Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Lexander J Apr 2015
Three thumbs,
an inverted nose -
the socket dilapidated and hollow
from which her left arm grows;

yet, quietly she breathes,
whilst her life-support machine hums,
chewing on her sixth finger
from a mouth with no gums.

The accidental off-spring
of one belated wife
and one related groom -
a nightmarish parody,
twisted from the bruises of a womb -

but, by miracle, she lives
crying from eyes that won't close -
a new-born child
with the face of a blackened rose;

and outside,
out of raging curiosity,
the whole world queues,
trying to see the baby in the little red shoes.

Would it be so bad if it dies?
Would it be so bad
not to hear its gurgling cries?

Or would you want it to live,
take away its self-respect,
just like a thief,
force it to live in a life
of ridiculing grief -

What would you choose
for the deformed child in the little red shoes?
Originally wrote 12 months ago, this poem describes my disgust in ****** and ****** abuse.
Lexander J Nov 2015
Three thumbs,
an inverted nose -
the socket dilapidated and hollow
from which her left arm grows;

yet, quietly she breathes,
whilst her life-support machine hums,
chewing on her sixth finger
from a mouth with no gums.

The accidental off-spring
of one belated wife
and one related groom -
a nightmarish parody,
twisted from the bruises of a womb -

but, by miracle, she lives
crying from eyes that won't close -
a new-born child
with the face of a blackened rose;

and outside,
out of raging curiosity,
the whole world queues,
trying to see the baby in the little red shoes.

Would it be so bad if it dies?
Would it be so bad
not to hear its gurgling cries?

Or would you want it to live,
take away its self-respect,
just like a thief,
force it to live in a life
of ridiculing grief -

What would you choose
for the deformed child in the little red shoes?
Lexander J Apr 2015
Inside roosts a rose of the purest arsenic,
and fanged teeth that prey upon the beating heart -
liquored venom that curses any skin with lesions,
completely devoid of mercy, it rips both flesh and bone apart.

With tendrils climbing the chasms of its velvet walls,
and thorns that would puncture thy lungs -
it's hunger devours the cytoplasm of living cells
it's saliva insidious poison that forever runs.

Only did it open when I spilt my blood onto its hellish fibres,
rejoicing with a tune from a voice that was beyond broken -
with a SNAP! And an almighty CRACK!
Did its demonic jaws spring wide open.

And there, lying in the decaying rotten core,
was no gold but a circular nest of poised stingers,
guarding this devil spawns horrific treasure;

one chest of nine severed fingers.
Lexander J May 2015
Jeff's a downtown Circus Clown,
with his bumbling antics
and rib-tickling pranks
he'll never fail
to turn your frown upside down

[Haha!]

Little do you know
Jeff,
he hates the whole sparkling show -
the way he has to dress
gives him mounting humiliation
and unwanted stress

"Whoops-a-Daisy!"
he frequently falls down
"Whoops-a-Daisy!"
after all, he's just a sideshow Clown
that's depressed
and slowly going crazy

[Crazy?]

Yes -

After yesterday's burlesque,
Jeff went home, poisoned his dog,
and left its frothing on his dining room desk

after a few shots of whiskey,
at dusk,
still in his Clown suit
he teetered on the cusp -

'What does he do now?
Where should he go?"

And concluded he should re-visit the beloved Downtown Circus show.

In the morning,
he'll perform on the stage
hide seven tubs of explosive up his sleeve,
and in front of hundreds of laughing spectators
he'll let his whole body blow,
and the best bit of it is -

Nobody will even know.
Lexander J Aug 2017
A weary lone wanderer running on strength that's sprained
the survivor of a conflict that has left him drained
he walks the streets, paranoia bloating his skull
mentally exhausted, normal life mundane and dull,

reality after the fallout is twisted and pained
the questions that once seethed now die unanswered, unexplained
how could it happen, why should it, why is life so unfair?
Alas he walks the road surrounded by people that no longer care

there's no danger, for it perished when the Lord finally resolved
but the pollution in his mind still remains sick and unsolved
the past ripped apart his sanity, threatened his physical health
now he lives a lie, forever hating himself

for how is he supposed to accept what happened just 'did'
how am I supposed to now take back happiness and peace after they hid?

And when the rest of the world sleep their silent sleepy dreams
the lone wanderer cries to night and breaks at the seams.
Lexander J Sep 2015
I gathered up my thoughts, and
gazed upon the waters of reflection,
serendipity shimmered cross its surface
I gasp, struck by the beauty of its perfection

transfixed on the little ripples and rivulets
splishing, splashing and weaving
clouds did gather above, the rain began to fall,
I sunk to my knees unawares I was bleeding

vision blurred with tears,
head swollen and aching from the cold,
I awoke this morning with no aim, but a destination,
and down this valley lane I strolled

I can no longer cook for myself, nor wash
and my hair has all but gone
some days it's as if nothing's happened
and others I know not my name nor where I'm from

my wife is long dead, my only grandchild, waits
ah, greed was always a perpetual enchanter -

alas none of this matters when you hear

"I'm sorry to say, sir, it is terminal pancreatic cancer."

And now gazing across the dewy grass
to the opposite side of the lake,
I reminisce the good times, the simple highlights
of this beautiful life Death will eventually take,

stone-cold realisation setting in for the last time
that soon I'll be gone, I know by the blood

tick tock Death, please don't be late,

I'm ready to be reunited with my Love.
Please do not think this is me, I'm trying to raise awareness of cancer and Alzheimer's
Lexander J Apr 2016
There he sat at a Grand Piano smoking a joint
eyes eclectic blue, narrowed to a point
a lover in season, expressing attraction in rays
woman after woman falling under his gaze

[Oh here are we, transparently caring]

shirt casually unbuttoned, chest bare, white
radiating beneath his own spotlight,
thinking he's adorable, pledging their hearts to him
with the grace of an Angel he takes them in

[ignorant to the torture at which we're staring]

a masochistic shark of society devoid of a fin
addled with ******* and getting under everyone's skin -
cutting with words sharp as razors
thanking the Lord and his many f^cking saviours

hammering away at the keys he sings a song of pure devotion
whilst sorely lacking in any physiological emotion
failing to see beyond this act, succumbing to all he may ask
it's only when the drugs ran out did he accidentally drop his mask

only a quick slip but a slip was enough
the smooth facade suddenly becoming corrosive and rough

backing up from the devilish contempt that had flickered through his eyes

the crowd around him exploded in startled cries

a thin white joke he cares for nobody but himself

forever dwindling into the abyss of eternal ill-health

with a crashing bang he threw his glass to the floor
erupting with anger in a blistering roar

reaching
chasing
hands clenched into fists

laughing in the face of death he blows it a kiss

["ARGH!"]

falling to the floor

clutching his chest -

heart suddenly stopping dead and

well,

I suppose you can guess the rest.
Lexander J Feb 2016
Lavish peroxide and stiletto heels
a chilling chaos slowly unreels,

low lit phosphor covers you like dust //-/-
to abstain my filthy feelings bite I must

removing your clothes shamelessly you tease
I tried your love but all I tasted was ******,
skin pale as milk, breath perfunctory and sour
instilling resentment upon these low level hours

luring the dumb and friendly
with a body insipid, curvaceous and bendy,
drawing blood from the beaten heart
disgusting, disguised as a queen but truly a ****

oh what is her name, does she even have one?

How long has it been since she saw the daylight sun?

Is she human or a vampire wanting more and more -
she's this disgusting creature known as a *****

spending her soiled cash on dope, exotic cocktails and *****

cutting swathes with her razor-heeled shoes -//-/

[the heart's filthy *****
her love stings like a stitch -
sin bloated black and growing
oh gold help me where's this going

-now?]


took me for everything I was, alone and left to languish
embarking on a romance infectious and outlandish

-///--/-

now I've stitched my wounds, burnt all her clothes

pushed to the back of my mind

alas her sordid laughter still echoes.
Lexander J May 2015
She whispers in my ear, says love is worth
it's brilliant weight in gold -
for eternity, upon that hot summer's night
to her passion my heart was forever sold.

I loved her then, and I still love her now;
from the first glance we fell under,
with running blood we forged an unbreakable vow.

Except it did break.

Fast forward to the eve of early October,
she's sumptuously massaging the back of my neck -
I'd never felt something so amazing
but back then my confidence was shot, I was a nervous wreck.

Oh but, she's got golden hair that ripples
and azure blue eyes that always entices -
her voice is as rich and slick as mahogany
surrounded by a fragrance of erotically exotic spices,

with teeth almost bleach-white,
and a body I'd have died to caress in the night -
oh that cheeky little smile
that made this mundane life seem more worthwhile,
now shrouded by memories and out of sight

Because, I was a pathetic waste of space -
with my head up my ****, I considered her advances a farce,
alas our friendship ran out of pace.

Now I only dream of what could have been,
for she had the strength that I lack -

oh sweet sweet lord,
how much I'd give to have her back.

[Jet Black]
Lexander J Apr 2015
In an inter-galactic ice cream van he arrived
and whizzed me away to countless nether-space lands -
through a universe of broken jigsaw pieces,
where rich diamanté flowers grew in shape-shifting sands.

He took me up the scarlet mountains
of the cotton candy clouds -
we both stood upon the smouldering brink of Hell
and gazed upon the ****** souls and tortuous shrouds.

He shown me light
wherein it seemed only eternal darkness prevailed,
he cracked the Astro-Riddler's code, and what
the aliens contempt language entailed,

with blistering fury
he spat in the pitiless face of greed -
with an almighty FLASH! And a rip-roaring DASH!
He travelled back to when God first planted mankind's seed.

He witnessed the future of the human race
fall horrifically out of place as the cunning serpent tempted Eve;
once he even stood before his coming demise
just to witness what the dead perceive.

O' those star-studded journeys were amazing
infinite wonders and simple love he exhaled,

but the most important thing he ever shown me,

was to never give up no matter how often I failed.
Lexander J Nov 2017
Broken memories and shattered lies
embers of mistrust glowing 'neath bloated skies,
it foams at the mouth and stalks our littered streets
a manifestation of grievance walking upon cloven feet

the screech of metal on rust, within the night a cry
lurking in the shadows in the corners of your eyes,
the Jabbersnatch is here and it's come for nobody but you
an abomination stealthy, surveying all that you do,

his blood is gold, his teeth splintered tooth picks
his amber eyes ecstasy that fits and splits

his role is to devour the wicked and the vile
the blood of his victims smeared upon his smile -

- - - -

The Jabbersnatch is here, he chuckles beneath my sink
the Jabbersnatch is here, I haven't slept a wink
the Jabbersnatch is here; oh my God, oh my days - what have I done?!

the Jabbersnatch is here

and he wants to have some *fun
Lexander J Aug 2017
A phoenix rising with smouldering wings
again I drag myself up even though it stings
surrounded by the ash of my filthy lies
finally, finally, pushing away all I ever despised

life broke me down, the shadow I tried to appease
tearing my heart out and falling to my knees -

what's the point in living when you wish you were never born
why try to fan away the flames with a flag that's torn

I wear a different face everyday like a new fashion
I've learnt to pretend and forge false passion
masquerading so much I no longer know who I am
a sad delinquent wreck I'd love to say I'm more than

but the days pass slower, tainted by grey
I fear death but yet I don't want to stay
sickened by the festering tumour of mundanity
I turn to the twisted romance of my insanity

but I have no true friends
merely another being with loose ends


oh I'm so tired, it just drains

the loneliness is calm but it pains

I razored stiletto in my side

alas I must push it to the back of my mind.


*For why do we fall?
To rise back up.
Lexander J May 2015
Uncouthly, the freeze of late-february did start to wane,
and from the canals that run through the city of Manchester
mists slowly arose, along with degrading auras of heavy disdain.

As pubs and nightclubs alike
shuttered up and locked down upon the cusp of early morn,
slimy creatures slowly ascended, treading the shadows of the streets for easy prey to ****** before the oncoming dawn,

stray felines and dogs, the most common of their foods,
thy amphibious monstrosities leaving behind nothing but bones -
and upon the second night after, their hunger sought more,

so they snuck into unknowing buildings and stole children from their homes.

Now what happened on that morning after was most queer;
these children were not found dead nor reduced to corpses, but in the strangest of places -

standing upon the edge of the canal's miasmic bank,

untouched 'xcept for the stretch of skin that now covers their faces.
Inspired By HP Lovecraft
Lexander J Oct 2016
Give me a reason why I should still breathe
explain what it is I should still believe -
all is not worthless, carry on even though it stings
is it not true that I had the Angel but broke her wings?

Oh here are we, one trans-androgynous moment in time
burying their dissident egos I over-inflated mine -

I'm sorry, but does my face show some sort of care?
You should know by now the world's both selfish and unfair

It doesn't need no explanations or excuses
reality is both exquisite and abusive,
as mere mortals how can we claim complete control
relying on hearts where spite hath grown?

Here are we, stood before the changing tide
rather than leap at the opportunity my heart simply sighs

Confusion! Confusion! Clarity where hath thou gone?

All is cold and dark, oh Lord why do I feel so alone?

Alas I sit alone beneath the stars
revealing both physical and emotional scars

the chance to start again has finally arisen

but do I still want to live in this world so disgustingly sin-ridden?
Lexander J Apr 2015
Do I disgust you? Do I repulse you
is my fashion sense really that vile?
Am I too ******, do you feel queasy
when I flash my sabre-tooth smile?

Am I too black? Or maybe too white?
Do my exquisite tastes blind your eyes?
Am I too sultry, is my bare-faced adultery
the very thing that you despise?

I am a king, I am a queen;
my greed grows from below to above -
my alacrity I stretch, to hear people retch,
I am a commander of one and the origin of love,

Yes I'm an exponential craze, I live to amaze
entering blistering gunfights blind -
so disgracefully *****, reaching the ripe age of thirty
and I've already left my thousand sins behind,

So do I still disgust you, still repulse you
with my repugnant smile?

Yes I can be ******, make you feel queasy,
but trust me it'll all be worthwhile.
Lexander J Jan 2017
A subject of a black disinterest
from the corrupted mind of perverse ******,

he's a key that's opened up my sorry thoughts
a narcissistic God that warps and distorts

a pale tyrant absent in the cold light of day
instead he leaves me only with sorrow to play
it's when the sunlight dies and the darkness consumes
that his spell awakens and fully exhumes

abstaining filthy needs I meander to the pool of obscurity
in the dark corners of the Web seemingly lies security
interacting with my dark desires, I cannot think,
from the cup of a personal Judas do I slowly drink

everyone around is dying, my ego I have hidden
everybody makes mistakes but can a God be forgiven
for unable to punish others I'm punishing myself
terrified of the future that is confusion and ill health -

if I succumb will he be merciful and grudgingly help
steal the other's pain and inflict it upon myself?

Or will he plunder my soul for my most lurid temptations
and fill my world with the void of his true destructive intentions?
Lexander J Apr 2016
It's cold and dark but he no longer cares
probably safe to say he no longer feels
the lights are turned down dim
no sound 'xcept the wheeze of the wind outside

the walls are bare, at emptiness he stares
you only realise what you've lost when it's gone
nothing but half drunk cocktails and *******
within his callous pale facade he hides

what's done is done, but never forgiven
he gave it all, all of what could be given
they spat it back, threw it all in his face
now here he rots in isolation suspended in disgrace

conniving vultures they tore him apart
ridicule upon ridicule lashed upon his heart
bought them diamonds, gold, anything a woman could ever need
rather than love they acted out of jealousy and greed

---

once there were birds that sang at the start of every morn
right outside his bedroom window
oh how he regrets their sudden passing
their joyful tweets made this world seem so kind

now he wakes with a head crippled, a face tightly drawn
hunger being that of gnawing addiction
caring for nothing but the Caviar and it's forbidden magic
helping him leave all the pain behind

guided like a train to its next station
total self-destruction his only destination

languishing in drugs, *******-out ***
that it was all his fault I guess
the Pallid Badrock Lover will never accept.
Bit of an experiment
Lexander J Jun 2016
The first thing he smelt was charred ash. A dour, stale smell that drifted in the air, staining the walls and ceiling of the room like a bad birthmark. If you'd have asked him 3 weeks ago prior to today never would he have considered smoking. That was before the bad thing had happened, and now he was puffing away 20 a day like a run-down steam engine.

Stacks of crumpled cigarette packets and empty beer bottles cluttered the floor, along with discarded business cards that seemed to taunt his name, William Shaw, with a bitter humour whenever he looked at them. He had it all - money, a career, an established identity, and yet never had he felt so lost, so meaningless. It seemed the period before when the black event occurred, when the tone and texture of life had suddenly dimmed like being turned down by a dial, was merely a gold and fragile vail, strung up in front of realities true, decrepit, face. A face that had clawed it's way through the happiness, the blistering rays of the summer sunshine, the mounting financial wealth and job promotions, like a pathetic wall of paper plastered over a back street entry.

The first thing he saw when he awoke this morning was the tan coloured ceiling of his flat. Through the sleep induced blurry vision of eyes that have not fully woke, this looked strangely like a vast desert, the minute crack that lay in the middle stretching before his tired eyes into a huge smiling ravine. It reminded him of the grand canyon, something as a child he'd always wanted to visit. He had spent a lot of his school holidays, and acrylic paint and canvases, drawing pictures of it, inspired by its many twists and curves, imagining it as an entrance to another mystical world below where dinosaurs and other creatures hid from the world above.

To a child creativity is essentially their way of interpreting life, and coming to terms with it, and for William Shaw the thing that got those cogs whirring was nature itself. He'd write stories, draw and paint pictures, and whilst his skill at all these was clumsy, his imagination was striking adept, confusing and wowing his parents who had been expecting a crude stick man drawing but instead were presented with a clunky, Van Gogh-style picturesque scene. Being an artist isn't all about the skill, anyone can perfect brush strokes, but looking at the ordinary and somehow visualising the extraordinary.

He never ended up going to the canyon, nor anywhere else for that matter - his mother was unemployed, utilising her time by taking piano lessons and gardening, and his father was a forklift driver at a logistics company. Barring the one-time trip to a seaside holiday camp, where the apartments had smelt of salt and the bedding was scratchy, Will had never been on holiday as a child.

But that was okay, he told himself, they struggled but never neglected me. Now, lying here as the amber hues of dawn startled trickling through the middle of the curtains, those days all seemed like a distant dream. Breaking down financially, they were exhausted and living in worry, yet he went on all the school trips, always had milk money and a cooked dinner waiting for him when he got home.

I have more than I could ever want, and had then, so why do I feel like this?

He knew why, it was because of the bad thing. It had lodged itself inside him, like a festering tumour. No amount of running or distracting himself would make it any better; it would be like running a race against a car or a train.

Or a speeding bullet -

[Hush! Don't want to think about that]

And it was in that split moment he felt an image rising to the surface, callous and cold - a champagne glass exploding into a shower of shards, and oh the screams all he could hear was their screams rising like a tidal wave, ready to submerge, to drown -

BANG BANG!!

He rose with a jolt and glanced over to the digital clock which blinked 8:49 in the far corner. He was running late again and needed to get a move on if he was to arrive at work on time. He hadn't been late ever, but over this week getting up had been a struggle. Sleep just seemed more of a priority right now.

He grabbed a cigarette and stuck it in his mouth, grimacing as the acrid taste filled his mouth. The first was always the worst; causing slight nausea as the nicotine rushed to your head. However the feeling of airlessness afterwards was amazing, temporarily stunning all the nerves in your brain, giving a confused floating feeling only drugs can better. His best mate John, who'd subsequently introduced him to smoking, often said the best cigarette of the day is the first as the 12 hour sleep hiatus allowed the brain to detoxify itself, thus catalysing the nicotine rush. The fact John also thought the Queen was an alien and that Donald Trump should be president made Will take his advice with a pinch of salt - but, in regards to smoking, he was almost spot on.

Much like himself, John was quite a skinny guy with a shock of scruffy black hair receding even though he was in his late twenties, and his black outlook on life often contradicted his bubbly personality. Will had known him for years since high school, and knew full well his stupid and often sarcastic jokes hid the darker side to him; John had served time in prison for a theft he didn't commit and, although he wouldn't admit it, had lapsed into a drug addiction upon his release. The slight gaunt dips in his cheeks said it all.

Looking at him coping, just, and carrying on filled Will with both admiration and guilt. His best friend was spiralling into a whirlpool right under his nose, and the worse part of all - he couldn't do anything about it. Again the feeling of helplessness, of meaninglessness, was there gnawing away like a bloated sewer rat.

He took another drag and glanced again to the clock. Now it read 8:57, almost grinning at him from the other side of the room.

Better get a shifty on, and with that he stubbed the cigarette out and stumbled toward the bathroom, catching his toe and cursing as he went.
A story I've just started, I would greatly appreciate and constructive feedback.
Lexander J Jun 2016
By the time he got out of the front door the morning sun had fully risen. Surrounding it lay a sea of blue sky, light coloured and peppered here and there with trails of white left from distant airplanes. The birds sang in the trees, all in harmony, and a light breeze whispered, left over from the night before.

As he jumped into his car, a dusty red little Citroën, he realised that in his rushed efforts to get ready he'd put his shoes on the wrong feet. A little while ago he'd seen a documentary based on people with abnormal deformities, and there had been an American 30-something year old with two right feet. Right now, looking at his shoes, he looked a little like him; all he needed now was a group of cameras and a well-spoken, polished presenter pretending to care but really just thinking about the paycheck at the end of night. He figured all TV presenters were pretentious, fixated on climbing up the great showbiz ladder rather than helping those in need.

He grabbed them off, scuffed black business shoes to match his tattered jeans and faded blue shirt, and swapped them over. Once both shoes were on correct, he lit up a smoke and set off down the road.

Ahead of him was Lancaster Road, a sprawling stretch of asphalt tarmac that served as the primary mode of navigation through Manchester. If you were to turn left it would take you all the way into the main city, and also a stodge of backed-up traffic, and, if you chose right, to the quiet town of Penitence which was where his works was based. Going right would technically be quicker, as the road to the left led to a series of zig zag-like curves where the road layout had been forced to compensate for the huge cliff several miles to the north. That being said, Will almost always chose left, as the dual carriageway that branched off Lancaster Road was always jammed up with traffic, comprising mainly of angry motorists and haulage lorries driving in from the east. Choosing right would easily add three quarters of an hour onto his journey, and quite frankly he'd rather stare at a wall than be surrounded by blaspheming mouths and ugly red faces.

This time however he went right, joining the steady stream of cars that were already beginning to slow down. There was no apparent reason for this, for over 4 years he must have consistently turned left every morning, but today his mind had thrown a curveball - albeit a stupid one. Already running late, it had chosen to go on the longest route possible.

Good work there mate, brilliant.


50mph - 45mph - 40mph

The speedometer slowly crept down, the shudder of the lower gears gradually increasing. Clouds had now gathered in the sky, not quite bloated nor dark enough to threaten rain but it was enough to dull the sunshine into a pale, white, glow. He was now going slow enough to see the bits of clutter and ******* - discarded newspapers, cans, broken bottles - littering the pavement. Then it suddenly gave way to a rudimentary dirt road and steel crash barriers as he approached the dual carriageway.

35mph - 30mph - 25mph

Sighing, he fumbled for the radio and flicked it on, momentarily averting his gaze from the road to the numbered buttons, tuning for a station.

--- Ssssshhhh ---

Nothing but static.

**** radio! If only I could -

When he glanced up his heart nearly stopped - directly ahead of him, on the highway, stood a man. He stood with his back toward Wills car, shoulders slumped, stock still.

What-?!

Will froze as the car lurched on, the distance between the bonnet and the mans body rapidly closing. No thought came into his brain, his legs distant from his body as if untethered.

Nothing but numbness.

The future series of events played like a stop motion video inside his mind; finding the brakes and jamming them down - only too little, too late. The old man would first lean as the bumper pressed into his lower back, then snap sickeningly in half, the momentum of the car causing his body to jackhammer up the bonnet and roll over the back of the car. There he would fall once again onto the road, spine splintered and blood soaking through his shirt into a puddle on the tarmac.

STOP! Will stop the **** car!!!

He smashed the brakes down and closed his eyes.

Although the first thing taught in driving lessons is to never close your eyes, particularly during an emergency stop, the overwhelming panic threw his nerves into a spasm, and in that split second everything he was told - brake hard, clutch down, don't let the car stall - was forgotten in an instant. He knew what he should do, knew that if the wheels were even slightly turned he could cause the car to skid, or worse, flip.

Brake down, clutch down, engine off, a mantra his instructor had once sang on one of his first lessons. Will had a feeling that if Ruth Carotene could see him, see this, now she'd have some sort of coronary, or maybe an aneurysm. She'd always been set in her ways of teaching, starting each lesson going through her seemingly endless list of checkpoints, and this right here smashed every single rule she'd taught him.
Break, clutch, engine off -
Eyes, open your eyes
He did, the windscreen before him doubling for a second. His heart was pounding away, nervous sweat lining his forehead and arms. The car had stopped, and in his dumb paralysis he hadn't the faintest idea how much it had skid. Safe to say it hadn't flipped over though, unless he was upside down and didn't realise it.
Nope, the sky is still above me, he observed, and it was then he also saw the fat bald-headed guy rapping his hands against the drivers side window. The world washed back slowly, the sun white and the air filled wit beeps and the Ssssshhhhhh static of the radio. He lowered the window, allowing the honking horns to fully enter and consume the inside of the car.
"What the hell are you playing at? I nearly ran into the back of you!" the bald guy barked at him, his pudgy face both pale and angry. Will glanced in the rear view mirror and saw about a dozen or so more cars behind him, scowling faces and gesturing hands sending out messages far from morning greetings or amicable hello's.
"Sorry... There was someone in the road," he croaked, pointing to the blank space in front. Empty, nothing there.
Can't be, he was right there! Stood right there! For a second he thought the figure had been an apparition, or maybe hadn't been there all along, merely a figment of his tired mind. That's when his gaze shifted to the opposite side of the road and the mis-shapen entity clambering over the crash barrier. Whoever it was, they had crossed the road while Will had been in his daze, and it was now he could fully see it in it's ghastly glory.
"I must be ****** blind 'cause to me there ain't nobody there -"
Grotesque was the only word he could think of to describe it. Under the pallid glow of the sun its skin glistened sick-white, partially covered by a tattered grey t-shirt that billowed in the wind like torn flags. It wore shorts, also grey, it's long stick-like legs poking out like splintered tooth picks. And it's face, oh God that face. He only caught a vague view as it glanced over its shoulder, but what he saw reminded him of the ghouls that would creep out of the crypts, the nightmarish beings that stalked late night TV shows such as the Twilight Zone seeking fresh flesh to feast on. But it was human alright - it's normal, albeit disintegrating, clothing the only sign of its former non-twisted self.
Oh God -
"Hey, are you even listening? There ain't no one there *******!"
Will faced the guy, now stood so close his flabby face nearly poked through the window, and then back to the crash barrier. The fiend was gone, much to his relief.
"Sorry it must have been a bird or something, I'm really really sorry mate I thought it was a man, or a kid."
"Yeah yeah whatever, just get going and get out of my way." With that he stormed off, only stopping briefly to exchange disapproving looks with the car behind him. He drove a black sports-like car, probably a Vauxhall, and Will briefly wondered how such a small car could carry an overweight ******* like that.
*******, he muttered to himself as he restarted the engine. Turns out he'd let the car stall as well.
Back to school I guess, what would dear old Ruth say?
Setting off was easy, the fat guy overtook him almost instantly, slamming his horn as he went, but looking over to where the misfit had been was not. He wanted to look, to check in case it hadn't really gone away and was instead lurking, contorting it's swollen lips into a grin.
Grinning at him.
"Gooood evening listeners, this is RADIO XFM!"
Halfway down the radio finally clicked on, interrupting his line of thought - quite mercifully, if he was being honest. The sight of that thing not only made him feel uneasy, but he also couldn't shake off the feeling of foreboding as well. Like it was some sort of warning, a sign.
Of what?
[smashing glass smashing]
He didn't know, didn't dare to think, and as he cantered down the carriageway in the steady stream of traffic he sat silently, the radio singing out its tunes like an uninvited guest. It was an oldie that was on, maybe Boston or Bowie, he wasn't sure, but as it played on he sat in silence, the shadows in the car cutting harsh lines into his face.
Lexander J Dec 2016
Sashes on the pavement, lovers in a ditch
singing their own love songs in the highest pitch,
the Heartbreak City banks, full of disgusting ****** and tramps -
welcome to your new Empire of dust, forever lit beneath low phosphour lamps

strutting down those streets with your hands on your hips
filthy smile smeared over those tempestuous lips,
stinking of the latest high maintenance fragrance
the ****** arrogance that flips and fits

the hottest ***** I've ever seen
from a nobody to the penultimate Killer Queen,
champagne, diamonds, expensive tastes,
spending money on luxuries and other waste

oh I love your exotic ideas, your shattering impatient thoughts
spreading the *** craze that warps and distorts,
your people slumber in poverty, weep at your knees
instead of mercy you gift them with drug addiction and disease

children crying upon high streets
lawyers demanding prostitutes for tax receipts -

oh here they come -

the worst is un-seen

oh here they come -

both unjust and un-clean

the beautiful people are mannequins and they hide in shadows
birthed from ****** within Satan's abysmal gallows
clicking fingernails rotted and curled
whispering everything makes sense in a senseless world -

this perfection is not what it used to be
your quest is useless, for can't you see -
the beautiful people are plague, and they hide behind trees
and sooner or later they'll catch you, steal and contort your dreams.
Lexander J Apr 2015
There's two sugar dumplings
called Tate and Lyle -
one just frowns
at the other's queer smile,

for Tate is different
to the rest of the sugar pack;
he harbours an overbearing weight,
an abnormal secret strapped to his back.

He's attracted, not to women,
but to tender men -
an odd manifestation within
that yearns again, and again.

O' sadistic Lyle knew this of course
and so was furious to the core -
for the little sugar brat
nursed a bleeding heart, broken and sore,

and as the pendulums of time
did eventually sway,
Lyle allowed his own brother
to be taken on a spoon, up up and away -

down into a boiling furnace of tea,
alas 'twas sallow anger,
not guilt, that Lyle felt,

his crystals of sugar bristling,
as he watched his younger sibling drown and melt.
Lexander J Dec 2016
Tate and Lyle were the very best of brothers
but one hid a secret unbeknownst to others,
for Tate had hidden a sick infatuation since the age of 10,
a ***** manifestation that had evolved into ****** pleasure with men

alas Lyle had known this for quite a while
in more ways than one he was manipulative and vile,
distancing his brother from the rest of the sugar pack
his sanity twisted from the overbearing secret strapped to his back

oh is homosexuality completely incorrect?
A taboo subject only understood by the superior intellect -
sugar cubes don't have brains, but they are cunning,
for when the spoon came, Lyle trapped his brother as the others fled running

and as the pendulumns of time did eventually sway
Lyle allowed his brother to be taken on the spoon up up and away,
and 'twas sallow anger, not sorrow, Lyle felt,
his sugar crystals bristling as he saw his sibling slowly drown and melt.
Lexander J Dec 2015
Guided by beer light down moonlit streets
pockets stuffed with stale tobacco and receipts,
pariahs of the night, queens of the teen-age
attacking their youth in a drug fuelled rage

shaking their bodies 'neath schizophrenic lights
a typical night filled with hatred and fights,
the bloodlust was fun, a midnight boogie,
danger both caustic and infectiously groovy

girls all wearing dresses too small for their *****
disk jockeys playing electro-pop to please the masses -

#WAM!#

#BAM!#

#OH YEA, OH MAN!!!#

like raving corsairs they arrived; guitars lean, leather jackets sublime

o'behold the rip-roarin' Raven's Clandestine

["People ARE YOU READY?!"]

they played rock that growled in your ears
snazzy lyrics metaphorical tears,
indulging in passion, ***, alcohol and heavy drugs
dismissing dire warnings with cockily executed shrugs

swaggering to blistering tunes in front of the crowds
singing songs '******-*****' and 'Rebel-Tastic' obnoxiously proud,
falling in love on the stage, falling in love in their beds,
adorning their wild hair with tassels and threads

blissfully ignorant they simply didn't care
wanted to do what they want, alas life ain't that fair -

the bassist met a rogue *****, contracted ***

the guitarist lost his sight, carried on playing though he couldn't see,

the drummer lost his cool and battered a fan
found high on *******, for 10 years locked away more than

and the lead singer, with his hip swagger 'n jive,
suffered a massive stroke, upon the stage in a screeching solo he died

[he hides his sinister within songs
died gazing at *******-clad chicks in fluorescent thongs]


promising to be legends they rocked the 1970's ambiguous nation

alas their substance abuse and ****** desires had already cursed them to damnation.
Lexander J Apr 2015
Never in your life has a nightmare
been as **** as this -
the hag that had once repulsed you, now preens,
rubs her *******, blows you a kiss.

["Hiya sweetie..."]

Oh, she grins and giggles
removes her mouth and opens up a rotted carcass;
moth-eaten rags hanging off
her bony chest that's puerile and heartless,

dancing in pools of stagnating, coruscant blood,
stroking the tender fabric of your deepest frights -
arching her back, licking her lips,
she rips holes in her legs beneath sultry velvet tights,

******* clad, her old sagging skin
waxy and sick,
whacking her *** naughtily

[Slap! Slap!]

as she gives you a cheeky lil' wink -

#FLASH#

you're wide awake, stiff upright
sweaty and cold -
desperately trying to get to grips, but knowing

[too little, too late]

that to the darkness your soul is
forever sold.
Lexander J Apr 2016
A martyr to love you can hear his cries
killing the joke he's always despised

bruised, battered, bloodied, broken
dwelling in the void where hope is woven

here are we; oblivious, transparently caring
blind to the torture at which we're staring
fooling him again, injecting pleasure into his silly brain
you do nothing but smile as he grows insane

what is it I should feel now
loss, anger, sorrow?
Is it normal to feel this uncaring
fixated on starting again tomorrow?

Here am I
eyes flashing in fury but without thunder
hot bathwater rising up my face
ears blind to the world I slip under

nothing but the muffled beats of my heart,
at first she was interested
but in bitterness now we part -

the 12am chimes call shrill and loud
in the pale lover's abyss he can be found
a figment of my ego, he's cold, pallid in state
stealing innocence he twists and pulls and manipulates

dressing in suits and designer attire
luring any woman that takes the time to admire
ignorant to society, forges his own fashion
dangerously devoid of any emotion or passion

sick from the sleep deprivation
sick of waking up with eyes bloodshot red

he collects the souls of his many lovers
sipping at their lives as their bodies lie frozen dead.
So I have just had "I'd rather be friends" after a first date - this poem is more to get **** off my chest.

Apologies for my language.
Lexander J Jul 2015
As a kid he was odd,
a collector of scraps and small animal bones
a snivelling creature of the night,
he'd scurry about and hang around people's homes,

the wind would caress his hair as the dawning sun shone
on his tatty corduroy trousers and shirt,
like any other normal boy, he'd catch freaky insects
and make gross pies out of wet dirt

but that beaming toothless smile
suppressed a sadness so intense it twisted itself into pain;
from slimy cocoons latched onto his stomach
flew out wicker-work butterflies of fear and disdain

for, every night he would lie awake,
shivering in cold sweat
paralysed in terror, too scared to scream
as the thing of nightmares drawled beneath his bed

with a CRUNCH and a sickening SNAP,
it would feast upon his collection of dry animal bones
then slink off into the darkness
to raid all the other neighbouring homes

alas it was only a matter of time
'til his parents stumbled across the source of his dread -
the apothecary of horror descending upon their helpless souls
draining their bodies dry and leaving them for dead

turning to face the boy for the first time
blood dribbling down its lumpy chin
it's eyes burning, luminescent and yellow,
as maggots and ticks burrowed in its skin

"Why do you not turn away child, succumb to your fear and face thee?"
The Vampyre rasped, it's voice high with amusement
"Who could dare stare into my eyes and not scream?"

and the boy's answer was simple
so simple it took the creature by complete surprise;
"Why should I fear you, when I don't fear death itself?"
And with this the boy gestured towards the first light of sunrise,

and as the Vampyre swooped in
to take his last breath
he smiled, embraced the decrepit creature
welcoming the chilling kiss of Death.

AJ
Lexander J Aug 2015
You're pretty and you know it
using those glassy eyes to tame -
my heart's suckered 'n you know it,
post-*** love purely (surely?) to blame

my mind melts as I grow weak at the knees
your gaze flitting from sultry to predatory -
blood gushes, adrenalin flushes
sweat dripping upon my skin lust-crazy, expectedly

oh I'll burn these nervy butterflies
with this blistering searing fury,
argh, stop this Pretence girl
'cause it's just starting to bore me -

Mind Control to Inner Soul;
"what's your status?"

Inner Soul to Mind Control;
"help! The guts are dead and the heart is fractured!!!"


my body slowly dying, polluted sick
with the caustic affection you instil
"WARNING; cytoplasmic deterioration imminent -
extreme ******-***** overkill!"


for now I know I must give up the chase
the Neurones have received a final transmission (oh please no, it can't be);

"This is .. Inner Soul to Mind Control..
we're all so tired.. so tired .. so .. sleepy - - -"


*CLICK
Lexander J Jun 2015
Strapped and bound to the wall
a game of ******* and chains, as
solitude light casts shadows
on an abomination's remains,

I gaze into the mirror on the wall
my troubled face pasty as sour milk
and the laughing glass laughs, taunting
from beneath a surface as smooth as silk

for within its nether-twine frame
thy carbon copy mimics my reflection
spun from a festering web of sorrow,
and tainted by prolific perfection

the accusations of people that have been cast
through my estranged blood it runs,
for bending both ways is despicable
and to do so I might as well kiss their loaded guns

and as I stare at my sorry reflection
I see juvenility, excitement and confusion
daggers of shame piercing my eyes,
the skin around blackening from their intrusion, and pathetic lies

oh yes change is strange
and as humans we naturally fear
but love is such a word now often unheard
causing the laughing glass to leer

and now when I look at myself
I don't see who I truly am,
that, beyond their cackles and conniving remarks,
I am actually so much more than -

I see a stranger, a ******, a mistaken queer,
the number one prestigious freak -

but from the shadows I will rise
and from my heart I will finally speak.
Lexander J Apr 2015
A Lion's heart, but it lost it's pride,
one nasty grudge with a gun
and a million thoughts that flicker and subside.

I see your face in the dying moonlight,
a heart that's torn, mangled,
kept awake by past memories that whisper in the night.

A bud that splits, fed by intravenous inception
moral decomposition ingrained into its glistening petals,
leading its victims on a crimson stained mis-direction -

you're my Dove that shines in the light
but with split feathers, and broken wings;
the kiss from the Devil you used to love
still bites and stings.

For tonight you cry for mercy
as I silently peer through the crack in the door -

it seems father finally took your heart,
and left it bleeding and shattered upon the floor.
Lexander J Dec 2017
Hey there pretty, I'm sorry I had to
fall in love

hey there cruel world,
I'm sorry I had to give up

- - -

HEY

GOD

oh won't you listen to me -

I've ******* had enough!

- - -

I'm throwing up the wall to block out the sin
for no matter how I try I never seem to win,

everything good is broken

now I don't even care

my eyes are bloodshot swollen

from the misery that I stare


when your heart beats

but you're not sure if you're still living

when you love others

but still they're not giving

you realise to yourself, maybe now's the time


to drop the final gear and just drive


surround yourself with emptiness, not much else to miss
take your shattered pride and give it a ****** kiss

rip out that septic ***** and replace it with something anew
mesh together callousness and loathing

by flesh, cartilidge and sinew

["You're Pathetic."]

- - -

I don't need no confirmation

I don't want no self control

broken hearts, slit apart

past and present to unfold


HEY GOD

oh won't you give me your hand to hold?
Lexander J Jul 2015
The world flies past before me
nagging fear growing more and more transparent,
hiking back breaths to stop feeling sick
as the journey lengthens, my panic becomes apparent,

I never loved my creator, still I wanted to go back
to stare the evil I fear in its soured face
'fore it finally gathers up its silken Cape and drifts
up into the night, leaving behind only its vile taste,

spawned from the pressures of society
and the kiss of insanity, such is its need dire -
speaking like a god, loving like a machine,
sewing together its threads like a manipulative liar

god only knows why the bloated womb of life
threw up this pathetic excuse of a being,
and one may surmise myself bitter and twisted
but dear you can't see what I'm seeing,

she's a Vampyre of time and space itself
the parasite that preys more upon my mind with every passing year,
as the world around greys, along with my fractured heart,
the questions of How What and Why grow ever-more sincere

but as I stand before my late birth-mother,
her face not that of evil or a Vampyre, but of a woman riddled with fear -
I realise the anger I feel now mimics her own past demons
and that my judgement was dispelled by a single, bitter tear

[How was I such a fool
to willingly become so heartless and cruel?]

yes she took away my beautiful sister
but blood runs thick, sorrow's carried upon the wings of a Dove,
and now in her time of need, instead of asking questions
I'll simply shower her with my undying love.

[Sometimes it's easier to forgive and let go
because only then can love really show]
Lexander J Apr 2017
My sister's sick with a disease that can barely be cured
a flash and all is gone when hope seemed restored

pumping veins with poison and chemicals, to ****;
when the cure's worse than the sickness all you're left with is will

when you have nothing but love and helplessness
you realise money and peace are just luxuries, excess -

for how much is a pure healthy soul
nothing to be afforded by countless billions or gold

she sits there now, starving but sick
there's nothing I can do but be quick

mop up the mess, fawn a laugh, a medicating joke
when deep down in my heart I just want to choke -

when her hair falls out and you can do nothing but smile
then quietly run away to cry for awhile

when she looks into your eyes and says she's fine
even with her voice bloated and trying not to whine

when the days feel black and you have nobody to turn to
even though they're all around you

when you curse the Lord, wish the cancer upon yourself
when you punish your body just to understand her health

when things become unbearable, but you're always there

*that's when you know, my son, you truly care.
Lexander J Sep 2015
My heart bleeds, oh friend can you hear it cry?
Strength gone, pride shrivelled up to die,
ignorance, fear; the only defences I've known
shuttering up that place where hope should have grown

dreams plagued with her beauty, and lure
I breathe from a body indulgent, impure
her eyes bite, her voice hits with a fist,
fangs protrude from the mouth I have countlessly kissed

the sun does shine but my mood still wanes
not my fault yet it's myself I still blame,
am not good enough, do I not appeal
will she spit humiliation upon me as I beg and kneel

will she take me in her arms, kiss me, say it's alright
will she caress my blackened heart, love me all through the night
will she **** the voices that tempt me to sin
will she be mine to keep, if only I could win

or will she burn me in the fires of rejection
**** me off into a world of deceit and deception -

a question that burns like an ember within my brain,
do I really want to know if she feels the same?

AJ
Lexander J Dec 2018
Ghosts of past icons hung on the walls,
echoes of music whispering through halls

of stained chequered linoleum floors,
incarnadine crimson curtains and dead applause

welcome to Tranquility Lane Hotel
where all you see is broken
welcome to the devourer of dreams, where
you can buy shame with one chipped casino token

when all you fear is real, and all you wish is perished

when all the world around is charred, here we have everything you ever cherished

*****, drugs, fights and ***
money, food, water and insects


the mutant hounds of the apocalypse screech and howl
as you sit back in a freshly perfumed bath towel
watching old TV adverts of a world gone by
an era decimated in the blink of an eye

stretch back and sip that brilliant post-war champagne
please ignore the screams and mysterious stains

no one ever leaves, no one ever tells,

welcome traveller to

Tranquility Lane Hotel.
Lexander J Apr 2015
Time does canter forth,
as inky blotches stain the ground -
violent panic whizzes and fizzes
within this wonderland now ceasing to astound

for the Rabbit was late
and Luck has fantastically fallen at the final hurdle -
the fragile hope that did keep me going
is now starting to throw-up and curdle

for despotic ink oozes from the sky
bleeding woes and pities into the barren sands,
as the sun shines on, the shock settles in,
I wipe away the tears with shaking hands

t-trying to ignore the screams (oh the cries!)
as my family burn within our flaming home -
with a slight flick of a match
everything I have ever loved has lit up and gone

five corpses of the familiarity to which I've been accustomed (smoking)
drowned out by the new stories forged -
amidst the loss Death lounges, burping and bloated,
satisfied by the life that has been gorged

("Oh my that was stunning! Now what next, toffee pie or treacle pudding?")

alas my mind shatters //-

-- // CLATTERS //-

eensy-weensy shards that a-pitter-patters

to the stale ground -
the howling wind tortured cries of the living
searching for the deceased that are never found.
Lexander J Jun 2016
By the time he got out of the front door the morning sun had fully risen. Surrounding it lay a sea of blue sky, light coloured and peppered here and there with trails of white left from distant airplanes. The birds sang in the trees, all in harmony, and a light breeze whispered, left over from the night before.

As he jumped into his car, a dusty red little Citroën, he realised that in his rushed efforts to get ready he'd put his shoes on the wrong feet. A little while ago he'd seen a documentary based on people with abnormal deformities, and there had been an American 30-something year old with two right feet. Right now, looking at his shoes, he looked a little like him; all he needed now was a group of cameras and a well-spoken, polished presenter pretending to care but really just thinking about the paycheck at the end of night. He figured all TV presenters were pretentious, fixated on climbing up the great showbiz ladder rather than helping those in need.

He grabbed them off, scuffed black business shoes to match his tattered jeans and faded blue shirt, and swapped them over. Once both shoes were on correct, he lit up a smoke and set off down the road.

Ahead of him was Lancaster Road, a sprawling stretch of asphalt tarmac that served as the primary mode of navigation through Manchester. If you were to turn left it would take you all the way into the main city, and also a stodge of backed-up traffic, and, if you chose right, to the quiet town of Penitence which was where his works was based. Going right would technically be quicker, as the road to the left led to a series of zig zag-like curves where the road layout had been forced to compensate for the huge cliff several miles to the north. That being said, Will almost always chose left, as the dual carriageway that branched off Lancaster Road was always jammed up with traffic, comprising mainly of angry motorists and haulage lorries driving in from the east. Choosing right would easily add three quarters of an hour onto his journey, and quite frankly he'd rather stare at a wall than be surrounded by blaspheming mouths and ugly red faces.

This time however he went right, joining the steady stream of cars that were already beginning to slow down. There was no apparent reason for this, for over 4 years he must have consistently turned left every morning, but today his mind had thrown a curveball - albeit a stupid one. Already running late, it had chosen to go on the longest route possible.

Good work there mate, brilliant.


50mph - 45mph - 40mph

The speedometer slowly crept down, the shudder of the lower gears gradually increasing. Clouds had now gathered in the sky, not quite bloated nor dark enough to threaten rain but it was enough to dull the sunshine into a pale, white, glow. He was now going slow enough to see the bits of clutter and ******* - discarded newspapers, cans, broken bottles - littering the pavement. Then it suddenly gave way to a rudimentary dirt road and steel crash barriers as he approached the dual carriageway.

35mph - 30mph - 25mph

Sighing, he fumbled for the radio and flicked it on, momentarily averting his gaze from the road to the numbered buttons, tuning for a station.

--- Ssssshhhh ---

Nothing but static.

**** radio! If only I could -

When he glanced up his heart nearly stopped - directly ahead of him, on the highway, stood a man. He stood with his back toward Wills car, shoulders slumped, stock still.

What-?!

Will froze as the car lurched on, the distance between the bonnet and the mans body rapidly closing. No thought came into his brain, his legs distant from his body as if untethered.

Nothing but numbness.

The future series of events played like a stop motion video inside his mind; finding the brakes and jamming them down - only too little, too late. The old man would first lean as the bumper pressed into his lower back, then snap sickeningly in half, the momentum of the car causing his body to jackhammer up the bonnet and roll over the back of the car. There he would fall once again onto the road, spine splintered and blood soaking through his shirt into a puddle on the tarmac.

STOP! Will stop the **** car!!!

He smashed the brakes down and closed his eyes.

Although the first thing taught in driving lessons is to never close your eyes, particularly during an emergency stop, the overwhelming panic threw his nerves into a spasm, and in that split second everything he was told - brake hard, clutch down, don't let the car stall - was forgotten in an instant. He knew what he should do, knew that if the wheels were even slightly turned he could cause the car to skid, or worse, flip.

Brake down, clutch down, engine off, a mantra his instructor had once sang on one of his first lessons. Will had a feeling that if Ruth Carotene could see him, see this, now she'd have some sort of coronary, or maybe an aneurysm. She'd always been set in her ways of teaching, starting each lesson going through her seemingly endless list of checkpoints, and this right here smashed every single rule she'd taught him.
Break, clutch, engine off -
Eyes, open your eyes
He did, the windscreen before him doubling for a second. His heart was pounding away, nervous sweat lining his forehead and arms. The car had stopped, and in his dumb paralysis he hadn't the faintest idea how much it had skid. Safe to say it hadn't flipped over though, unless he was upside down and didn't realise it.
Nope, the sky is still above me, he observed, and it was then he also saw the fat bald-headed guy rapping his hands against the drivers side window. The world washed back slowly, the sun white and the air filled wit beeps and the Ssssshhhhhh static of the radio. He lowered the window, allowing the honking horns to fully enter and consume the inside of the car.
"What the hell are you playing at? I nearly ran into the back of you!" the bald guy barked at him, his pudgy face both pale and angry. Will glanced in the rear view mirror and saw about a dozen or so more cars behind him, scowling faces and gesturing hands sending out messages far from morning greetings or amicable hello's.
"Sorry... There was someone in the road," he croaked, pointing to the blank space in front. Empty, nothing there.
Can't be, he was right there! Stood right there! For a second he thought the figure had been an apparition, or maybe hadn't been there all along, merely a figment of his tired mind. That's when his gaze shifted to the opposite side of the road and the mis-shapen entity clambering over the crash barrier. Whoever it was, they had crossed the road while Will had been in his daze, and it was now he could fully see it in it's ghastly glory.
"I must be ****** blind 'cause to me there ain't nobody there -"
Grotesque was the only word he could think of to describe it. Under the pallid glow of the sun its skin glistened sick-white, partially covered by a tattered grey t-shirt that billowed in the wind like torn flags. It wore shorts, also grey, it's long stick-like legs poking out like splintered tooth picks. And it's face, oh God that face. He only caught a vague view as it glanced over its shoulder, but what he saw reminded him of the ghouls that would creep out of the crypts, the nightmarish beings that stalked late night TV shows such as the Twilight Zone seeking fresh flesh to feast on. But it was human alright - it's normal, albeit disintegrating, clothing the only sign of its former non-twisted self.
Oh God -
"Hey, are you even listening? There ain't no one there *******!"
Will faced the guy, now stood so close his flabby face nearly poked through the window, and then back to the crash barrier. The fiend was gone, much to his relief.
"Sorry it must have been a bird or something, I'm really really sorry mate I thought it was a man, or a kid."
"Yeah yeah whatever, just get going and get out of my way." With that he stormed off, only stopping briefly to exchange disapproving looks with the car behind him. He drove a black sports-like car, probably a Vauxhall, and Will briefly wondered how such a small car could carry an overweight ******* like that.
*******, he muttered to himself as he restarted the engine. Turns out he'd let the car stall as well.
Back to school I guess, what would dear old Ruth say?
Setting off was easy, the fat guy overtook him almost instantly, slamming his horn as he went, but looking over to where the misfit had been was not. He wanted to look, to check in case it hadn't really gone away and was instead lurking, contorting it's swollen lips into a grin.
Grinning at him.
"Gooood evening listeners, this is RADIO XFM!"
Halfway down the radio finally clicked on, interrupting his line of thought - quite mercifully, if he was being honest. The sight of that thing not only made him feel uneasy, but he also couldn't shake off the feeling of foreboding as well. Like it was some sort of warning, a sign.
Of what?
[smashing glass smashing]
He didn't know, didn't dare to think, and as he cantered down the carriageway in the steady stream of traffic he sat silently, the radio singing out its tunes like an uninvited guest. It was an oldie that was on, maybe Boston or Bowie, he wasn't sure, but as it played on he sat in silence, the shadows in the car cutting harsh lines into his face.
V
Lexander J Feb 2018
V
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Valentine's a load of ****
And so are you
Lexander J Aug 2017
My head's like a fortress, I keep my thoughts shut away
my heart is a failed church whereupon I go to pray
the birds seem to float in the golden morning sky
as my eyes bleed from a sleepless night of cries

CRASH!

every castle falls, nothing but shattered memories and rubble
lies and pretence form around like a protective bubble -
I gaze at myself in the mirror with no recognition
once a beacon of strength bled dry by self-mutilation

emotions seeping out like radioactivity
ideas twisted, obscure, lacking creativity
infected by the evil I've strived to appease
anger bulging from the vaults of disease


I can't hold it anymore, my insides are imploding
(corrosive)
surviving with a fear you can taste, ugly and foreboding
(explosive)
cursing my body of scars physical and transparent
on the outside my torture is far from apparent

seeking a saviour, someone to eat away my flesh when it goes black
I'm sick, I'm dying, I just need to go back
to the origin of the despair that's tainted my whole existence
then maybe, just maybe, I can find happiness without any persistence.

*(alas, if only)
Lexander J Sep 2015
Treasure is but a wanderer's lust
seeking utopia amongst the cosmic stars
it's year 2025, humanity's golden age of technology,
and a little white spaceship sets off to colonise Mars

nicknamed Nova 2, she boasts twin light-speed thrusters
polarised windscreens and a body of pure ceramite -
with a whoosh and a deafening bang
she smashes the sound barrier and streaks through the night

[#WHAM! BAM! FLASH!#]

at twenty-two hours they pass the moon
avoid a cluster of meteorite and space debris,
venturing deeper and deeper into the abyss of nothingness
their minds awestruck, their weary souls free

faced with a darkness that was un-shiftable, heavy
the danger of this mission increasingly daunting,
the longer they ignored their fears
the more the alien wilderness became haunting

what if they suddenly stopped dead
hit a snag or ran out of power?
They only had limited supplies
and the absent sun grew hotter and hotter by the hour

with the silence incessant
the sound of their own voices was obtrusive, grating,
food disgustingly vile, water going warm,
pressure steadily rising, there were concerns of the pilot fainting

--// "CALLING ELISA STARR TO THE CABIN PLEASE." //--

Elisa Starr was the cabin's dutiful cleaner
she'd clear away the astronauts *******, and occasionally mop up their sick -
for most of the crew had adapted to the lack of gravity
alas a few individuals hadn't been as quick

only 3 months in and the air had already grown stale
smelling of faint excretion and sweat,
aching and tired, she was always wiping down the interior windows
as the condensation steamed them up wet

what was the point in coming to space to slave away
when she could just do it on Earth;
once a valued member of society, a highly respectable mother of three,
surely this gruelling slavery she didn't deserve?

-//-----//-

The glowing red sphere of Mars approaches,
their destination finally (finally!) in range -
Earth was dying and this is a chance for us to start again

but isn't it already clear that we'll never change?
Lexander J Jul 2015
This world's black, bloated and cold
it seems our God is now cracked
worthless and old

nothing cares, love ceases to exist
yet, within this cess-pit
we continue to persist

for the human race is stubborn
never one to give up -
surviving within the harshest of places
'til death forces our eyes shut

we live on massacre, feast upon woe
at one point we found happiness
but refused to let it grow

we **** our enemies, and ourselves
stock the deadliest weapons
upon supermarket and high-street shelves

we punish the innocent, worship the liars
pretty killers and fascists -
we lend a hand to simultaneously
reduce this civilisation to smouldering ashes

freedom fighters, ******, drugs
this sick infatuation with *** -

thanks, but no thanks
I don't wanna live 'cause no doubt I'll be next.
Lexander J Apr 2015
Welcome to the Physical World
where everything black is found -
shattered buildings, broken bones
and bombs buried in the ground.

It's a world rife with clichés
and violence gone amiss -
smoke lines the horizon
as death puckers up its first kiss.

Flowers growing
in waterlogged tank tracks,
hundreds of poisoned children
their breath wrought with coughs and hacks,

bloodied crimson stains
the choked gravel that was once streets,
barbed steel walls and gates, blocking
where one nation to another meets.

Welcome to the Physical World
where the gods ignore our desperate pleas,

Welcome to this ****** nation,
that has fallen to its knees.
Lexander J Apr 2015
He gazes down upon his friend,
the latter's body mutilated and shredded -
he gazes down upon his deceased companion
staring straight at the loneliness he's dreaded,

he's a fighter, a sole survivor
ignorant to the moon above that grins -
he spits upon his hands and uses them
to wash away the blood splattered across his shins,

his valentine is the death
he's avoided for so so long,
having traversed these radioactive wastelands
his conscience is weak and his hunger strong

for now he constructs a fire,
a crude make-shift grill and spit -
hacking off his comrades arm, he leaves it to roast
and for a while all he does is sit,

'til finally he tucks into his tasty meal
of human flesh, gristle and bones -
eating another person simply doesn't phase him
and for more his stomach groans,

three days later his victim's corpse
lies barren, rotting and stripped bare -
no amount of muscle, flesh or fat to be seen
'xcept for a scalp still covered with hair

- - - Silence - - -

broken by the turbulent buzzing of the flies
that feast and swarm within the fighters mouth,
his body now lay dead and rotting
about twenty miles to the south.
Lexander J May 2015
Oh what a filthy man!
So vile and besotted,
he'll get at you in any way he can.

Quite simply put;
he's nothing but a ******* -
he'll ***** you right over
and he'll always have the last word.

And there's not a lot
that you can think or say,
that'll gain you the upper hand
or affect him in any way,

for his soul is writhing
with living **** -
******* on your sunlit parade
is his childish idea of fun,

fully immature in one respect,
but completely mature in another,
he'll play with anything
be it his wife,

or his own brother.

And, yeah, there's a thousand things
I can shout, swear or say -
but there's only one word
that can truly describe him in any way;

****.
Lexander J Apr 2015
CHAPTER 1 - Part 1


The lone figure hobbled painfully down the road, one hand clasped to his bleeding thigh, the other just hanging aimlessly by his side.

He wore a filthy white shirt, the collar now dog eared and embedded with stale sweat. The baking sun bore down on his navy, army-style, jacket - burning its fabric so intensely that the colour pigments had actually started to fade, giving the whole coat a washed out purplish tinge at its fraying edges. Upon the jacket's left arm was a peeling smiley sticker, the actual curl of the paper contorting the smiley's face into a strained grimace.

The other arm was stained with blood.

"Go... go... with the flow -" He whispered quietly to himself, head hung over, cast in thick shadow by his greasy hair. With every jaunty step he took, a spurt of blood escaped from his clutching hand and dripped onto the tarmac road - where it sizzled in the sun.

He wheezed and gasped, as if his throat was lined with dry sandpaper - and yet he still whispered quietly to himself, those same words over and over again.

"Go... go... with the flow."

Fields of daisies surrounded him - their once canary yellow petals, now scorched brown; dead and lifeless. Everything dead in this world, apart from him, the punishing sun in the sky, and Death itself.

He shook his head swiftly once - for no apparent reason.

["You don't have to, babe - we can work it out!"]

"No... we... ca-n't..." He groaned to himself, shaking his head side to side, his free hand starting to twitch.

"Can't... just can't -"

A slight wind suddenly blew from the north, lifting up his mopped fringe, scantly revealing his face. His skin was sickly white, the hair only moving enough to reveal a circular scar gouged all the way around his right eye - the pupil of which, was pooled with blood.

He smiled, a lopsided grin that revealed pristine white teeth.

["No, no please - just put it down, we can sort it all out!"]

"Baby, baby, babyyy..." He spoke clearly, his tone now remarkably smoother and refined. In some eerie way it was as if he was trying not to laugh at something, the same sort of tone a school kid would use when trying not to laugh at a joke as they're getting told off by a teacher.

It was as if... well it was as if he was in his own little world, talking to a person that was only existent in his head.

["I don't care what you've done... I still love you!"]

"No you don't."

His leg continued to bleed, and the sun burned even brighter, but he stood up straight - well almost, one shoulder sloped slightly to the left side. His leg was bent at heavily at the knee, blood running in rivets down his pants.

["Jay... l-listen, j-just put it down - there's no reason for this!"]

With a flick, he shook out a seven inch carving knife straight out of his sleeve - the hand holding deadly still.

The blade glittered in the sun.

["Jay - no!"]

He lurched forwards, holding out the knife to his side and flicking with a menacing flair.

"Baby be still... just go with the flow..."

AJ
Not sure if you're supposed to post story extracts on this site, but I thought I would share this with you. The story itself never took off the ground, but I particularly like this first chapter. I hope you enjoy too...
Lexander J Apr 2015
CHAPTER 1 - Part 2

He stopped, the knife still in his hand, but now pointing to the floor. He panted, his breath now dry and stale again; the wound in his thigh now severely bleeding.

[I'm sorry]

The air was still around him, all sound ceased to exist - no wind, no shimmer of any trees, no birds singing. Only his dragging breath and beating heart.

[I'm so sorry]

"Aaaaaaaagh... aaaaaaaaghhh."

His head snapped up, jaw squared, his whole body locking down and freezing.

A few yards ahead of him, shambling along in the diminishing sunlight, was a living corpse. Its breath was also wheezy, but rattled too as the loose fluids inside its rotting body sloshed around. It glared at him with one rheumy eye, the other just a black socket - the skin torn right down to its chin. It wore absolutely no clothes whatsoever - its reproductive organs now gnarled and black. One yellowing femur bone protruded from its right leg, sticking out and bending queerly with every slow step.

"Aaaaaaaagh... aaaaaaaaaghhh."

Jay stood up, and made his way slowly towards it, yet again flicking the carving knife up and down. Blood poured down his leg; the corpse smelt it and starting to lollop towards him, attracted to his bleeding flesh like a ravenous dog.

"Like the smell, eh?" Jay roared, his voice rusty and hoarse. He started to run to it, his steel tipped boots clicking on the tarmac road as he went, the metallic sound reverberating in his ears and echoing around -

-and around-

- in his head, high-pitched and tinny, drilling into his mind in excruciating and relentless pain.

"I said - DO YOU LIKE THE SMELL, YOU SACK OF ****?!" He screamed at it, his head pounding, his own voice repeating over and over to itself. Dribble ran down his mouth - which was now pulled into a rictus-like grin, showing his teeth and bleeding gums. "Come here - have a piece of me!"

"Aaaaaaaaagh!" The corpse gnashed its mawed jaws together, the single eye wide in greedy excitement. It stumbled ever-closer to him, its calloused fingers reaching out to grasp his white shirt - to pull him closer.

And that's when he struck, bringing down the blade onto both its wrists; cutting them clean in two with a crunch. Blood sprayed everywhere; over his chest, his shoes, in his grinning face. He swept back his hair, revealing one lucid green eye - dancing with eclectic hysteria, the other eye circled by a scar, its pupil wide and pooled in blood.

Using his whole body weight, he shoved it, where it fell over backwards like a sack of stones, never putting out its hands to break the fall, merely just letting its skull smash right onto the road. It didn't stop though, carried on wriggling, holding up its severed stumps at him. He kicked them away, and dug the heel of his boots into its empty eye socket, pinning its head to the ground.

"There we are, just stay there -" He leant over, whispered right into its gnashing face, holding his knife outstretched behind him. His other free hand twitched.

"I must admit, you done me a favour coming here today." He spoke into its glazed eye, the browning eyeball swivelling round madly in its socket, as if the close proximity of Jay was giving it some sort of sick ******.

This didn't phase him, only made him chuckle darkly.

"Sometimes my mind... wanders... just like you do, come to think of it." He flicked the knife , shoving his boot harder into the corpse's socket as it tried to lunge up at his face. "I had a wife once, she didn't like it when I wandered... she didn't really like me... just my money."

A large gob of snot exploded from the zombie's nose, dribbling into its snarling mouth.

He looked at it and smiled, bringing his knife to its face and tracing a long invisible line down its forehead.

"I don't think she'd like you either... can't see why." He continued with his knife, now tracing up from the corners of the zombies mouth to the undersides of its ears. "She would always look at me when I'd returned wandering, looking at my face and frowning - that's the whole reason I would go off for night-time walks, to get away from her; to get away from the smothering ***** with all her pregnancy problems and financial qualms."

He traced a line up from the opposite corner, now completely enthralled in what he was doing, his face creeping closer and closer to the zombie's.

"She would look at my face, and then laugh, with her prissy hands on her hips and her slutty lips pursed, and she would say 'Why Jay, are you carrying the world again?' and I would frown and say 'No' and then she'd laugh and tell me to turn my frown upside down." He cracked his head back, roaring with sudden and hysterical laughter that brought a slaver of bile running out of his mouth.

He laughed and laughed, cackling hysterically, his bloodshot eyes weeping, his mouth pulled right back into a full blown rictus - the trapped zombie beneath him still smacking its jaws together, trying to bite.

He whipped right back again, staring straight into its face - his green eye now cold and calculating. The knife once again traced the corners of the zombies mouth.

"Why," he grinned, "lets turn your frown upside down!"

AJ
Lexander J Jun 2019
Song birds sing in the morning dawn
no longer waking with a tired yawn
a calm surrender of things of the past
a path forwards I can pave, at last

Who be this new man -
moving onwards rather than stand?
There's a future in his eyes I can see
for, no longer in tears, he sleeps

Grasping a star and holding it close
rather than hold onto anger, he let it go
an absence of darkness, what is this?
What, no, could it be? Happiness?
Lexander J Apr 2015
(16+)

Come sit down my child
whilst I tell you a little story,
about the son who was a wicked boy
and how he fell from glory.

It was upon a dark Sunday evening
betwixt the eleventh hour and the twelfth,
that our young boy
paid a fleeting visit to his sister, who was very ill of health.

Suffering, and weak with scabies,
pale skinned and lay bare on her bed,
thy demonic *******, was excited by her submission,
so laid her 'til she was dead.

And upon the following morning,
there was not a sound of his grieving
but that of his tired yawning,

as he put back on his clothes
wiped up the fingerprints
and carefully cleaned up her robes.

Because even he knew
that this secret little interest
was an illegal, sordid, act
of malicious ****** -

And so, seven long days after,
at the funeral he paid his dutiful respects
to the girl he'd fantasised about for countless years -

grinning sickly on the inside,
but still managing a few small tears.
Lexander J May 2016
He'd invested his heart and soul
now he wants back to where the dead wildflowers grow
unawares to how things had gone, good or bad,
uneasiness the worst yet best feeling he's ever had

one thing contradicts the other
wanting to ask but not to smother
if only he could read her beautiful, obscure mind
then he could leave all this pain behind -

oh here I stand over my kingdom of dust
embraced by pity, betrayed by trust
sitting upon the throne of isolation I wallow in drink
slowly but steadily into despair I sink

am I not good enough, am I not fair
how can I be loved when nobody cares?
Can lies ever be lies without truth
I tear at my pathetic skin, spit upon my youth

Answer! Answer! Please just reply
with every passing second my mind does cry
I'm sorry but I'm desperate, I n-need to know
need to escape this black void where the spineless grows

smiling with tears running down my face
feeling insane, a pure messed up disgrace
she's opened up the scars, salted the old wounds
my head's crazy, stagnant, bitterly love exhumed.
Lexander J Nov 2015
Snapping and cracking it moves with a clink
jibbering and jabbering beneath the kitchen sink

It backs up the pipes with stagnant decay
reeking and stinking all through the day

Exhaling self-loathing, skin milky and pale
demoniac from twisted tongue to forked tail

Feasting upon rats it swallows them whole
a creature mischievous, bloodthirsty and cold

He devours Halloweeners, then all their sweets
surprising passing strangers by yanking their feet -

"I'll yoink your tootsies, tickle your toes
then what next, uh oh who knows?!"

Last Christmas it blinded the neighbours so they couldn't see
burnt the decorations and shat under their tree

The poor little children waking up that following dawn
to bits of their grandparents spread across the lawn -

Oh I can't sleep, scared of my own home
sick of being stuck with this thing all on my own

People are dead and my moral passions to blame
my inability to **** has caused all this pain

So tonight when it crawls from its slumber, I'll be there with my gun

Oh come my sweet little demon, let's have some fun!

- The Wingle Wangle Song -

"Wingle Wangle Wyrmtail
Is a wicked little fairy -
bloodshot eyes, a grimy disguise
he doeth not scare me

Wingle Wangle Wyrmtail
Bathes in sweat and cold blood -
Sneaks into homes, steals people's bones
Separates the bad from the good

Wingle Wangle Wyrmtail
Roams all night, sleeps all day -
A blighter joyous and macabre
so happy and gay

Wingle Wangle Wyrmtail
you may dance to all the children's cries -

but beware Wingle Wangle
within a barrel lies your demise."

— The End —