We said we’d be forever
that when the others crumbled, we’d be together
a dysfunctional trio, flying upon broken wings
trying our hardest to fit into the grand scheme of things

we wreaked havoc; *****, drugs, ***
only when they ran out could we truly forget -
waking up on strange sofas, in pools of our own *****
the night before our brains pickled, our minds with the comets

with rusty needles and plastic bags we laid our hearts bare
not really knowing the dangers, and if we did we still wouldn’t have cared
for the ***** lead us to high ecstatic stardom
to the land of whispering voices and seductive secret gardens

we never had luxuries, three low-life crooks
the kind of scumbags you’d find in classic period or thriller books –
except maybe we weren’t; back then things were less formal
just three struggling youths trying to make life seem normal

you see the drugs helped us forget
those murky days bloated with confusion and disposable respect -
***** orange substances in broken needles, so exchangeable
we sat away from life and instead fell in love with the angels.

Home every night about half eight or nine
hand in hand with my latest design -
so super-sonic, he's angelic, he's demonic
my new name's feature, uh uh

sometimes the light is grainy
his face so pallid, hazy

I know he's in there somewhere, where there's no pain nor shine
oh so despotic is this thin-white-joke of mine

transmission inbound to the newly deceased
the chimes are ringing, he's been released

hopefully we'll go to the Haven where
we can be tied together -

*I know he's in there somewhere, where there's no pain nor shine
oh so platonic is this thin-white-joke of mine.

You've never been one to give up
a door to hope nobody will ever shut,
like a star in the nights sky, building your own constellation
you're my little sister and my biggest inspiration

these past few months have been the toughest we've known
but when it seems things had fallen apart and everything had gone
you still lit up the room - even knowing things will be difficult for a while,
powering on through with that infectious cheeky smile

I know I've not been the best brother
and that sometimes it's looked like I don't care,
but trust me I really do -
I just want you to know, if you ever need me I'll always be there.

A subject of a black disinterest
from the corrupted mind of perverse ******,

he's a key that's opened up my sorry thoughts
a narcissistic God that warps and distorts

a pale tyrant absent in the cold light of day
instead he leaves me only with sorrow to play
it's when the sunlight dies and the darkness consumes
that his spell awakens and fully exhumes

abstaining filthy needs I meander to the pool of obscurity
in the dark corners of the Web seemingly lies security
interacting with my dark desires, I cannot think,
from the cup of a personal Judas do I slowly drink

everyone around is dying, my ego I have hidden
everybody makes mistakes but can a God be forgiven
for unable to punish others I'm punishing myself
terrified of the future that is confusion and ill health -

if I succumb will he be merciful and grudgingly help
steal the other's pain and inflict it upon myself?

Or will he plunder my soul for my most lurid temptations
and fill my world with the void of his true destructive intentions?

The best kept secret is the fact you've never known
I've suffocated the truth but like a disease it's grown,
you're the only thing that's kept me going, but my love's taken,
tied to something that's not true and I'm breaking

funny, caring, eyes that laugh and shine
heart aching because I know you'll never be mine,
an evening star, sweet sweet beauty in everything you do,
never truly knowing how happy I am when I see you

inside I'm rotting, subjugated by my own poisonous ego
caring for what's best for me, an alien not to this world but freedom,
wallowing in self-pity and alcoholic drinks, for
some reason I've found I actually care what you think -

what is love and why do we really need it?
The greatest drug of all, romantic junkies always looking for a bigger hit,
I'm sure you'll find someone and I wish you both good luck and good health -
but please please know I still wish I could've done something else.

Pour more sugar on my wounds
in the mid of night your face still exhumes
thought I'd cut the cord, forget you exist,
but even bleeding my desire insists

inside I hide a heart of pure arsenic
the most poisonous persona, nobody denies it,
but now you've turned against me I've tasted the pain I spread,
obsessive dispositions I can't get out of my head

it's like an itch under the skin that just won't go away
I've got to have you, in every way -
thoughts of your body lingering upon my lips
a ravenous dog that just wants a kiss

the taste of your flesh, of your hair, the feel of your soft skin
this jittery malevolence that hungers within,
I'll devour your beauty, taint and manipulate your trust,
oh baby, I'm just a filthy predator led by lust.

When the moon descends and takes you in it's grasp
knowing you must go but still you ask,
swallowed by the bloated night sky, the promise of a future near gone,
but in the darkness your hope still shone

I love you, and so does everyone else
oh what I'd give to steal your degrading health
asking the Lord why, why can't he just set you free
why did he give you cancer when he could've given it to me?

I've lived 20 years of life and experienced it all,
you're only 15 and are yet to discover more,
the unfairness is sickening, unjust and cruel,
but heartbreak seems to be life's golden rule

our loving god has taken everything before my eyes
ignorant to the pain and suffering, ignorant to my mother's cries
now here I am, breaking up over pathetic thoughts and creases
as the Pariah of Death blows our lives to pieces.

*[soon to be glittering in the nights sky above, a distant world afar,
your voice singing upon the wind - good night my new killer star]