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Lexander J Feb 22
I feel so brave
Yet so scared
I look into the mirror
And something dreadful stares

I feel a sickness in my mind
Feeling feelings
I thought I had left behind

White numbness in the days
blinding fury
bursting through the haze

Nobody seems to understand
Nor seems to care
Nobody seems to realise
I'm neither here

nor there

Have you ever tried to cry
But the tears just won't come?
Ever seen a darkness
That seems to block out your sun?

Have you ever hurt yourself to feel alive
From your own thoughts
Trying, trying, trying to hide

The doubts and insecurities
They just never seem to give in

I guess maybe
Maybe

One day I'll win
Lexander J Sep 2020
Are my words too hard to swallow?
Did I offend the offense in which you wallow?
We are quick to judge, to blame those in power,
yet we break our own rules, every hour

The truth is too scary so it's not a fact,
slowly humanity dies from a heart attack -
we are oh-so-happy to believe all the lies
and yet recoil in horror as we unleash the flies

Satan's on speed dial, but he won't pick up
too disgusted with this world we've fully ******* up
fear spreads to every nation
but progress is contagious, so it's stuck at the same station

In a world when diversity upsets the masses
in a stagnant society that kisses the ignorant ***** -
What have we become, has it really been here all along?
Are we forever doomed to sing our own swan song?
Lexander J Jul 2020
If
If life was a flutter
of the wings of a butterfly
and love was the mutter
of feelings both here,
and gone by

If sadness was a kiss
on my trembling cheek
and lies were a snake's hiss,
from a barbed tonge
it speaks

If remembrance held my hand,
comforted me through the sorry nights
and if silence were a flicker
a watching angel
keeping on the lights

If my love for you could walk
it would run faster than any cheetah
and if your trust could talk
it would embrace me,
grow deeper,

If time stood more than
and caressed all that is true,
and if I am only but a man
and you are my life

well for that

I thank you.
Lexander J Jun 2020
It’s been so long
Since I’ve woken to an empty bed
It’s been so long
Since I’ve had septic thoughts suffocate my head

Your eyes so blue,
I could stare for endless years

Cutting through the fog, you make me feel
Make me feel like I’m close to tears

Once seeking comfort from those
Who closed their blinds on my twisted mind
You wouldn’t understand what I’ve been through
And the pieces that I’ve left behind

The time has finally come
To move forward and forget the past
Like the cigarettes I used to smoke
That façade is now nothing but ash

It’s been so long
One foot in heaven, one in the grave
Shackled by a pain
this lovestruck fool you’ve willingly saved

Your eyes so blue,
I could stare for all of time

The time for change is now
I am yours, and you are mine.
Lexander J May 2020
As a nation stands still
swallowed by a tide so ferocious, it kills,
as our streets, once so lively, now stand dead
held by fear, a contagious anchor of lead

And yet the birds will still sing in the morn
and the sun will still rise at dawn -
life is more stubborn than the death it evades
you just need to open your ignorant eyes, see what's at stake

We may feel seperated, anxious, alone
and there may be others who are sadly gone
but together in this blindness we will *****
for even in the darkest corner there is hope

Marvels of technology abound
there is communication all around
from letters, to video chats and phone calls
as long as we stay sensible and not panic, we will not fall

Keep your loved ones safe by keeping your distance
only venture out if necessary, ignore your selfish insistence
do you really need the object you desire
do you not care about being a potential killer liar?

Our backs are up against the wall
the selfish acts still occurring, apalls
if you do not heed our government's cries
someone else, or others, will die

The sky will still be blue in a few months time,
the mountains will still stand for us to climb,
we need to wait, relax, keep our front doors shut
for if we don't, will some of us still be here?
I fear not.
Lexander J Jun 2019
Song birds sing in the morning dawn
no longer waking with a tired yawn
a calm surrender of things of the past
a path forwards I can pave, at last

Who be this new man -
moving onwards rather than stand?
There's a future in his eyes I can see
for, no longer in tears, he sleeps

Grasping a star and holding it close
rather than hold onto anger, he let it go
an absence of darkness, what is this?
What, no, could it be? Happiness?
Lexander J Feb 2019
There you are
with your new guitar and bleached hair,
stood before
a torrent of chants that do not care

Do you sing a song of pity,
of self loathing and freedom?

Do you sing a song of lies,
of politics and deceiving?

There you stand
with shaking arms inside a designer shirt
gazing out with
a smile fastened so tight it hurts

skin unfeeling as the grand drapes start unreeling
exposing a mass of faces vile and cheating

Oh shall we lead these fans and followers,
like rats to the water?

Do we take their willing hands
and lead the lambs to the slaughter?

When humans digest so much emotion it boats their heads
'tis the seed of exploding bombs and streets that run red
infected with disillusioned beliefs and false prophets
oh what do we do when the paranoia rockets?

*******, drugs and easy friends
writing songs and music, distracted messages that fail to send -

Do we sing a song of peace,
of fair equality and proprietary?

Or shall we sing a song of truth,
of gluttony, of the ***** stain that is our society?
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