~“I’m haunted, I don’t find the poetry,
It finds me”
~Li-Young Lee

I knew then, what to call it
Walking, head down
And smoking
I could feel The Following
Pressing those points
Of bone and sinew in my back
Then slowly sliding inside my mouth
And I would be chewing it
This ghost
Turning it over with my tongue

At night
My pillow writhes with small demons
These small thoughts
With words on pitchforks
Happenstance bonfires burning
Turning
And I roll my lids over them
And observe them with closed eyes

Tonight,
I sit here, paused for him,
And wait….
And wait…..
For his familiar head to gust
Through my bedroom door

Fortune favors the wealthy,
Illness favors the sick.
Darkness favors the darkness
But which darkness do you pick?
Living wants to live,
But the reaper wants it too.
Lost was never lost
And the old was never new.
Knives long for the wrists,
Pills want to be swallowed.
The bullet wants the brain
Because the brain wants to be hollowed
Bleeding, keeps on bleeding,
'Cause the blood wants to be red.
Something special's missing
When the life wants to be dead.

You left and took my happiness with you
For the past few months I've cried myself to sleep
I am constantly questioning everything, why? Just why?
Even in my songs, and my dreams I can only weep
Everything is wrecked, and you just look at it with a sigh
Why did you even choose to say goodbye?
I sit here and wonder whose in you arms now
Hearing the bombs, the words you said erupt like torpedoes ka-pow
Oh how lucky that girl is, how so very lucky they are
I sit here and look at my heart which now deems another among the thousand scars
Seeing all those estatic people passing in those cars
Oh how I wish I could go back to that day that day when you said you loved me, that amazing day
I wish together we could have stayed
But now as we pass I don't even get a wave or a simple hey
Oh how my heart out of beat it pounds
Thus wretched music sounds

Tripping past windows,
turning to look but missing the image
(I’m going too fast)
too slow
I’ll never make it
not like this
Heart pierced
by each short, asthmatic breath
by each spastic, hazardous thought of you
I’m late
(for a very important date)
very important, even though it doesn’t exist
(this is all in my mind)
a silly dream I play out to calm myself
running down that road with a goal in mind,
a goal ready to leave at any moment
but because this is my dream
I make it all happen
(just the way I want it)
Maybe in real life, the train would pull away
ten minutes (ten seconds) before I arrive
but in my mind, I get there just in time
to wrap you in my arms
and pull you back.