Cold breeze,
Torn sleeve,
Gray hair,
Tired eyes,
Weary soul,
Warm coffee,
Wise words,
Worn out hands,
Deep wrinkles,
Sunken eyes,
Everlasting hope,
Strong intuition,
Infinite prayers,
Endless love.

You took a vow to yourself to love her all,
But today you took away the one thing she never saw coming,
She believed in your love,
Now.
All that's left
Is a faded memory.

Everyone i do right does me wrong.
Everyone i love hurts me
Everyone i believe in fails me,
Everyone  i trust doubts me,
Will this cycle end?
I am tired of holding on to hope.
Because its the only thing left.

You can never really trust anyone because they never give you a reason too.

It all started one fine day,
And it all ended that very fine day,
If I could turn around and only ask why me?
What did I do to receive all these?
All I ever wanted was for all of you to accept me,
To leave that boy next door alone,
To leave that poor boy who sits alone in class,
To leave alone that boy who's battling his own struggles behind closed doors,
That boy was me,
Looking from above right now, I wished i could have done things differently,
Maybe I should have fought back harder, defended myself more,
But how is this fair,
While I was on the floor fighting for my life, begging every second that you would stop, you still stood there striking , charging , punching, assaulting every part of my helpless wounded body.

While I lay there at my most vulnerable state, you didnt stop, each of you stood there and watched me till I bleed to my demise.

Every menacing move you made on me was satisfaction to you  but to me, It was the most agonizing, horrific and frightful last moments of my life.

What's is there left within me?
You didnt just break my bones, you broke my willpower to survive,
Did you for once stop to think, what it would have felt like to be in my shoes?
What it felt like to be at your most vulnerable state and have someone to take advantage of it with absolute zero guilt.
I'm forever shattered.
I'm forever traumatized.
I'm forever your meat to be taunted.
I'm forever broken.

While the ones to pay the price for my absence are my loved ones.
You did not just take the little boy next door's life away.
you took away his families hope and pride as they watch him burn  for the last time. With no last words from him. With no last cries to his mother.
All there is left, is my memory and my painful story that must be shared to every bully victim. For justice will prevail and all the morally upright will be vindicated.”

Have you looked at the mirror and seen yourself laugh?
When was the last time you actually had a genuine laugh?
Have you wiped someone's tears and felt their grief?
Have you taken the courage to comfort someone and say the right thing for once?
Have you tried to stop a friend from doing drugs and swallowing pills?
Have you stayed on the phone and hear someone's breathing till they fell asleep?
Have you encouraged a friend or a stranger recently?
Have you sat down and heard someone share their day?
The parts where they tell you how they messed up and regretted what they did.
The parts where they sit down and chew their last bit of a sneakers bar they kept when they had sad days?
The part where they bite their nails and shake their heads in hesitation to tell their crippling thoughts
The thoughts that may or may never bring you closer to them
The parts where they are just tired of complaining an dealing with reality
The parts where they sometimes dont have a clue what they're doing
But wouldn't it be nice someone telling them they are doing just fine?
To tell them to Keep moving on,is as simple telling a child to stop crying when he lost his favorite toy.
But aint it harder if you were in his shoes.
But every lonely night
They sit there wondering what they could have done right and how to deal another day being wrong and settling for a "okay , im fine kinda day.
Have you told someone they mean the world to you, and then discover they feel the same way or just used it to fuel their life then leave you ?
Have you felt so happy for your best friend that she finally found someone who loved her as much as you prayed for her?
Have you prayed so much to take the burdens away from your loved ones?
Have you seen a mother meet her newborn for the first time?
Have you seen a father watch his son win his first soccer tournament?
Have you seen a malnourished kid scramble over a stale bread only to save it for his dieying sister?
Have you heard a cancer stage 4 patient tell her regrets in life?
Have you heard someone's last breath for the last time?
Have you heard a woman cry when she fought one last time for her marriage over the last 13 years?
Have you even heard your father shed tears because well he was "supposedly thought to be the strong one and never to show his feelings in the family"
Have you asked the meaning of life to your grandparents?
Have you woken up early just to hear the sound of the waves?
Have you felt the comfort of a soldier returning to his family?
Have you seen the joy on a doctor;s face after a 12 hour surgery succeeds?
Have you felt the joy of a teacher when all her students made it through graduation?
Have you felt something in a long time and let that feeling linger?
Have you felt what's it like to look at all these from my eyesbut choose to stay and endurre it all?

Life is not like the movies, there are those happy endings and a lil chaos in between ,
I've learnt alot in the expanse of just being 24, yes the big 24.
To reach to this part where i am is truly a blessing,
A crossroad between embracing adulthood and saying goodbye to the 14 year old me.
But heck I never want to let go of the 4 year old me.
Its those quiet moments in your room ,
where you lay to yourself and take a glimpse of what made you, what broke you.
A step wiser.
A step closer to the harsh reality.
But guess what?
I look forward.