So simple, so easy was it to ignore all that galore
In the beginning such an easy task to complete
Knowing that every part of me resisted
In the beginning, those first few steps among the thousands of breaths
Were effortless to take, without a doubt you were easy to refuse
At some point though my steps started to amend
At some point I stopped ignoring
Because at some point, during the time between now and then
You took my breath away
Those steps became slower and harder to take
My breathing became shallow and started to change
Every bit of me wanted to resist, all the way from within
Swaying in opposite corners
Glancing all around, when you took my hand
Warmth flooded in, you let go and the slow rhythmic beating began
We danced in the middle of the room
We stood so close to each other but never touched
Like two puzzle pieces fighting against the other, twisting and turning
Never going in
Across the room we stared, people stirred and split
The dance was our sin
Looking into your eyes, I knew you were right
That this moment, this ceased part of time, beautifully enchanted for that memory of mine
The image of you there in that time, stored away, never to leave my incandescent mind
So with your eyes never leaving mine, I backed away into foreign yet familiar land
Knowing you would understand
But some part of me hoped that you would come after me
You would risk it all, no matter what
If there was a downfall or none of it worked out
You would come after me with all you had
But we were young and stupid
We were clueless about which way was up and down
Twisted and turned all around, exposed for all to see
That you and me were flawed, incapable of being
We refused in one small moment to be, to let go and live for us and us alone
So many dances came after that, so many partners to look at
Their eyes bright and glowing in the dim lighting
Their mouths formed words that could take someone’s breath away
Their bodies warm and inviting
The more we danced and swayed, the more time went by
Ticking away and I started to age in one hour, one second by minute of life
I grew old and tired, weary of all there was
That excitement no longer lived
One day in years after, I saw you again
It amazed me to see that you could still take my breath away
Still make me tremble and quake
We met in the middle of the room
You held out your hand, for a moment I paused
Wondering if this was real
I questioned, hesitated, you waited
You stood there looking at me with that same expression
I took your hand, warmth again seeped in
Closing my eyes, my body alive
Your breath mixed with mine
Forehead to forehead I opened my eyes
Yours bored into mine, took my breath away
My heart pounded in my ears, blood rushed through my veins
I wanted to resist, to pretend again
But with you pressed into me, with you all around me
I held onto you, closing my eyes
Allowing for time to stop, cease for you and me
We finally fit, come together, no one resisted
No one refused to twist and turn, but we connected
As people watched our sway
We remained in the middle of the room
The dance moved slow to the beating drums
To the pounding blood
That day, that moment stays with me
Seeing you and just being
My mind recreates the night
No longer tired and weary
That night presented me with a different life
A new memory

Days drag by
Weeks fly away
Months pass without being known
The sun comes in and out
The clouds stay
Forever unchanged
Moments leave in a blur
Scenes trail in my eyes
Uncaptured pictures negate life
Film dies in the projector
Music never heard
Books just burn
Words fail
Actions decrease


The moon comes about
The stars shine
Light passes through
Smiling to the night
Breathing in the air
The dark blanket above
Warm to the sight
Tasting new life
Words appear
Moments come back
Scenes transcend in the mind
Days come along
Weeks take their time
Months pass by
Waiting for the next day
To come …

Nothing stopped the chill at the end of my fingertips
As they swayed and danced in the breeze
My arm stuck out the window, numb to the cold air
Caring at this point was out of the question
Freedom, that in-explicit rush down in the pit of my stomach,
The rapid beating of my heart
Continued down the wide open freeway
I counted the stars as they shown over the mountain tops
Seeing them out like, no clouds covering their light
No sun to block them out, just uncovered in the night
We pulled over, holding one another
Knowing this was just the start, the beginning to the rest
As if already written above
Like a roman candle dancing across the sky
Taking the mind wherever it finds
Splashing and sparking the fire
Embers burn, that’s the moment I remember most
He and I, nothing else except the breeze and the lights
The soft gasp of air, the heat from the flame, the tenderness in the touch
Closing my eyes, I dream of the night
I relish in the feeling, the lost, nowhere to be found, pleasant feeling
All over, I felt it, capturing my body in an embrace
Squeezing ever so gently, tenderly, holding me secure
Under the stars, experiencing the warmth
Nothing ever compared to that, not the feeling of freedom
Or the breeze against the fire, or the cold numbness to my fingers
No words could depict the feeling I had when I was with him
Out, in the middle of nowhere, no one to tell us this is wrong
That what feels so wonderfully right, isn't
So covered by night, by all the lights, we can reverie and dream
We can say those words lost in our minds
We can feel every emotion inside
Thinking this is wrong not right
Whispering secrets, laughing all night, holding each other tight
That feeling of knowing, knowing this is alright, this is ours to protect
To see through to the very end
No one crossing over to step between
It’s our freedom to be
Living for that, that and only that, that one and only explainable feeling
Believing in it, trusting it, allowing it to grow, and knowing it was ours
And not for some show, just ours, under the shining spheres
With the fire, blinding light, sparks floating up to the sky

You waited as did I
For the moment we both knew was right
But maybe there was no moment
Which we were both meant to live in
A moment where everything felt perfect
Enveloped in nothing but bliss
I think you and me waited too long
For something that was so wrong
Yet it felt alright
To wonder if I’d be the one
Who could break all your barriers
Tear down the wall that kept you prisoner
I waited for you to say something
Anything would do
But you can’t take all the blame
Because I didn't say anything to you
Maybe, just maybe we’ll see each other again
Somewhere down the line
And I’ll look at you and know
You were the one who broke all the stones
Off my wall
You were my everything and all
Maybe one day I’ll say it to your face
That I loved you more than grace
I see your eyes and cry
Because I know at one point
They stared into mine
The thought of it happening again
Blows my mind
So if I see you once more
Tell me this is the end
There’s not an anymore

I want to tell you a story
One that you’ll remember
A long time ago, I had dream
Wrapped in flowers and scents
A tree stood in the middle with red and white ribbons
Playing leaves
They flowed in the wind
A softness displayed
Wind made the grass roll like waves
You could almost hear music
Eventually, those ribbons fell from branches
Landing on the sea
Slowly, they morphed into beings
They began to dance
Red and white becoming one

Shots rang out, red splattered down
Pale faces surrounded me
A sea of dead bodies
Shaking and trembling
Mourning the loss of those who stood and fought
The cold rain froze our skin
Making it numb like so many other things
But sometimes when it rained; it felt nice
It ran down the neck, over the spine, causing the body to shiver
You knew you were alive then
And maybe not well, but alive and breathing

The images played a million times
Never once leaving the mind
The glazed and open eyes of those who had fallen behind
The blood lost and spent again and again
Maybe it was the dream that kept me going
Every night those ribbons came alive
Danced in the moonlight till dawn
Until the shouts woke me
On the move once more
Believing the end was near
A time to begin
To live again
More time went by
Winters came
Summers passed
As leaves changed
And the grass became green again
The sky would open up and reveal the sun
How warm it could be
But it was in that same bright light
That the crimson shined
As we passed over more land
The grass becoming higher and higher
Reaching waist deep in a sea
Flowing in the wind, I thought of those ribbons
How calming they were to me
Chiming soft tunes in that lost mind
I claimed was mine
My best bud would laugh at me
Calling me girly
For dreaming of such things
He would always say
Why don’t dream of women and me
I couldn't tell him to get his mind out of the gutter
We were in one
So I shrugged it off like none
Months turned into years
He still stood by watching idly sometimes
Then is when I thought he sees it too
Those ribbons in the wind
Leaves to the dead tree limbs

One night…..
I remember seeing him lying there
Recalling the cold rain running down my neck
The salty taste on my lips
The trembling and shaking and regret
No ribbons danced that night
No sleep ever came
But not long after that
A plane took us all away
A train whistled and brimmed to an end
A car slowed down on gravel driveway
The field led me through a sea of grass
To that oak tree
Where I saw her reading
She looked up
A grin broke through
Tears rimmed my eyes
As she ran to me
In her hair, those red and white ribbons dancing in the breeze
She slammed against me
I clutched her blue dress, tight in my hands
Red, white, and blue
So proud, so true

Years have passed since I saw you last
You look about the same
But I can see you’re different
You've changed
Your eyes are alive again
I want to know her name
Know the woman who made you breathe again
I don’t know what to say
Tell you all the things that have happened since then
You smile but I see it diminish at the sight of my ring
I twist my hand uncomfortably
You start to speak
When he comes running up, calling my name
Your green eyes watch mine
I notice the dullness in your eyes
For a split second before they revive
You wait for me
To speak, break, tell you everything
But you know me or you did
Before—back then
He calls me once more
Reaching for my hand, tugging and pulling
As you glance at my little one
You kneel down
Smile and introduce yourself
Shy and reserved he is
But the words you speak
The first I receive
He looks just like his daddy
I close my eyes for a brief moment
Letting the guilt wash away
Because I know how much has changed
When you ask his name
That smile shadowing your face
Will be gone the moment I say his name
A reminder of all that has occurred
The results, the aftermath
You were my friend
Someone I could share the world with
Together we were
But I left you devastated
Ties broken, tears shed, blood spread
Words were never for me
But I know I could have said more
Because so much pain has transpired
Weighed between us
Weaved in a broken sea
Desperate and clinging to life
To breathe
But that was before—then
Now, I see
I understand your feelings
So I tell you I’m sorry
Acknowledging that will never be enough
Never account, never round to the right being
I’ll pick him up and tell you goodbye
Hopefully for the last time
We’ll depart, go our separate ways
When my son asks who that man was
I’ll stare into his brown eyes
And tell him
He was an old friend of mine