Not understanding why people make the choices that they do. Why aren't the consequences weighed beforehand? Why can't we understand that our choices don't only affect us? Why do we lie? Why do we steal? Why do we skate around the truth with our "little white lies?", when they turn into something dark and ugly. Because sometimes honesty isn't the best policy. And sometimes the truth won't set you free. Not at first. "it'll get worse before it gets better." But when will it ever get better? Will I always have to expect the worst? Why must the ones you love the most be the ones who hurt you the most? What do I do when I can't be sure that my best friend will ever come back to me? Not just my best friend but my first friend. My only friend for the first 13 years of my life. The only one who defended me? The only one who understood me and my weirdness. The only one who could provide the comfort I so desperately sought? Why can't you choose us? Why can't you choose me? Just this once? Just this last time? I would still choose you even though you've let me down, insulted me, disappointed me, pushed me away when I stood by you, and cut me out of your life. You didn't choose me and now I've been left to pick up where you left off. I've become the provider, the comforter, the support, and the love for these 4 you've left behind. Y.es the 4 you left behind. I am one of the left behind. I am one of the ones that loved, stood behind, and supported you. But why me? Why must I do it? I am an adult but I am just a child. I am a child in an adult body and I have been forced to care for a family before my time. I never wanted people to depend on me. Because I know I've got good and bad things from you. Such as my eyes, my ears, my lips, and my smile. But also my lies, my ability to disappoint those that love me, and the way I can say such hurtful things and go to sleep and wake up wondering why everyone is so mad and disappointed in me. And after all I've endured from you and the wrath you brought upon our family, I would still let you choose me. Even when the others won't