led by a heart bisected by a decision
i have found myself here, in your room
months ago
i would not have imagined this
leaving all i knew behind, and you, leaving everything you never wanted
(i'll remove your sadness if you

well


uh

if i ever breathed that i was ready to depart,
"true love" would deter me
Truelove would bring the weapon)

i'm not sure if it is due to our unique complication, our telepathic link, or our pathetic need for reassurance from one another.
it could have something to do with your observational skills in a bedroom corner,
or maybe relating to my constant wandering eye.
whatever it may or may not be,
we have learned that it cannot be ended when we are clothed in v-necks with ripped collars and **** mrs. claus costumes.

if we both are bipolar, then at least we understand.
if we both can separate ourselves, why can't we separate each other?
(we just can't seem to keep our masks off all the time)
how can we go from our lowest lows to our highest highs at the drop of a fedora?
this time the puck is in my zone
shot on goal!
i'm sorry to disappoint
but i can't make the save.

7 and one half years ago
you were in my room
and i was on my computer.

i wrote the password to log in, but i
made a mistake because i was nervous
and i backspaced all of it.

you noticed.
you said "i do that too when i mess up"
i didn't realize at the time, that i would remember that about you

and my birthday party.  you were the only one
to show up
and my dad made you listen to ICP,
i'm still sorry about that.

i haven't forgotten any of it



i wish i could think about you without hating myself

i had another dream about you and

i miss our nothing

you called me at 7am
and i still don't know why

~i tried too hard~

I feel love surrounding me
Approaching me from all sides
Inside this very state, in Kansas, across in California
& I'm just here in my living room

I guess it doesn't matter whether or not you're related, or if you speak every day- this is what family is, shown through little texts, application fees, or even a handwritten letter.

Pulling out of the drive through, trying to turn left.
Look left, clear.  Look right, busy.  
Wait for right,
waiting waiting.
Clear, pull through.  

"WAIT! Don't go"

slam on breaks

sit partly into intersection

i place my hand on your knee,
i see you trying to swallow, hoping i don't notice while you giggle half-heartidly in attempts to trick me.

"That would have been me....."



"can we not..."    as I try to make you feel better.


2 hours later i sit on your bed reading A Thousand Splendid Suns as you play some game (???) on your computer.  

Skullcandy earbuds followed by a prehistoric lamination machine, much like this poem.

laminating those moments within my plastic sheet-brain