As I lay here in my bed
          I've decided
I'm going to rid these voices from my head
          Or die trying

Laughter is the best medicine
Except when you've been faking it for 2 years
Then laughter becomes the best disguise
And sooner or later
You won't remember what a real laugh even feels like

I know people care
that's not the problem you'll see,
It's just people care but don't share
there feelings for me

Or maybe people haven't noticed,
maybe people haven't seen,
maybe people just turned a shoulder,
at all the marks carved into me

I wished someone would realize
and come and save me.
But I know it doesn't work like that,
Once people notice they usually flee.

When I'm standing here all alone,
after I've beaten myself to the bone,
Id just like someone to say
"I love you, I want you to stay"

But there's no one here for me on my last fateful day

Everyone thinks I go to bed at 10
Little do they know that's when I awake
The real me, inner me, little voice inside my head that can't be hushed
all come out to say hello
Screaming and filling my head with terrible thoughts
It's in these next hrs that my friend comes to visit, my blade
The type of friend who you don't have to say anything to, he just understands
Helps me cope with the stress, loneliness, and numbness I feel  
I'll bleed out all my secrets and he's there to listen, never missing a drop
In the morning my friends will still be with me, just quieter, whispering,
But tomorrow night they'll be back loud and clear and we will talk again

I itch to get out of my house
I need a distraction
I try and run from my thoughts
But I can't do it by myself
I itch for you to listen
I need you here with me
I run to the one person I have
But your going to bed
I itch for the pain to leave
I need some help
I run to the blade
But this is the last time
I itch for relief
I need to leave
I run to welcome my death

I was smiling but not happy
I was alive but not living
I was a body who had lost it's soul
I was at the point of no return
I was already dead
I was dead long before I pulled the trigger

I should've never let you in
But i did
We should've just stayed friends
But you became more
I shouldn't have kissed you
But I was selfish
I needed someone who understood
And you did
But you knew to much, understood to well, I couldn't let you in anymore
So I pushed you out and far away