I hear my own words
echo in my mind
it's my inner self
so blind
can I...
live with my inner self?
survive?
(I'm nor in peace or at war
I'm not covered with needles,
or belong to the beadles.)
so, i guess i could
(the fun)
(the insanity)
but i won't
I'm not one

I
I juggle with shades and figures and also skulls
Vicious and virtuous
Sinister and righteous
Vile and saintly
And that goes on and on and on
Countless shades that conceal the sun and quaintly
Also the mournful moon withdrawn
Multitudinous figures who speak and screech
And conjure from the vessel adrift of humanity
Myriad skulls with freedom of speech
Or wouldn't they be inhumanity

There is insanity in my sanity

I like to be in the drift
To go with the flow
To be unattached of enlist
For lost causes and “shows”

There is insanity in my sanity!

I like to sail more than a smidgen
To grasp and see the proper bliss:
From fear comes religion
From insanity comes questionings, comes this

Oh, yes! There is insanity in my sanity!

II
I keep juggling with my depth and core
Hopping from one to another
Cautiously not to let any of them drop for
The stream of existence or it will be smothered
And I’ll lose my sense of course
Leading me towards my martyr
Wave by wave sinking my vital force
Until the border of overwhelming disorder
That is imminent but in slow-motion
For I’ve yet an entire ocean
To sail across before I diagnose if I’m:


The death of my hero
Or
The hero of my death
?

III*
Sound waves of a drifting symphony
Leads me to where the curious compass points
For I'm a sailor simply for another epiphany
And to inscribe the momentum with paints
Of memories of a posterior I
Ready to retry
Indeed I sail through an immaterial hour
For I'm a sailor until the idyllic harbor
That arises in the unending horizon

I

sit, wait and see
put a mask and speak
around a round table drinking black tea
uncensored words I seek

but

there are clouds covering my far away mountains
I wish I had the strength to blow those clouds
to let sun shine on my far away mountains
I wish I had, on my own, the power of crowds.

I enter my shell and close the door
No exchange of energy
No exchange of matter
Expertly self-search and lore
It’s a quarantined route
Gathering pieces that shatter
The outside is mute
The inside is deafening
Reckoning dilemmas
Disentangling dilemmas
Accepting dilemmas
I                    and                   I              and                  myself
All my selves
Reading books from my inner shelf
Words written with my ink
I blink                                       I blink                      and again I blink
I realize the wholly interlink
I sense the web of tears
I see the web of cheers
The web of regrets
Those past sweats
The now is past
There’s a fresh now
I smoke a cigarette
That's past and there's a new now
A present absent of digress
A present fueled by recognition
Recognition of a web which confess
That I am one
Revealing a tone of ambition
That I once swore I would roar for the soul
This is me opening the door

We born to live
But all we do is survive

We grow playing with dreams and hopes
In a beautiful and unknown world
But the more we grow the more we know
And that's the closest we get to dreams and hopes

The defaults of beauty shapes
We all learn like apes
But to see beyond aesthetics of guise
It takes more than a simple pair of blue eyes

There's a phony order
There's a deceiving system
All I want is a truthful disorder
All it takes is the apes to gain wisdom

We born to live
But all we do is survive**
Some arrive for thrive
and some arrive for strive...

Sitting in the cold metal bench
Shivering, I wait for the train
I watch people come, then blench
I hear some guy calling Jane
I see a face, a lost young face, crying
I listen to a mystical men playing violin
In the dark left corner of the station
Weeping a deep melody about lying
This...ah...sedation?
I... I watch,
I... I hear,
I see,
I listen but I've only been
Here for a fraction of a second...
(I reckon)

The train is coming
The ground is shaking
Please view me
Please dye my soul
I've no control
The answers? The questions!
The questions that lead to wandering
Pondering the suggestions of answers
Am I invisible?
A spectrum of light unseeable to human eye?
A slave of the soul?
What role?

Reset!

Set!

and go...

I'm suddenly in a train, no woe
Sitting in a warm bench
Snug and no pain
With no clot of revenge
Someone pulled the plug
I feel...disconnected of...??
Memories?
Reflections?
Wonders?
Brrrumm!!
Thunders in all directions
Ripped from above the numb
I've no control
Am I a slave of the soul?
A spectrum of light unseeable to human eye?
Invisible?
The train stops!
and the curtain drops.

Getting deeper and deeper
Almost near the reaper, I write:
Getting darker and darker
I notice how brighter is the light
Reaching the bottom of this bliss
Like a bomb tearing everything apart of my sight
Drinking from the fountain of my wisdom
Made me feel like jumping off a moutain, so slight
While peering into the abyss
I didn't even thought of daring
For how deeper and darker it was
Past that, to dare, it's like a soul kiss
I might take a pause, get caught in the bay of reason
Until my body appears on shore, next to the pier of treason