Razor blade wishes,
Torn from cracked lips.
A self-destructive elegy,
Whimpered with resignation.

Cries for redemption,
Fall silent when they matter most.
All smiles and jokes,
When everyone can hear.

There is darkness within,
And my Sentinel is gone.
Hope bleeds from my heart,
as I walk my life alone.

When I was young you told me not to touch the fire,
Or I would burn my fingers.

That was a long time ago and you failed to warn me,
That people have fire inside their souls as well,
And theirs is more enticing.
It is more dangerous,
Than a paltry candle flame will ever be.

I contain infinities,
Endless oceans,
Limitless heavens.

I am a meadows of flowers,
Wizened trees bent against brutal winds,
Tempestuous volcanoes and storms.

I am a secret wish whispered at twilight,
A scrap of hope tossed away at midnight,
A blazing dream become reality at dawn.

I contain infinities,
But everyone is content,
When I tell them I am just,
okay.

I remember your eyes in shades of brown,
Blended with a graceless brush
Into painless anonymity.

I remember your hair as a mass of lines,
Ruled and drawn in stuttered strokes
That no longer mean a thing to me.

I remember your smile as a flash of white,
Imprinted upon faded polaroids
In caustic sprays of ink.

I remember the blankness,
The raging torrent of icy fire,
That burnt its way into my soul
With a bitter bite.

I remember the comfort of the floor,
And the echo of the slam,
That's still ringing through my mind.

I hide my thoughts, I hide my strengths.
I carry this disease, the weight of the Holy Ghost.
God, can you hear me? God is missing.

This is it, I tell myself. This is the moment I have been waiting for.
The moment where my colours burst, the instance where the waves crash.
But I am wrong, I cannot move.  It's me against myself.

I can only hope that God is listening.
Is He listening?

(c.m.h)