"Is it a sin to forgot reality with all its sorrows and disappointments that heavy ones self down, all the memories they dear to haunt in brood day light, standing tall not afraid to hide anymore, is it a sin to pass by with no regret on ones shoulders, walking away immune from all that wanted to swallow ones self hole, my darling I'v been this way for so long and sadly with time I've been narrow with the words I speak, how emotions go through our veins are all logic now, how pain affects the mind and souls are just stories now, I'm a mess I know that before I even met you, you thought you would fix me, oh my darling you can't fix what has never been broken, this is the way I was designed my darling, blood flowing through my hallow veins to keep me breathing until the time that I'll go back to the earth that is where we are all connected, I carry my self day by day walking through memories that souls care deeply for, they would lie and promise to die for another, I walk by observing what goes around me, I pay much attention to details studying how the paint brush moves to create a fascinating painting, how the sky dances carelessly with blue pink violet shades than the  stars follow to play, I wonder upon the trees that go deep down into the soil, how the vines are so similar to our veins they continue to grow so all have green leaves to shelter, that's where I make my memories, you see my darling I'm not wrong for I have my own view of what I see, I choose only to be drowning in my own dark sea"

"What do you do when your worlds come crashing starting to fall apart

What do you think when you see your dreams shining in your sky suddenly drop at such a frightening site

Shes been asked so many questions and she gives no answers only holds with in

She's been walking on thin air alone
Guiding her self through infinity, she's been so far away from all that can be touched

I see her gazing at the darkness and in her arising stare so proud, head held up high though all that she's been fighting for slipped through her finger tips like grains of sand

She know that all she need is a spark that would guide her through  

Ones she was empty  yet her mind was a mad running revere filled with life, beauty and fantasy that she's been hiding so well from existence

She knows The wold is selfish and naive yet she carries her self gloriously and pried with every stork she took filling her canvas

In the way her fingers move with her eyes lining the sketch she's madly in love with all I could see was passion

I see her walking across a nerow rode that's made out of roses, thorns and stone

Been driven by an image that She only can see so clear in a mixture of nightmares and dreams

She knows where the path will lead
A rare talent not everyone comprehends indeed

She has no words only wings of gold that paint the dark sky when she's sowers as a masterpiece"

"I'v been dancing in sin for a while now,
and I'v forgotten how the touch of a kind soul feels like,

I like strange women to be exact, I love the way she moves gauzing at every inch of her body like a painting admiring every stroke of art,
Though all I see is beauty I crave perfection,
I ache for power that would break down my walls than pin me on it, make me drown in her ora, sadly something is always missing in halo beauty, wanting to see the beauty in the way she thinks,

tell me where your thoughts drift too when I touch you,

I'v been dancing in sin for a while now,
Craving imperfections that would match my own,
you could be the Devil that would want to dance again, you can't fool me it would be fun to see you try, I see it in your smile, in your lusters eyes, I feel it in the way we dance my darling, acting like an angel so let us see what you're really made of maybe I'll be mistaken for ones in this life time"

"following the trials on your body guiding me through a life that you hide,
maps of the roods you've been through,
knowing every inch of your glories naked soul,  
I read the stories that you never tell,
with every mark every scar
Deeper and deeper you pull me in,
a beautiful tragedy you never knew you were,
you try to pull away but wanting not too,
and when you're arching your back telling me that all what I read is true,
leaving me wanting to explore every part you never shown,
you'll let me see I know you will
that beautiful tragedy you hid so well.."

"I'v been feeling empty for sometime now
Tried to stay in a place that I knew it's not for me
Been afraid of moving on to a different life that many wouldn't try to live
I don't feel like i belong here

Many would say pack up your things and leave it all behind
See I can't do that
It's hard

Contacted by blood that I can't wash off
I know they would leave me behind
And I know I should find my self a safe house
My own blood would shoot me down for there own lust

Why..
Why can't I leave
Wanting to leave a life it's become a wish
Looking out the car window
I know I'm not meant to be here
So much has changed the last 3 years
It's kind of a transition

Fear is controlling my steps  
Walking forward is scaring me
Leaving ordinary isn't for me
Always in the clouds
Not caring about anything
But
The blood line
That is rushing through my veins
Is poison
Pulling me down
Can't feel my own soul
There sounds crashing throw me
Going deeper
Until  I can't hear my own thoughts anymore

It's horrible to feel that your strong to reach the stars but waded down by blood line

My body each's for perfection
I'v let go of the past but it still keeps haunting me in my nightmares

Speaking in tongues I can't blame them they can't hear me screaming"

"It doesn't have to be black or white, the gray area of us is most certainly comfortable why discuss details about our dark souls that anyone could runaway from, darling my darling you wouldn't like it if my demons come out to play so let us be where we are now with no tears or promises to keep, be your kind soul that makes me laugh when I'm about to shade a tear be the light in our forgotten space, be the star that we would run to when it's all cold and gloomy, darling my darling I crave you deeply and hopefully that wouldn't change, you wouldn't stay if you know that my naked corrupted soul you wouldn't want to take my hand and walk through hell, I'm not the kind to believe kind sweet words you see so darling my darling don't take a chance with me, stay in our gray area believe me it's better in between, I won't cry on your shoulders I won't tell you my deepest secrets I won't want anything less or more, don't wish for something that could **** you my darling oh my darling"

"thoughts of life are clouding my view again, it has never been easy to let go so why would I start something real again, fake smiles to get what they won't, empty promises using trust though it's been died for so long, now a days walking on glass so I can maybe feel again, it's been a while since I'v been on my addiction thinking that it's a part of me now, opening up to some stranger wasn't ever my thing, the power around me feeding the empty cold space burning through my veins was a high I crave an additional information to who ever might be reading my words perhaps seeing life in its true form would help a lot, better than panting a dream that would die easily why bother to read why bother to crave why always thinking that there's a bigger plan, I enjoy my carvings oh darling I do why stop when it's all domed"




-2:33 AM

"a cigarette is the only thing that would die for you and **** you at the same time, that's a feeling I crave the most"

"I want to be in your arms tonight, feeling your heart beat close to main, falling asleep in your bed again, time is moving slowly and I'm starting to crave you my dear, we parted sadly with a smile planning to meet again, I made you promis and with the warmth of your touch I knew that I will see you again, I don't know why but I feel safe between your sheets, your heavy breathing on my neck, the way you look at me I see beauty and I can't believe, if it's a moment let it be, I've always been afraid of being close, people come and go that will never change, so let us live in our moment that I'm happy to share with you, be safe and return to me my darling I'll be waiting under your sheets"

"I had this pretty painting 
Filled it with her smile & roses,

Thought I could read her like a story book 
I was wrong to imagine it wasn’t real
,
All her story’s laughs & giggles filled my painting with beauty,
She was all in my head did think that she didn’t feel what she said,
My painting became dark & gloomy 
I was alone after I shared my thoughts,

Couldn’t control my brush so angry,
for expressing my empty thought,
I wasn’t in love with her at all,
She was afraid to let me in so was I
being to protective of my walls
,
But I can’t lie I’d smile every time she would smile,

That’s all I wanted in my painting 

I started my painting with her happy thoughts her lyrics her smile,

But she couldn’t see me beautiful as the moon & stars at night,

She couldn’t see pass the broken heart that she carries,

She couldn’t see me,

She made me feel nothing,

So I walked away 
packed my brushes and paints
,
Stood up to see if she would hold me down & say what would calm me down,
I needed a friend in this world to see the beauty in me,

But she didn’t say a word 
So I walked away,
with my beautiful honest clear painting,

Smiling for I knew she we’ll find her own other & be happy, 

My beautiful glorious painting,

I’m burning the painting now.."

“you were so perfect, an Emperor who deserved to be worshipped, you made me feel power in the way you carried yourself, you made me feel beauty in the way your eyes would follow me across the room, you took my breath away with every touch, you made me feel passion and desire, that all faded away, now I know that was all an act, you’ll do that to someone new, I saw you they way I hoped you would see me, in my eyes you were an Emperor, but now you’re like any other person and I don’t think I can see you the same anymore”