Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

          The New Pastor Threatens the Congregation with Guitars

Our new pastor has visions, dreams beyond the stars
At Mass last week he informally presented
This suggestion: a choir. And guitars
But peace will still obtain, tho’ that twanging jars -
Guitars in church are why ear plugs were invented

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

        The New Pastor Threatens the Congregation with Guitars

Our new pastor has visions, dreams beyond the stars
At Mass last week he informally presented
This suggestion: a choir. And guitars
But peace will still obtain, tho’ that twanging jars -
Guitars in church are why ear plugs were invented

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                                        Icetrooper

Dear Icetrooper,

When you go home at night (perhaps to pray)

Does your daughter look up to you and say,

“Daddy -

How many crying children did you drag away

Away from their handcuffed moms and dads today?”

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                             The Toenail Clippers of Damocles

He who would sit upon a throne of power
Reigning his people from the sovereign’s seat
Let him not neglect in a careless hour
To practice good hygiene upon his royal feet

For suspended above him by a horse’s hair
CLIPPERS, which through and under his toenails pass
Thus beneath that weapon hov’ring in the air
He is cautioned not to be a horse’s (posterior)

And so reposing upon his royal couch
Let not the king be heard to whimper “OUCH!”

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                        Laundry Day - The Solemnity of All Stains

The washing machine baptizes our busy days:
A shirt freshly stained with this morning’s coffee
Wrinkledy tees in grimy greens and greys
A child’s blue jeans all sticky with toffee

Dish towels we allowed to get old-food smelly
A nice dress sock on which the puppy peed
Blankies from the couch in front of the telly
The terry-cloth that toweled the shaving bleed

To the laundry room where all these wreckages convene
There to be made all fresh and bright and clean –
Thus
Let us give thanks for the washing machine!

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                         A Gold-Tone Case for Business Cards

A gold-tone case for business cards that read
“(Something) Enterprises Unlimited”
An address that included the word “Suite”
Which was only a bedroom with a folding table

A telephone number that no longer exists
Which never rang a number that no one ever called
And a dead-end @aol.com
For a business that was only a dream

Buried in a suit from the 1980s
The Men’s Store at Sears – The Classic Collection

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office


                    Will CBS Now Broadcast from Fox Studios?


          Every morning the editors of the Berlin daily newspapers and    
          the correspondents of those published elsewhere in the *****
          gathered at the Propaganda Ministry to be told by Dr.
         Goebbels or by one of his aides what news to print…

            -Shirer, The Rise and Fall of the Third *****, p. 245


CBS is now as obedient as Fox
Who would have imagined? Who woulda thunk?
Government agitprop on every Orwellian box -
Shoveling deep rund into our funk