Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office


             If the President of South Africa Were to Visit My Home


                               “The contingency is remote, sir.”

                                        -as Jeeves would say


If President Ramaphosa were to visit us at home

(I hope he would ask us to call him Cyril)
We would offer him cookies and coffee and tea
And the best chair in the living room
Does he like dachshunds and Wodehouse and Shakespeare?

If President Ramaphosa were to visit us at home

We would show each other pictures of our children
And brag about their accomplishments
I’d like for him to see my little garden
The cherry tomatoes aren’t quite ready, though

If President Ramaphosa were to visit us at home

(The bathroom is down the hall, second door to the right)
I would be pleased if he admired my small library
He might give us his favourite recipe
We’d give him a sack of blueberries fresh off the bush

When we wave President Ramaphosa good-bye
I hope he will remember us with fondness

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office


                                           Died While Trying

                                  (prompted by an idea by Nagi)


                     “Every day you play with the light of the universe”

                                                 -Neruda

          
The glory of killing an old man already dying
Is heralded by the clinking of colorful medals
As a president is helped into his Mercedes
By white-gloved lieutenants wearing golden aiguilettes

The old man dying in his bed was a challenge to evil
Through the love-letters of freedom he wrote to the world
Ambassadors of hope that could not be recalled
Just as a subtle injection cannot be withdrawn

A flowering of ideas in verses freely exchanged
Crushed beneath boots polished by frightened houseboys

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                 Blueberries Ripening in Love

A blueberry bush
Clusters of little blue orbs
Maybe tomorrow?

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                   “I am Going to Call for a Major Investigation…”

                             -Our Red Queen on Truth [sic] Social


In Wonderland a new oppressive conjuration -  
His name is Major Investigation
Sent at our screaming queen’s instigation
To drag us all down to her police station

Beginning with Kamala, Oprah, and Bono
For somewhat disapproving of him – oh, no!
The Major will punish their laissez-majesto -
In the name of freedom their heads must go!

(But of course the irony in all this biz
Is that their heads are even larger than his)

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                                Stop Running

                                                   1 Kings 19

Stop searching. Hold still
Rest now under the broom tree
And He will find you

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                       If It’s On The InterGossip It Must Be True

At all costs much the gift that keeps on giving much now let’s see there was this little German man with the moustache now what was his name oh yeah much oh wait much breaks cover much everyone is saying jaw-dropping much I’m a professional this is what you need to know much what REALLY happened much is strong in this one much game changer much secret **** gold train found much Amelia Earhart found much Jimmy Hoffa’s false teeth found much Gilligan’s Island is a secret Chinese army base much Elvis’ secret diary found much Marilyn Monroe and Walt Disney’s secret affair much the secret cure doctors don’t want you to know much apocalyptic glamour much chilling much shock scandal much stuns Wall Street much iconic much absolutely shocked trans nepo baby much dictator’s playbook much outrage fake alarm shock bombshell worst dressed much Meghan & Harry much packs on the PDA hellhole much gender reveal steamy toned abs much breaks silence much oh wait much firebrand much game changer there I fixed it for you much *** meet kettle much stay in your lane much across the pond much lives rent-free in his head much potentially much just sayin’ much? powder keg much ticking time bomb much cue the whatever in 3…2…1…much iconic much biblical proportions much LOL much books banned from the Bible rediscovered much secrets of Alcatraz rediscovered much Russia’s amber room rediscovered much ***! much ptsd much jaw dropping jaw dropping jaw dropping jaw dropping jaw dropping much much much

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                  Bring Me the Head of Peter Rabbit

My little dog has gotten into the habit
Of dining at dusk on delicious rabbit

Last night she blitzed past me as I opened the door
And left me a gift on the bedroom floor

I blinked when I saw at the foot of the bed
With its eyes still open – a poor rabbit’s head

Luna-Dog looked up and pawed at my knee
As if to ask, “Aren’t you proud of me?”

I reminded her gently (no need to fume)
That we take our meals the dining room