that's not it it
what i want
i just...
what it's like!
not to be told
but to know
to experience
as mine, mine!
never changing
always...
what I want.
what they have.
assuredly worthless
philanthropy
i am
you don't
didn't, won't.
mine.

all mine.

he cut the orange into halves
reveling the deep crimson flesh
tilting his head

"vould you like halv"
he asked
thick accent, warm and sticky

"i didn't expect it to look
well..so much like
****** flesh"

he cupped his hand around one half
and stood slowly from his chair
"blood?"

he walked over,
measured steps
and came to my back

turned the orange over
as a smile played
at the edges of his lips

and squeezed

the ruby liquid hit my hair
turning the blond red
and silently down my face

"like sis?
blood, yes?"
as the first drop hit my chest

clink clink clank cling ding
ding-ding clack
ding ding clink clink clack

masquerade
pianissimo charade
heart strings pulled taught
by a known gentleman
transformed into an unknown savior

flying faces
other worldly in expression but not intent
all are drawn blankly lustful
craving distinction from
a sea of flamboyant feathers
stretched personas

masquerade
freedom is her trade
the light in your eyes
the corners of your lips
for a mask
and a fanciful freedom
alive in compartmentalized limits

clink clink clank cling ding
ding-ding clack
ding ding clink clink clack
ding ding

the song masked musicians play
isn't a song at all
but  a simple masquerade

they search for a cure for cancer
the disease that takes so many souls
but who is looking for the cure for love
that in the end will **** us all

cancer may ravage our bodies
but love does this to our minds
and our minds control our bodies
love leaves only aftermath shells behind

cancer claims its victims
tortures them then bids them peace
but no one has ever died of love
without a stab wound at least

love can also cure
and we shouldn't regret
that without love the people who die of cancer
they would be too easy to forget

:)

i need this time of mine
to think, to feel, to act (irrationally)
intertwined between me and you
and what we're destined to do

am i a formidiable enemy?
a legitimate opponent?
or do you choose me
to ruin me?

is there up, is there out?
having prowess no one doubts
when circles bend to squares
under the power of my stare

mystical conversation
intrusion on the convenant
between believer and air
impregnated by unwavering faith

o nata lux de lumine

a pattern that commands
with no physical body
but that of notes
fed by black blood

o nata lux de lumine

in exultation revered
in sacrosanct fear
assured, drawing near
eternally trapped in song


this light born of light

she said

"biology is ruthlessly cold, without a soul,
it makes you think
your only purpose in life....

is to reproduce"

but isn't that it?

that's the point.

to be blinded by biology, psychology.
neurotransmitters.
into reproducing happily with a partner.

someone to gently
warm you with their hand's caress
until death makes you both cold?

i remember the days,
i stumbled about the world
fooled blind by notions.

fool me again.

i learn instead
cells form tissues, organs, ***** systems, bodies.
that clench and bend with emotion and thought...

but never touch.
even when closest,
separated.

the pressure felt
our own cells squishing together
to make sure of that.

do you know...

do you know that?

we never touch...
betrayed by biology
i let science and fact go


the flood

the realization


we never touch...

we never actually touch.

and i never was actually warm.