Like my mirror,
who sees me
stripped of all the things
that I hide behind.
My eyes bare of the make up
that makes others see
me differently.

Like my mirror,
who sees my towel fall
as I get ready every morning.
My hair down my back
as I brush it wishing it was longer.

Like my mirror,
who sees me smile when you call
and cry when you tell me to
leave everything in the past.

Like my mirror,
who sees me sitting on my bed,
writing in the journal that
says your name
over and over again.

Like my mirror,
who sees my tired eyes
as I turn my light off at 3 a.m.
and cover myself with the blanket
you gave me.

Like my mirror,
who sees me laying there
thanking God
for the people who
love me back.
My hands folded together
asking Him to
give me the strength
to love who I see staring back at me.
To see my reflection,

Like my mirror.

I say I'm okay,
but does that mean it's okay
for me to lie about it?
I tell my friends it's okay
that they don't understand
why I love you.
I'm suddenly okay
when you ask me
for my body to meet
with yours one last time.
When you tell me you don't want to
talk about it when I try to stand up
for what I know deserve.
When you tell me it is my choice
to trust you, I wonder if it
has been a mistake to trust you
for all this time. So, all I can say is,
okay.

I chose to let you
inside my mind and
my soul and
even into my body.
You were my drug,
Toxic and unworthy,
but I am no longer laying
on the ground
where you left me.
I opened my eyes
and I can finally see,
I opened my ears and
now I finally listen.
There’s something you
need to know and it’s that
I beat my addiction.

Dad,
What do I do?
You can't be proud of me
for sleeping with a man
who acts like a boy and
doesn't treat me like I am
perfect even though I'm not.
I mean, down here on earth, we are definitely
not angels even though I know you
would treat me like one.
We are human.
We cannot love perfectly,
but aren't we supposed to try?
I know you would tell me that he is the one
who is missing out.
And it’s quiet, but I can hear you say, everything will be better than okay someday,
but it's just not the same.
But I am human. I am selfish.
He calls my name
and I run back to him.
You can't be happy with me
for feeling like I need someone
who doesn't cherish my soul.
I wish you were here.
I wish my questions turned into answers, but it's not that easy.
It's not that easy without you here,
Dad.

To know, one day
I won't need you anymore.

Jesus told me
to love you with everything
my heart had to offer because
we are not here to love
only when it is convenient
for us.

Jesus told me
to focus on Him
when I felt lost with
no where to go because
He is my guide.

Jesus told me
to guard my heart,
for everything I do
flows from it and
He knows I will feel
pain when other hearts
do not cherish my own.

Jesus told me
I have a choice
to live every day
honoring The Cross
which gave me new life.

Jesus told me
that all of my sins, burdens
and heartaches are nailed to
The Cross, like His body
once was and because He rose again,
all of them will stay there.

Leave
and he will search for you
in everyone else
and fail to find what
he left behind.
Only then,
will he realize what he lost
while looking for something
he thought he wanted
but didn't need.


- inspired by r.h. Sin