We pour alcohol like anesthesia
and pack salt into the wounds
Like one will help us forget
And the other will protect us
Except,
It’s never really worked that way
Not for us, never for us
We’re down as many times as up
And the shock to the body
Of sudden revival, rebirth
Isn’t really a shock any more
Don’t be surprised
When your prayers aren’t answered
It’s been a long time
Since any of us has believed
That angels were on our side.
God is watching, maybe
But that’s hard to believe
Maybe he’s the one
Making sure our faces
Are stuck in the mud
Making sure this black water
Creeps into every pore
Making new creatures of us
With too wide smiles
And aeons in liquid eyes
They’re swallowing us whole
Are we really
Going to just let this happen?
I thought not.

I’m chewing my lips blood red
and wondering about
My next course of action
Because this isn’t where
I thought I’d be
And I don’t know
What I’ll do
If five years from now
I’m in the same place
I’m dreaming
Of water and forests
And places
That don’t exist
Outside my head
I’m contemplating change
But I don’t know
where to start
And really that’s
Where the problem started
In the first place, isn’t it?
And I’m dreaming of a time
Ten years from now
When the forest creeps
Into my back yard
And I let it
Because I can’t
I can’t bear
To tame a wild thing
When in the end
That’s all I want to be.

We are chasing the dark
Hoping it doesn’t
Catch us unprepared
If you go on the offensive
You can’t be surprised
By the shadows
Seeping in at the edges
We drink deep of this
Black black water
And hope to hell
It’s not too late
To save ourselves.

Can you sleep here
With the monsters
Watching from the shadows
We’re barely keeping away?
Is there any rest for us
Who aren’t quite good
But aren’t quite wicked either?
Is there light to burn away
The darkness we’ve been chasing?

Here’s the thing
sometimes it’s not the hero
that rides off into the sunset
At the end of the story.
In this life
Sometimes the villains win
And there really are no
Happily ever afters
Just the day after
And the day after that

This storybook life
Isn’t really something
You can chase after
Because you can’t
Hold on to a story
You’ll realize this
As the words flow
Through your fingers
And your illusions
Are shattered
Over
and over
And over
Again.

Hey bluebird
Fly away from here
You are too small
To weather this storm

Hey bluebird
Will you fly away from here
The sky is blue as you are
And I’ve locked your cage in fear

Hey bluebird
How are you singing
When your wings are clipped
And you can no longer fly?

Hey bluebird
Your colours are fading
Your feathers are shades of grey
I just can’t see blue any more

Hey bluebird
You’ve weathered the storm
Damaged and faded you’re singing
Maybe I should’ve just listened to you.

My life is this thing
You can crumple like paper
And you can’t see it
You ball it up in your fist
And disregard the consequences
Ignore the tearing sounds
And the red seeping
Between your fingers
Where the ink hasn’t dried
Don’t worry though,
I’ll unfold it myself
And try to smooth the edges
and mend the tears
It’s okay
I understand
It wasn’t important
To you anyway.

I want to speak
In the language of bright tomorrows
And the pressure of my fingertips
On your back

I want to breathe
The rain in the air
and the smell of dust
Melting from your hands

I want to feel
The softness of your words
And the sound of them
Resting in my ears

I want to be
The world after a storm
And all the glittering possibilities
I can see in the sky.