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Lauren Sage Jul 2014
I love you and we've
Been together for a million seconds, two years, countless silent
Minutes but I
Am confused and I
Wish there was answers
If there are
(don't) tell me them and

Written in the stars? Maybe
It is

Maybe
Lauren Sage Jul 2014
I love you and we've
Been together for a million seconds, two years, countless silent
Minutes but I
Don't think it will work I
Don't think it's written in the stars.


I know, at some point,
It was.
Lauren Sage Jul 2014
2 months and it is
Over as I grab my certificate of
Graduation from the principal we always mocked my
Hand full of bursaries my
******* sore and prom a week away this is it

She, my old friend, done, also
Done also
Done also
This, it's all over and my future

Clear as mud, clear as diamonds.

My future,
Inevitable
Lauren Sage May 2014
In Grade 9 my shoulder broke under the
weight of my backpack
No joke I
found a dulling bump on the blade of my shoulder
Stress fracture, the doctor said after they
irradiated me to
make sure it wasn't cancer

maybe it's because I was small and frail and alive on
500 calories my daily bread I
thought I was strong broken
bones grow back stronger but I can
feel it all crumbling away I can
taste the gritty calcium in my cheeks i can
feel cracks surfacing like a tree exploding in winter sharp
like a gunshot frightening exhilarating

they called it a stress fracture but this is a stress fracture and
far more dangerous she says to
hand in the assignment today or it's a zero and i
pull it to cover my face newly smeared with concealer to
mask 5 minutes' ago tears in the bathroom but it's no use they
sting they bubble out like acid i am the only
girl in the calculus class and they just congratulated me on my
ability to handle the hardest class load the 2 other kids quit on but what
they don't know is I can't i
got a 34 on something else i
thought I did good and the muscles
on my back don't mean anything and my sparring ability with a plastic pipe-sword doesn't mean anything and i can't do it anymore i
thought I did good i
thought i could handle it i
was going to show them i was strong

i was going to show myself i was strong.
Child abuse, anorexia, children's aid, anxiety, of all things a 34 on a chemistry ISU is going to break me.
Lauren Sage May 2014
My head is lolling
lolling
Like a snapped flower stem because I rolled
I rolled my eyes too hard and the force of my bowling-ball
Irises threw my skull to the right, hard,
Snapped my vertebrae

I laugh because it gets me out of the
Work one more time

onemoretimeonemoretime

I am so burnt out I can
Smell the singe on my hair as I
Cut it after two years

My head is empty
Empty
Filled with calculus English chemistry biology chemistry chemistry
Bowling-ball irises
Sky blue, I
Stabbed them out and felt the test scores
(84 98 67 67 67 67) run down my cheeks cool cold jelly
(This no-exam feeling is exhilarating his
Exams in a month feeling is exhilarating)
Exhilarating like it
Takes my breath away, I swear my eyes are
Intact and just
One more month

Can Liza please come down to the office
I want you to make an appointment with me
Just to check up on you and
It's because I ran crying into the office because
I'm so scared my marks won't be high enough and
I'm going to have to tell her I stopped
I stopped going to counseling and
I'll have to tell her
Lauren Sage May 2014
Lysis
As in glycolysis, bacteriolysis, analysis
To break into significant pieces
Bite-sized, easy consumption
To free
To see the fruits of your labor in front of you clearly
Like a jagged piece of glass, where
The edges are not warped and deceiving as it would be
If it were a smooth and rounded thing

Lysis-
What I know
Life is hard to swallow but
It is better that way
Lauren Sage Apr 2014
Once I dreamed I was nothing
When I tell you I don't see the point in cleaning my room when I could be

Biking, the wind tossing my hair back the
Sour smell of stagnant water in a ditch, littered with cans
The sun glints off the silvery foil of Fruit Roll-Up wrappers and

Blinds me, it does,
We hear the rushing water see the
Dead grass, littered with spider holes (I told you so)
The clear water fresh from the crisp snow forcing it's way


Up the highway embankments, like how the water
Runs down the blasted rocks,
Once we moved mountains for highways we
Used TNT to blast away the meteorite I grew up on,
And now it is smooth from winters worth of melt water
Running, eroding, coaxing away the sharp

This is a new world come
Alive with water I,
I will flood,

No,

We will flood.
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