Anxiously
My chest tightens,
Heart races.
The ability to breath
Escapes me
Im grasping at straws
To regain some
Self control.
Im loosing myself
In dread,
Things are at a
Fever pitch,
Climbing to the ******
Of self doubt.
Can I do this?

Sitting on the bathroom floor
Reveling in cigarette smoke
And cool linoleum
After I've got my fix.
Body flushed with adrenaline
Coated in a cold sweat
My not so secret addiction
Has triumphed.
The count down starts again.

Fragile sins drip
From parted lips and
Finger tips.
Flitting and flirting with
The looming truth.

Writhing, Choking
Stealing the life blood of this giant.
Suffocating, Strangling
We must fell this beast.
All but dead,
It holds on reaching upward
Roots tearing at the sodden earth.
Trying to **** what little can still
Be found there.
We can nearly hear it shrieking
The behemoth groans and creaks,
The battle is nearly won.
Victory will be bitter sweet.

Wood grain on
Bare feet
The smell of cigarettes
Muddled with the
Crisp cool embrace of fall.
The leaves rustle
And crickets chirp
Then all is still.
I can feel you,
A warming presence
That draws me like
Moths to a flame
Lost in reminiscence
Almost forgetting
No one is here at all

This middle ground
is an uncomfortable hell.
You hold my heart
in your hands.
Squeeze it hard enough to
end me.
Or often enough to
keep it beating.

I'll trace a map
to my heart
with the freckles on your
shoulders.
The weight they
Carry is great,
Even Atlas would
have trembled.

I'll draw a map
to my heart
with the freckles on your
face.
Your smile;
Cupids bow.
Those unintentional arrows
Ensnare me.

I'll trace a map
to my heart
with the freckles on your
chest.
A constellation.
Those stars sparkle
In my eyes.

Resolved.
Decisive.
Determined.
Unconcerned.
Absolute.
Established.
Poised.
Braced.
Fixed.
Certain.
Unsure.

Why does it always feel like
Cat-and-mouse
on a cocktail napkin?
My red lipstick stains
your collar,
Just as it stains my
tainted soul.

Inject me with creativity
Fill my veins with ink,
In hopes of spilling fourth,
Words worth reading.
Apathetic muses of todays youth,
Mass produced indifference.
Please,No more love songs.
Sing to me of your mind,
Not your clichéd heart.

You are my muse.
The physical manifestation
Of words unwritten.
You are the song,
The tune that has yet
to leave my lips.
You are every shred
Of art in my body.

Light hearts and lace
Cast uneasy shadows
on things; all too
often left unspoken
We dance betwixt
moonlight and an ever
ignored reality.
Sneaking around lies of
Omission
and buried hatchets.
Oh what wicked webs
we weave.

Frail and naïve
Dressed in bare naked
Innocence
Punctuating your laughter
With coy
Resistance
I’ll toss aside my weighty
Halfhearted insecurities,
If only for right now.
Your hands and heart meet mine,
Just for a moment.
We turn away for fear
Of who or what
We might become.

Demoralization.
The delinquency of this
day-and-age.
With clipped wings and
Gnashing teeth
we contemplate escape
from our gilded cages.
Material.ism
Nihilism.
New religion at large
Go into your churches
Your synagogues ,
Pray for your things.

I love you
I love you too
                                                           ­             *Forever?Yes
                                  ­                                         *Me too

The rosin still clings
To my slackened strings
And my shine is all but gone.
Yet you found me;
There lying still and silent,
In my funerary garments
Of tattered velvet
and darkened oak.
You called to me,
Coaxing me back into being.
For yours is a labor of love;
I need you nearly as much
As you need me; Musician.

Nearly never,
Almost always,
You'll say
I'm sorry.
You're right, but
I'm nearly never
Wrong,
Almost always
just a little off.
You'll be the death
Of me.
I'll most certainly
Go willingly.
Nearly never
Awake enough to see
What's almost always
In front of me.

Paper and ink broken down into
sentiment and heartstrings
I've missed you.
You remained just as
I left you.
Eager for my touch.
Waiting to have my love
spilled across you.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

All girl and
No pin up.
Pent up
Frustration
A sidewalk
A street lamp
A half lit cigarette
A smile
A kiss
A boy who didnt know
The difference

I'll be your salvation
In a vessel of sin.
The message at the
Bottom of the bottle.
I swear I'll never
Drink again.

I dream in shades
of gray, but,
I live in black and white.
And that blurry space
In between?
I'll never reach it.
Theres almost as much
distance, as between
U and I.

Feed me your
Fabricated falsehoods
Lend me your vice
And borrow my
Virtue
Purchase perfection
With a silver tongue
And still be left
Wanting

Unsettling,
An almost unnerving sense
of utter disillusion.
Sweet pangs of jealousy
Tempered by debilitating regret.
Will I never be your only?
No, I think I shall take my lot
and my leave.
Jaded repercussion,
You've been forgiven but not
forgotten. Never forgotten.
Your words have been etched in me
Lithographically.
Why must we be reduced to
Coy smiles and casual glances?
Will it ever be enough to just love
Someone.

Your effortless perfection
Swallows me whole.
I try to drink it down.
But its a kind of flawless
I can't digest.
If only you knew the true
Meaning of servitude.
My love struck bonds
Hold me
The way you refuse to
My forceless captor.

Run away with me
Run as far and fast
as feet and fate
Can take us.
To where they won’t
Know our faces.
Where they won’t know you
Said you hate me
And I called you
Your fathers name.
To where life and love
Can live together
Like i always said we
Should.

We accelerated passed hello.
With fierce kiss and
Bitten lips
You uttered those words
"I love you"