How do you let everything go when you have become so comfortable with being in the situation? You cant sleep without the person by your side, cant remember doing anything without the person for so long that the littlest thought of leaving and walking away makes you freak out.. Having all the memories of amazing times together and even remembering the way the person smells, tastes, acts, ect...your one and only true best friend...=/
How do you give up on someone you promised you would always love and you still do...but you cant handle being in the postion in life with irresponsible and dishonesty with money, and everything in general. Your not even whole for yourself, how could you have put so much effort for so long into someone elses life, and then regret falling so far into love and wholeness with a person that no matter their flaws you cant give it up, you cant throw it all away.
You have befriended all of the persons friends, and have become completely wound up in the life of this person. They know everything about you, and your home life. They are close-knit with your family, and they participate in every holiday together. How do you give up everything, knowing that it is the right thing to do at the moment, but fear never seeing the person again. Never feeling the warmth of their skin next to you when you sleep, and the feeling of their embracing arms wrapped around you when your upset.
But then again, how do you know that this all wasnt a game from the beginning and that you were just a pawn on the game board? How do you honestly know the truth about anything anymore..they know everything about you, but your learning slowly but surely that you may not know fully about them. That maybe you put your heart and soul into something that really was just a lost cause...that maybe this person no matter how hard you try to help them will never change...
How do you cope with knowing that maybe this person isnt who you were meant to be with...that you completely wasting your time loving, caring, and completly and devoutly committing to the person for so long and didnt realize anything before..How is it possible to go through many years of being comfortable in a certain position, and then all of a sudden realizing that nothing you did in your life so far was anything that you actually wanted to do. That all you might have been searching for was companionship. Someone to prove to you that it was possible to completly fall in true love and take care of each other...And how do you tell the person without losing them forever that you made a mistake..?
How do you love someone and want to be with them and love them, but at the same time question every single thing you have ever done in your life?