I've been tired lately,
When I'm tired it shows up on my face,
And in my body language,
Like a bold flashing sign,
Topped with puffy eyes and weak shoulders,

I've been fighting lately,
With the world and with other people,
To be recognized for who I am now,
Not what I did before,
And I've been fighting with her too,

The old, younger me,
Caught up in her surroundings,
Too focused on what went wrong,
Never looking forward and so never moving on,
Who just wouldn't let up on me,

"You're not good enough,"
I know that,
"You're not good enough,"
Okay I know that, but,
"You're not good enough."

Well you know what?
That's not good enough.

I can't use that,
There is no benefit to that kind of thinking,

Fear of rejection,
Fear of success,
Those are not good enough reasons to keep me in critical condition,

Self-loathing is not good enough for me.
It's not good enough for anybody.

"You're not good enough."
Says who?

Pleasure, call me no more,
You do not know my name,
I do not want your warm embrace,
Your burden or your blame,

Desire, let  me sleep alone,
Don't wake me in the night,
Your taste is resting on my lips,
Your hold on me is tight,

Heartbreak, please, stay sober,
You're scary when you drink,
I need your words of wisdom now,
To tell me what to think,

Balance, I implore you,
Find me in this mess,
Bring me who I know I am,
Alight with happiness.

There needs to be an urgency,
A frenzy to our love,
If I cannot feel the lightning,
Let's both just pull the plug,

Bring me to a boiling point,
Manipulate and tease,
Send me past my deepest pride,
And down onto my knees,

I'm waiting for a reckless fire,
Too strong to deny,
Destroying all that's in its path,
Aside from you and I,

So bring your hell upon me,
I have weathered it before,
I'm asking for your true self,
Nothing less, and nothing more.

Walk to the end of your driveway,
Bring scissors,
Cut the universe starting there,

With everything you've got,
Tear it open,
Watch the energy bleed out,

See the stars, the streets, the trees,
Roll up into one,
Until you can't tell yourself from the ether,
Until you really get it,

Now, take fifteen steps back,
And take a look,
Tell me,
What's the difference?

Late night infinity,
Because my heart is so alive,
Shedding the reality,
Of the who, what, where, and why,

Everyone is dreaming,
But I stay wide awake,
My consciousness is teeming,
With decisions I should make,

What if I just float here?
What if I just smile?
Let's let go of all the fear,
Let's just be lovers for a while,

Let's live inside the twilight,
Or maybe in the dawn,
Anywhere it feels right,
Even though we know it's wrong.

I hadn't cried in so, so long,
And here I thought that made me strong,
I was wrong,

If we don't mourn for what we've lost,
We aren't above the pain,
We are afraid,

The hardest part of life,  you see,
Is to practice,
What you preach,

I've been preaching endlessly,
My years,
All gone in speech,

But who am I to tell you so,
When I myself don't even know,
How best to proceed,

I'm but a girl, stuck in her head,
With a heart, sick and full of dread,
Open and in need,

Looking to every vice I can,
To stifle what I understand,
The truth is far too real,

What I choose is who I am,
Before I run and hide again,
I must; I choose to feel.