It follows you
It seems almost impossible to break free
From its cruel, hateful grasp
You think you've escaped it
But again it captures you
More tight and securely than before
Once again you are trapped
In the hands of a monster

You paint lines on your arms
In a wonderful shade of red
To prove to yourself and those around you
Your pain is as real as any other emotion
Any other feeling
Its alive, more alive than you have been for a long time
And you can feel something once again
The pleasurable sting of the crimson sea
Making its way to shore
On your virginal white skin
Now stained with scarlet puddles

Or the food you made such an effort to consume
When it makes a reappearance
Its swimming inside the lavatory
You are no longer just empty in your soul
But also in your stomach, a body part you despise,
with such a burning passion.

You may poison yourself in many other ways,
in attempt to slay this beast
Like a medication, to ease the pain and discomfort
Pills and liquor, *** and love making
Also take the edge off for a little while
And a little while is a whole lot better than nothing at all
But its not enough
Its still got you

Its just gone ten and everything seems fine
But beneath the surface, part of me want's to die
My life is being wasted, and I'm on fifteen
All around me is darkness
That tries so hard to convince me,
it can not be seen

That the world is fine and dandy,
that there are so many possibilities
For me
A whole world out there for me to explore
If only it was that easy
That I would adore

There's so much I want for myself
I have ambition and passion pouring out of my,
oh so damaged soul
But it isn't dandy,
and it isn't fine
Its so ******* full of pain

So draining, its draining out,
the little sunshine that still lurks inside of me
Part of me see's how monstrous this planet is
And part of me falls for its act
Its so confusing
And frustrating

I feel like i'm spinning
Further and further out of control
Out of knowing anything about anything
Out of reality