I hear the low rumble of force and fear,
the distance closing soon to be upon me,
reigning down to ravage the landscape,
wrenching the very life from all and sunder.
I steel myself in fading moments of calm,
connecting with my soul in brief stillness,
knowing this could be the last time
I may know myself, to feel my vulnerability,
to see and remember those I love so dear,
and those who dearly love and behold me.
I feel my heart fall at the starting post
as fear and force grip me in stark contrast,
I have little choice as the burgeoning moment
paces itself ever onward with reality stamping
in my face; vying for strength, for cowardice to
disperse and clear the path for the oncoming
wagon of battle, to free the world from this
tyrant and wash ourselves clean of war and woe.
Stale air creeps upon me, the familiar smell
of bodies gaping with wounds, of blood
spattered stains upon the earth, of tears
and sweat mingled with the raging war cry,
to see others silently yet fearfully steady themselves
before the terrifying spectacle that besets.
I know you as my enemy and must remain
in this mindset to stand me strong to do my duty,
but yet I want to shake your hand and know you
as we are the same in our order of the day,
without choice we are here to settle the score,
not between one another but for the bigger
wheel that turns with freedom as its epitaph.
We will not be defeated despite the loss of life,
even the threat of connecting with our final hours.
I shriek the battle call and find myself running
toward the firing line, caught up in the melee
of deathly combat that finds itself torn apart
amid the frenzy of body upon body,
that cannot allow boundaries their space,
the message and focus to slay the foe.
I strike out with physical force into flesh
that tears apart with ease of human vulnerability,
then feel a force within that flails me to the ground,
my mind and body hitting the dirt and filth,
face sinking, forced into the mixture of ****** mud.
I wonder, is this my final moment absorbed into darkness,
becoming unaware of the continued chapter around me,
knowing not if I will survive or be at deaths door.
My duty is done and those around wear the poppy
of remembrance, of courage and ultimate sacrifice,
allowing their freedom to be continued and realised,
and I wear the medal of honour but reap the scars,
to live another day that will never dawn the same,
passing those that do not know my wounds that persist.
Nonetheless I am lucky, given the chance to live my life,
to feel the embrace, skin upon skin of those I love.

If we opened up and delved into
ourselves, what would we see?
A miniature mockery tight lipped,
shedding the creases of yesterday

Slip away and it will catch you, in indefinite poses, the latch key sapping, the juice subsiding, no generosity searching for you if you will

Running from respite to find peace,
a wail in a churchyard strictly rigid,
doesn't recognise my wide eyes, arriving on time deliberately stamping

I wrote my soul on a tea towel,
one I’d dried up with earlier,
the words smudged into the fabric,
absorbing my insides into the folds

Earlier it had met me, like a minder,
drying the crockery of my tears
as they ran the race of their lives,
soaking the top I’d carefully chosen

only earlier that day when a smile had
gathered pace and filled the emptiness,
completed the gaps of the worn out
in block capitals, hoping I’d notice

Who are you in the given shadows,
so unrecognisable in your black gown,
you placed the shawl over your head,
your neck gathering the undulating folds…..

A spot appeared, under normal circumstances
I wouldn't pay it mind...I almost did not but for
the tight whispers, when secrecy staggered across my path,
I couldn't keep track and quite suddenly disappearing,

I'm left standing and staring, a blank spot, like a
dark space, a hole without a filling; foot forward
I filled the space, my feet were there before I blinked,
on the other side, unsure of the journey in between,

I felt the breath of sweat tracing my back,
flooding my insides with dread of unknown origin,
worse than the eye of a tornado, shocking me.
A split in the moment, when seconds shattered into now,

drowning time to the bottom of forever; the buzzing
in my ears drilled into me, producing a spot felt, a spot now
visible, spreading somewhere within, digging its way through skin,
through muscle, bones scattered to one side and the pace

to reach tarmac was furious, would not forgive, the spot unidentifiable, remained, navigating a way through
until reaching a dead end; wanting to turn back proved
impossible, the spot had filled, red, ****** red

The day produced uncertainty,
wet slashes, whipped wind
battered the summer sun, grey misty
breath coughed then fell silent.

Teasing, the sun sprinkled a spun layer,
found pretty pockets to blink through.
Swallowing hard the sky shook
it's blue blanket, spreading wide,

seemingly inviting the sun to sit alongside,
to reminisce; a fine day ripened,
exhaled across the ocean,
breathing in the ebb and flow.

Up high the sun towered it's flaming
glory, chanted a rhythmic rhyme of radiance.
I celebrated, hugging its splendour,
felt it warm me to my bones.

A round black hard button pressed itself at the walls
of my stomach, churned and mixed a cocktail,
a shaking mass of temporary fight or flight. It was
not the menu I was hoping to greet this morning.

I sidled the park pathway in search of fresh air,
cramped from living with wooden emotions, without
release, not fit for sharing, let alone thinking second
by second, continually mocking like seagulls swirling

overhead spitting at the passers-by, grabbing at leftovers
in their wake. I soft footed the hard surface, heading
away from my mind, it followed; pulling punches.
The bike, quiet, sprung past, knocked at

my reverie and temporarily subjected me to the outside.
I hated that second; how it tripped me up, inviting itself.
I hadn’t asked, it hadn’t replied, it happened, I groaned
and felt the hard grind as the button pushed deeper.

The relentless gusty air clutched at my skin, spilling tears
onto my cheeks, catching at my silent lips. I did not draw
a hand up to scrub them clean, it wasn’t worth the effort,
almost daring them to be seen; for someone to look…..

help me…..

Taking a stance, strong as a mountain,
would you hear me, carried on echoing
shoulders; silent are the drums of indifference,
that fall on deaf ears of invisibility

Trembling unnoticed, a tightrope vibrating
with unseen footsteps; a bird flawlessly glides
catching the drift of words on a wire,
follows its winged direction to a fuller

climate of interesting twitter and leaves
me speechless. Impressions of sound drown loudly,
parallel pronunciations of an endearing nature
cough up smarter sentences, those that are heard

on street corners fighting for listeners choosing
to pause and grant the unheard an audience
to be proud of.  I bow to their fame in that one
moment, devouring their words, sifting the debris

Unsure in thought, feelings deadened
fostered by the dark sea, the raft dithering,
words hauntingly absent, lapping up each
syllable, a sinking note, plummeting like a depth

charge, tying me down to the sea bed in unknown
shifting currents, the tide turning me over and over,
water logged and sand bagged in deep coral shifts.
I drowned a thousand letters, bit into sentences;

no one heard me. Coldness shared its chilling weight,
leaving spaces where conversation once played out,
hand crafted with laughter.  I know the embers well,
the ashes scatter, float as they dwindle and *****

I long for the cry of a lyric in simplicity, profound, catching
my throat unexpectedly, knowing with immediacy
the feel of real honesty. Perfunctory has no mind space,
straight as a die, absent of side-lines that trip you up,

take you off balance into a whirl of wondering, when
meaning is lost in translation to the untrained eye.
Solidarity has no invitation to understand, we cannot share
freely, the highbrow world punctures their interest, the pages

gummed…..no longer turn; this high minded plethora stunts us.
Hangs off shoulders like last year’s fashion, trailing the
ground, grabbing misunderstandings so deep that it is lost to
those who are crying out for peace of mind, souls who are in

need of plain and simple food with true meaning.  Wanting
with all their might to be drawn in. Speak to them, straight tongues
without forks jammed beneath pallets, plumbs released from
mechanical jaws blocking breath to breathe and sighs to form,

not from boredom, but knee deep in wonder; at last offering
a tear, a depth, identifying with amusement, laughter. It could be
felt, this sense of clarity, like a mountain stream washed clean over
time.  Find them, find a way to burrow in to meet eyes asking for more

Opening up choice, optional outlets
Voiced sections of our minds escaped
Safety was in silence; speech impeded
Powerful penned action leaves the
Skull to crack open thought processes

Others see into their minds by way of derivation
Interaction captured, swooping into bludgeon
Spat out red remarks dissolving us, turning over
The table of plenty and offending, devaluing self regard
Talking us out of being who we are....yet leaves

Replaying the turntable of our minds
Rinsed out mouths might penetrate the circle of
Tight lips, forced shut by silent expectation
Fear and squirming ruling our fingertips, wrapping
Knuckles pressed firmly to the flesh of repression

Gold dust sprinkles the high life, cuts short the
Intrinsic pain, lends a hand in the greedy depths
Of finding a way through the webs of sarcasm
The veiling pretence is insidious in flavour
Tastes sweet to the tongue, once swallowed... too late

Within the grip of unfamiliarity, pestilence
Sits in grainy aloneness gritting the grind of teeth
Breath does not penetrate much, it holds itself
Still with unconscious perfect effort. Tired eyes
Sift through video tracks clutching crossed
Out sections edited randomly, leaving fingertips
Polished perfectly familiar, yet not so, as mouths
Spit flaky sentences bowled over in turmoil

If crossing the road would the eye of difference
Change perspective, grant peace...permission to digress
Into roominess without challenge, would calling out invent
Comforting echoes to rally.  Yet.....would they shake their
Snaky grizzle....grinning vapidly, unexpected tongues sizzling
Forking their way across tight lips......slither
Their purpose across fugitive bodies and minds....crushing

Looking... looking away
Away to connect with disconnect
Disconnect, pulling apart palms
Palms smooth as dried leaves
Leaves that crumbled in hands
Hands rough as a smooth iron
Iron as strong as our weakness
Weakness shutting us down
Down into the farthest reach
Reach, fast current slowing
Slowing the depth charge
Charge me what you will
Will or will not look, looking
Looking.... looking away

The chair gripped like a bear
mauled into place
tongue tied, throat silenced
roaring....

ferociously .....
the door raged between us
locked loudly
cries , crawled their grimy patch

hung momentarily, felt the stale air
quietly gathering, pooling damply
cheek soddened in pain
giant force propelled, the floor

hard and unrelenting shocked my bones
breath forced itself outward....
black and rigid
the open window of before.... forced shut

palms spread across the floor
interrupted, reinforced toes stamped
crushingly, the sound resonating
without movement now

My eyes formed steps that followed and fled
round the bend of failed yesterdays,
stuck in the gullet of unswallowed breath

I could not read painful pages, I turned them
over, leafing my way through misguidance,
judgement had borrowed me for may years

Guilt spun grey thread, caught hold and wrapped
manipulatively, indecisive nature grew to self destruct
the analytical marching song chose the day

Sleep shades the burning sun from breaking
flesh, seeks out to rebuild the view from my eyes
the curtains drawn held me in shadowy shawls

where rest found energy to stand in line for
tomorrows envelopes to drop on the mat before
me, would I dare to open, release the sealed contents

The secrets held in calm times, released in raged rage
hurled with force, reclaiming head of the table, yet....
never to be spoken aloud...... for fear attaches itself

Sipping a large glass of worry
she grasped the stem, her veins
pumped red, gargled the heady
mixture, biting into the beads
of fine burgandy, tossing her cares
to another hour, one that might
trouble her less, stalk her minus
tenacity, and then she would peep
over the rim wild eyed, head
rushing for the ceramic cool, catching
reminders, puking their prescribed lies
into the watery bowl, flushed away

To the right of my mind
a stuttering shudder stroked
into a conjuring trick
mist and fog precluded
with eternal density

Giving way to a definite
bypass of emotion
sitting, wondering, hammering
for the solution to troubled
senses that gripped in tight fists

Gradual senseless doubts
fogged up the highway
skidded into black icy fear
the foghorn sounding its blast
Announcing its brazen load

Keep me safe in corners
despite their black features
poking at me, barricading
my tomorrow with segmented
troubles, woven in pin pricking motion

Grinding statues were still
age transforming their limbs
into crumbling confinement
I struck out and rallied
them, together we circled

Transforming our once isolated
innards into sharing heart
shaped sentences
heard by those who chose to hear
and found droplets of hope

It was startling - this pessimistic world,
I opened the window, a storm raged,
attic whipped windy cobwebs,
scurrying spiders slid under debris,
and cracks appeared in her flesh,
where red oozed, yelling its escape,
collar bone protruding, thin layers fading,
wine trickled from blue corners,
knuckles scraped. I heard their drag,
whilst fibres caught up in nails,
burrowing beneath red lacquer,
snagging....scraping their terminus

If I'm not in view
how will you see me?
will it be in a dream?
a moment of enlightenment?
an epiphany?
a silent scream into the night?
a shrill silence?

How will I know you see me?
through the soft beat of my heart?
in the sifting of my memory?
with healing wounds?
over the waves of emotion?
through the tunnel of your imagination?

I cannot conceive or believe
just how this will happen,
to reach out for faith's home,
pray for a smothering of hope,
single your face out in the crowd,
imagine your texture,
how it graces my mind

Crafting a channel
through the clay of time,
inking the paper with love deposits,
blowing a kiss to travel to the
ends of the earth,
awaiting its return, one thousand
years too late

I captured a purred etiquette, loitering
in shortened heartbeats, rapping time,
it slumped to the floor, are you exhausted?
sprawled amidst shady feline secrets of
the feline kind....mind blowing, pin point
squinting, all day long as if forgotten,
finding cover, you cannot see them, they see you
while they rule the world with feline precision,
paws patrolling park benches, walls ready made
for clambering, trees stretching, introducing
sturdy bark for clawed expression, baked leaves
swaying, cooling the purring cat who waits for no one,
joining the hours like dots, stringing out a yawn
that interrupts pleasant planning, daydreams,
baring teeth making way for field fun and activity,
the day lingers, loiters, mimicking feline patience

Indecisive and sounding as interesting as a brick
wall, I sauntered along the brick path colliding
with my brick silent mood, causing me to falter

kicking the covers, dislodging the brick,
hour on hour in the brick dark night, eyes
feeling brick heavy, tossed, turned,

the bathroom, bricked in on four sides,
plodded in the dead of night to the beat of
heavy laden feet, tic toc as the brick swings

soil, solid bricked ground, shuttered down
solitude, walking away....a heart,. brick heavy,
awash, water swirling, brick pockets....sinking

A crease in the socket of emotion
proposed a silent watery rhyme,
swam under the surface of your
thoughts, so as not to disturb
patterns forming, digits and dots
tapping at your side in vain edits

Caught, locked in tights cells of you,
I wound up the cotton reel, mending
the holes of doubt, and arching my
back, I purred along the wall, side stepping
sharp sabotage, where blood spurts,
cuts split their sides, dropping droplets

reddened and dark, stains of a thousand
prints, their script to prevent access.
I borrowed a moment from the street
sellers cart, persisted that I would not
sell him out, that the ground was solid
under my feet, bolt upright, proof

I sang my belief, like a bold penance,
scenes where money would cross palms
of one asking for more, a bowl held high,
armed with charming smiles. their half
beliefs studying my every transparency,
the guttural deluge swiftly passing me to

sewered excellence, tugging my heels,
entwining shoe laced lies. And how I
would fail, unable to shift the showcase
of my life. But, suckered under
the slip stream, I gargled the depths
while you made space for my spewing

On a bogus hill, a man stood
in self defence and shot himself,
clean through the heart of the white
flag that hung breezily around his
neck, like a neckerchief in situ

A calm reverence, self awareness,
had positioned itself, 'enough' shone
in the deaf hours before daylight begs,
dislodging sad meanings from
ungrateful dictionaries.

You bought words, they lead you,  
rocked a changed lullaby....au revoir,
checking the white flag of departure,
arrival of metal, red bled wounds,
flag swaying, stained under surrender

Pellets of rain pestered the cotton swagged
sky, cloudy purses grew black with scowls
coldly spelling their injustice. A chapter of
sunrays shot shamesless shards, irony perched

between chaperones; a truce maybe, rains restless
pathways of rays bleating their appeal, rooming in,
black balaclavas, rooting for blue beams,
itching bony beads of cloudy sweat, out of reach

In turn, limbs colour coated grassy spaces
tides of sun worshippers laughed out loud
their inner duets, hand in hand the sweltering
dance floor bathed them, sidling cotton clouds

Swiftly passing the sunscreen, laying back, beckoning
the sun from beneath neatly positioned cloud baubles.
Within an inch of our lives the splodges began, light
heavy, heavier, to the swell of April in full tune

Instantly the greedy green spaces groaned, ejected
sweet harmony, rolled out goodbyes, tongued stiff
breeze longing for its thirst to be quenched, and so
torrents rushed in where fools once lay

A lonely sunscreen bottle, remnant of warm
minds soaking heat, long days teasing into belief.
Yet April fooled us once more with beguiling banter,
chorused a chanting cheating lullaby of lamentation

‘That day’, bed held, quiet, noisy in my ear,
elongated, like aeroplane entrails, skyward.
You were not embarking on any holiday I knew,
I caught your final sigh out of this life.

Cards pressed to chest, pupils tucked in.
“Is that blue or green?” you said, squinting,
your dealt cards outstretched toward me,
“Uno” you shouted, laughed, we did, you did.

Multi coloured swap shop, ripe mosaic fruits,
a smile of hearts. In the back room, fire flickering,
news parting my lips, tongued syllables locating
your body language........between proud arm rests.

Summer, warm, brown faded wooden bench
caught my skirt in its skin, splintered my hand.
Chasing, breathy, laughing, heat haze flooded
rosy cheeks.......we watched.

Hopscotching along without care; you told the
tale, you said... “Your cardy was swinging in the air”
you frantic, too frantic for weighty words,
worry warrior stamped across your forehead.

The trellis of oak trees winked,
captured my soul in a spinney,
chalked whispers of free promises
breathy like a silken shawl trailing

Those wise men of old, withered
skin of bark, tall and strong, waving
their introduction. They bowed to me
in free form, in humble escapism.

Sun had stroked their warm palms,
fed them sweet sap. To my left a
stray leaf, rested amid invisibility,
caught the air train, and spiralled free.

Twizzled to the green painted rug
basking under my cotton covered feet.
Reaching out, it blew away,
I chased the freedom fields.

The brook teased it and set
sail under the woody bridge,
green from seasonal tears.
Lost sight as it spun the space

between us. The grass sprung
its beginnings in full Spring, tall in parts,
summer not yet wrapped and
ready to visit us, much less

invited to the summer ball
where shadows are ten a penny,
and sunshine bought on every
street corner.  I am among spring

devoured in daffodil eiderdowns,
elbowing out the crocus, snowdrop
chandeliers. I seagull my way,
swaying in step with willow, blossoming

surprising myself, how I let go of
school day shivers, tinkering my brain
into gear for terms talking tightness,
cramming commas, fat full stops.

Creases cemented in skin of ages,
bending forward ratcheting wrinkles
piled like a car crash, systemically dried
routing for moisture moguls, malfunctioned,
marked measures of time spelt skin attack,
pillowed ruts run deep, prolonging
their birthmark, plumping....out on a date
with new age spaces yet to be filled

Sarcasm streets, filching frowned brows
suns' stolen chastity, lifting out brown
messages spotted at random
grey mandarins, juiceless, bribing
to be heard, a manifesto hidden,
shrivelled prunes wallowing in dried skins
reaching out for the bottomless custard jug

In the set square sat a round
racket of positivity, molecules
cherished in cherry smiles
chimed 18 x 9am daily dongs
a song known through sound and
vision secrets saved in silent cheeks
mothed up in ***** of tremulous tongues
tough eccentrics bull dozing blindly
baked on 1000 degress, ovened out
softened in soap suds, sponged
free, out of site of the black dog who never
wags his tail, hung dog look gallops
through the aisles, hopping hopscotch, set
squares sitting with round racket ruminators

Infectious wounded words, gargled grief,
ring leaders in foul filled filth,
door opening to the left of the blackened
wallpaper, stooping from its support

Floor, a waterlogged mess of yellowed
****, stabbing stink, suffocating, like flayed
corpses, acidity burning in the back alleys
of wounded worn out hearts on sick leave

Cowering in crumbled crevices, filmy outlines
of themselves, insides outgrown fulfillment,
faded, grasped their gasp and sold it,
folded into walls....gross with age

I would have cried but, energyless, I'd fallen
out of my body long ago, beat the light from
my eyes, layed down in yellowed tears of ****
alongside the ratted out corridors of squalor

Austerity emblazoned in silk
fallen out of the ranks
in the popularity stakes
the iced tea on the hob
warmingingly out of character

Do you recall turning the page of irony
yellowed blotter, signature book
of those you'll never meet again
autographed in old inked scrawl
holed up with cobwebbed coats

Well, they don't bother you now
even though they stared you down
head hunted the perfect prefect of popularity
seeking you to check out the aged paper trail
their current capabilities warranting a slice

Settling, the nest felt comfy
nurturing, gifts placed at your feet
you dislodged the parrot from your shoulder
it left its calling card, a neat reminder,
chatted  up colourful clowns in the corner

Squatting within a lurch of emotion
fried eyed, stop tap turned off
zero shifting into first place
cashing in their deposit too late
they paid in full willingly....it seemed

Steamrollered, you left the game
parked your plastic smile
scrubbed clean the mossy mess
sat back amongst daisy/buttercup armies
felt the hot poker of rejection, water.....devoured it

Tracks trembled, catering for my destination westward, field
alongside industry courted, dancing the miles ahead, celebrating
scenic mystery, roaving in splendour, hills pumping spellbinding
grassy greatness, devouring, readying for mountainous masterpieces

I am sun drenched in strobed springtime, relishing the thaw
of rivers running forever, snowy peaks holding onto winters
shivering tale, huddling cold coats like pashminas trailing....
unfinished,their needlework on pinpoint exercise

Inside I sit next to myself, folding minutes into moments of memory,
tracks decreasing inner city air, and I regard
evermore with special splendour, the developing rocks and craggy cliffs
arriving neatly at the foot of the sea waving white flags, receding, chasing....

Row upon row, I saw them, instantly, ‘I did’,  
shuffled bodies bulged past me, they ‘did not’.
Fingers, lived to touch, light dim in part,
not here, spotlit, it said “Do not touch”,

how can I know?  Disobedient held
up in my palm, angling my hand
this way, that way. It happened then,
our grey blue pupils, like full stops, clung,

I did not know it would be a memory pocket.
A sentence in time snatched my happy face,
fear bought me. Under my skin, groping pins
pricking the base of my neck pushed into my skull.

Spun, bumping bodies smelling of beached waves,
hard gulps, sweat caught in between my fingers.
It was time to tie up loose thoughts, forget
I pushed away with speed, in a strange place,

street, shop,  where was I? Where are you?!  
By your side in safe sofas, I hand swung
down the banister, released the bolt,
safety catch hanging...and gone....

Flower
Bold

Sat

Proudly
Wrapped....in
Strands

I looked up
You were gone
Traces of you

Her soft head
Rested....

                 'wore me out'

Merest delicacy shot through
As though irons had clung to fire
Dressed in red hot pain

Not in the mood today.....post...post trauma
Sees me flattened out. Coping with the
Blunt instrument at high intensity saw me
Wide eyed, angry finger pointing like a hot
Poker. In response, it was, to behaviour of
The unacceptable kind. Post trauma saw me
Calm, almost serene.  Was it numbing necessity?
Seeing me through hot hurt. I found the
'Sorry for myself' mood and chose its company
Sat by my side digging me in the ribs when it felt
My presence slip away to pull the plug from the
Bath water, reducing the **** building up around
All sides.  Playing poker with my thoughts was
Not a winner this day. Only proving that the fool
Was me. I collect myself from this sallow solitude
Feel the sides of the comfort cushion. It has no use for
Me today.  I remain in tall hallways with tall walls
Tasting the sour gob stopper that prevents a smile on
                                                                                         .....my face

I saw him... Ripping the posters of hope to the ground
The bear stuffed. Cardboard box a home he never dreamt of
An abandoned minefield of metal gongs.....still clanging
With life encircled on its rim, clearly in full erosion

One eye had begun to fall, clinging on by a theatrical thread
A small hole had appeared, the left ear on hard times
He looked  sad...his 'Bravo' days departed, kicked like an
Old tin can scattering nailed organs, strewn carelessly

The haphazards hurt the most; those that landed head first
They burrowed into the soft fur, grizzling through
Lack of gripe water to anaesthetise the first cut
Fur ***** were out of stock, cleaned right off the shelves

The posters painted with high definition, torn with sad
Hand shakes. Lined up ******* into fists, like used tissues
Their eye level aim skimmed the parcelled plots and slotted
Into basket cases, breathing in ***** dumpsters before their due date

Shrugging it off didn't work, shouldered earrings...stuck in rutted
Situ for too long. You came between them and the tombs of truth
Caused a nasty virus to accelerate. Baldness stole the soft
Funishings from your limbs in between the stuffing years

There will be a journey, a gathering of mixed herbs
Great swathes, buttressing mountains grazed with
Grassy wigs. Metal structures lining up calculating
The swing to left, to right, catching the intermittent gasps
The rhythm snakes me away, its rattling chorus marching
Ahead, spying on the quality of this paragraph sitting side by side
A vacancy on the page still wearing its white robe, alone for now
I searched out a chance at freedom on a fast track, borrowing scenes
From oiled pallets, hills & dells daubed grandiosely. They deliberately
Bait. Once bitten twice shy. I heard it bandied around.....but...
I am not shy of the wild dogs, howling is a lullaby.  I have the ticket
To be smitten with bitten chances; once, twice...maybe thrice
.....does it for me.

Meet me under the 'Clock Tower'.......’you said’ cold....
The missing sun hibernated, could not melt your denial
Your promise smudged, felt its docile absence
And I knew....gathered in moss, under the stone of lies.

Mistrust hung itself, swung above the entrance....rivalling
My happy cove.  It creaked to a heartbeat....b-bump, b-bump
Shelling out memories like peas. I recalled the very first time
I captured your eyes, the hesitation we felt......to blink and turn away

A thief stole and robbed the essence of you ......no stone
Unturned...I absorbed the waiting, dragged my heavy soles
Where is your foot print? Your imprint prescribed for my wellbeing
Two to be taken each day....preparing the cradles that rock my feet

Absurd, now I look back, that your word of promise...pretended
You named her "Constance", or was that the 'She woman'
I glimpsed you attached to last week.  When huddled
Together under your 'love' umbrella, soaked in one another

The bracelet curled around your wrist
skin embracingly ornamental....representing
eternity.  I remember when we shopped
windows lit up to enhance the jewelled effect

Wore bright smiles, coats that salvaged
hid the chill from our bones. The cold air paid
a high price to gatecrash our sentiments,
it did not succeed and skulked off to bite

into the heart of one whose flesh was delicate
who wore woes, like parrots clinging to
Shoulders of pirates at sea...all at sea...for dear life
Clearly slipping in and out at sea level
I saw them pegged out, unaware of those tagged
Expressions, labelled on the outside
And me, fingers grasping the secret of our love
Affair, bought and paid for in gold

I sat with a blue emblem of bruised hollows
Voice....fractionless in the gap between words
Fresh out of rhymes caught up in a grey scenario
Sellotaped up for the time being.  Until 'They' create the story
Board.  Temporary measures, I called in its truth
Asked it to surface.  It could not; remaining submerged
Seeping into human unknowns.  I sprinkled an ounce of
Salt on the wound.  It stung like hell, in healing hibernation
The billboards flapped their curiosity, taking on the sellers
Argument. Advertising its limits, search parties calling
Out to investigate.  We sat down with disbelief, about what,
We were unsure.  Clusters of acidic thoughts back dropped
Our vantage point and poured sour silence into our sentences
The near on tragedy catered for by reapers in hooded outcomes
Sell me another box of tricks I asked, one I can enter into without
Criminalising your purchase, slinking off on a day trip of borrowed time

When we left, the anger was courageous
Tears shrugged off their ducts and ran a river  
And so....it was an adopted day. Lopsided
Out of kilter, hard boiled, the reflux swallowed

Spite spat out its tabloid journal and spanked me
A chancer on a long haul flight of emotion. A broken limb
A ball of 'Nastiness' bit into my flesh. Stamping dishonesty
A clear winter blue sky......guarding its frosty secret

The guns shot their bullets, cracking the air between us
Hitting the eye of the bull.  The red rag waved at a tangent
Calling in all favours.  Bystanders gorged.  Rubber necked
As your heart parted company with your soul and bounced

When you undid the latch, the safety catch broke and hit the floor
Purged. Vented. Filling the air with blemishes. The stars fell
Short of their place in the universe; befriended and hung out
With blackened bark as debris hit. Now minus will only equal minus
                                                           ­                                                              .......equal minus

When words fail and the song dies in your soul
The soft cushion weighs heavy, threadbare, when
Dust invites the attic attack to the last memory stroll
A fretful protest march accompanying the wood grained heart

You noticed the space in short supply, with tight breath, the
Expert bargaining skills have begun, bypassing
The weak hearts, those that are still journeying
Their healing held up in tight palms of moistoned skin

And the slide into another day begins, dreadfully
With arched pain barriers drumming their morning
Beat. Occupational hazard was on the rampage
Cracking skull caps from their skinned residence

I shone a light into the acute grey tone of those
Hearts, those whose shapes lost conviction as the light
Shot arrowed tongues from the deaf interiors of wise men
Out on the town of feeble failings, they held nothing as their companion

She looked over the rim of her spectacles
Wrapping me in cellophane yesterdays
I left the room, did not digest left with right
As my mind yanked my coat from the peg
Leaving tear stained finger prints on the locker door

Wedged between the garden gate a bird sat
Its wings trapped in suffocating feathers
Broken tips flapped its tomorrows into yesterday
Dreamt the belief it could fly with mother nature

Its back eyes spelt fear, with beaked entrapment
I was used to seeing the bird on a wing...soaring
I did not know its fairy tale ending....watching
I saw someone whisk it away, a bundle of cotton cloth

I wonder if it fell out with nature as I fell short
Of 'Miss' with her desire to teach the fan dango
To those that wouldn't learn.  The french parrot laughed
In my day dream, as she threw a missile on the wings
Of a near miss chalk board duster.......

The doorstep scrubbed, grubby handed efficiency
Good management goes on in there, orderly, it is the
Sign of no sign....announced by the doer. Occupants of
The 'Jones' style.....in the winners running, never runner up
Bristles beat a pace to be admired, white washed
Tablets, daily habits, neglect pegged out, whipped
Away by the gusty gales of 'not here you don't'
And you daren't dare to dare, to leave the grime n grit
To stare you out, it wins, skyscraping banners high up
Enough so they'll be witness to your shame face as
You try to hide real skin.....chapped into slavery

She stood, amidst tutts, wore a mini skirt...
(From the first decade).  Took a
Step forward, pioneering the teenager
Long fair hair, parted mid section
Cascading over her cherry cupcakes
Remembering first impressions aren't always
Accurate, they still berated her without
Knowing her.  First appearances were all
They knew and could rely on...back then
Why would she wear a skirt so short if
Respectability meant anything, closed off
They too had been judged, time dulling
Their posture straight backed.  Space lacked
Room to be filled with meanderings of another
Era, balancing her book atop red curls and
Speckled egg skin.  Recalling the longing
Admiration of someone who dared to wear
Their inner choice on the outside

If you could encapsulate a precise feeling
Enlarge it, breath it in, hold it for a little
Longer....wrap you arms around it.....
                                                         ­        what would it be....?
Would it be a crystalised memory?
                                                                ­a
Photograph worn at the edges from long ago
Held touches pristinely varnished?
                                                      ­          a
Song captured mid verse? whose notes bear witness
Forever black stalks glooped in circular feet

Would it be....
                                                          ­       a
Atmospheric winged horizon, caught out as a bubble
Links the past
Yet here, what would be the exact nature of your
bubbliography?
                                                                ­ a
Winged bird, a pleasure dome, soft far off yonderings of
                                                              ­   a
Soul searcher locating peace everlasting
But...what peace?....dare I ask you...would you give up for another

Handing you choice, choose one to......
                                                        ­            hold with memories

Stagecoach trundled, rutting, wheels
Soily grasp, grabbing at the earthy recipe
Cart....horsing around the outdoorsiness
Ferris wheel spun, gathering passengers
To overlook the show ground, smattered
Four legged races, saddled with encumbents
Bobbing in display formation.  Far above
I caught sight of circular ribbons emblazoned
Lapels holding onto prize winners, suffering
The pin ***** jabbing at willing winners
Left foot first, hopscotch to the flap of tarpaulin
Billowing their precious overgrown greatness
Of perfect vegetalia, proud, excessive....of the
Dinner plate variety.  Don't touch their polished
Surface, they deliberately await photographic
Validation; future growers, challenging champion
Chompers, terrorising super-veggie heros
I wonder what becomes of former ground growers
Do they take a back stage bow? Uprooted with
Those of a lesser kind, jostling for saucepan space

I worked my way up the charts
Made it to the top, I parked myself
Along the way, in some over zealous
Shallow right angled sentence, lacking
Full stops. Stripped clean, washed of
Thought, of deed. 'Inability' dangling
From fingertips that were bitten to the
Quick, sore from chewing on anxious..
Lyrics, repeatedly playing.  I forgot
To lift the stylus and hang it up to rest
And so it played on...and on...and on
I lost touch with its hiccup....sinking
To some far off disconnection.  If I try
To recall...it blinds me, my right eye
Out of focus with my left, seeing
The unseen; but if you asked me what
That meant...perhaps I'd sigh without
Knowledge, perhaps I'd smile with knowing
Nothingness, perhaps I'd scream with
Insufficient lungs, perhaps I'd sing an
Unknown melody....that repeats and repeats
                                                         ­                   ......its hiccup...beatless

© Laura Susan Smith

You know that bloke who's been
Around for years, the one everybody
Sees....no one knows
The one we've all past by forever

We strolled with complacent familiarity
Couldn't tell you his name, infact nothing
About his life, loves, home, work....
Assumption that he's down and totally
Out....done for could be imminent
For all anyone cares.

Oh yes it's him again.

Oh haven't seen him for a while

Someone said....."He's still around somewhere"

Someone else said "Didn't you know he used
To be someone?"

Wasn't he always someone....?

Did you know he died?

Well actually....no
                                 did anyone?