you know me well
better than I would want
you are spiraling away
a shell
an embittered core
and you don’t want me in your life anymore
I hid what I could
and it would have only gotten harder
as the years went by
i have to break through the surface
stop protecting myself

and have an amazing life

it is all so uncertain
it seems we have no control
fate is up to others
to the wind
and to the snow
i am hanging onto you
feeling dependent
and feeling small
how can i compete in this world at all

i hope you have an amazing life

my life is in checking account balances and impulse receipts
work with no meaning
defeated in defeat
a lover with no love
*** and coffee in the mornings
warming my hands in its heat
avoiding all connection
in everyone i meet


i came here awhile ago
i never meant to stay
life took hold of me
living stayed away
stuck in joyless wonder
thinking of worlds far away
while the home you gave me
had no place to stay
i’m empty and displaced
you sit and stare
i gather my things and leave words in the air
when all i should have ever said was

I love you and I hope you have an amazing life

i can’t commit to commitment
not to walls not to milk
not even to the crazy
in which my life is filled
i miss your skin at night
all those moments i can’t have back
when love fades to grey
the white seeps in
and slowly fades the black

we had an amazing life

I miss you Michael