Sitting on cloud nine,
Having the time of my life,
"Woah, wait, what's going on?"
I felt a sensational push,
Who could it be?

My heart was racing, my heartbeats pulsating, I knew I was going to die.
Was it he, who supposedly have created me;

The clouds were beautiful and fluffy, the earth stood still, tiny specks of trees and oceans,
My eyes grew wider than my cranium, The earth grew bigger as fast as I got closer.

"Holy crap, wake up!! We're falling!!"
My body seized with spasmodic tremors, as I saw a patch of dirt with a tombstone that read, 'Here Lies Nephillim'
Who the hell is that?
Was that my name?

Hearing laughter from high above me, passing through the kaleidoscope of neon colors, i questioned the big man upstairs,
"Why are you doing this??"
Sadly, I was being kicked out of heaven;
"Sorry kiddo, you didn't make the cut, maybe next time!"
Talk about a cruel world, kicked to the curb.

No wings to guide me home, i panicked; Screaming at the top of my airless lungs
Feeling objects hitting my hands, something pulling at my hair, yet was I still asleep, or passing through a psychotic daydream,
Drool and sweat pouring out of me, oh wait that could be tears also, heh.

Even in my time of space, I'm still a smart-***, rebellious, still trying to be free.
Now I see a giant clock the small hand is counting by seconds,
"Wait, I only have seconds to remember their faces?"
Questions ran past me as i continue to glide to earth,
Yet the hour hand finally stroke twice, feeling stuff hitting my body as i dropped,
"Ow!!"
Control.
Steady..
This will hurt badly...
Buzz Buzz
A giant bumblebee?
Nothing still just a noise....
Buzz Buzz
"What's the point of no return?"
Teacher
"Have a nice weekend, have fun and be safe!!"
Still falling....
I felt a sudden thud upon my head.
"WAKE UP!!"
Slowly opening my eyes....
"Huh, oh sh*t, whew, it was just a dream."

I'm your chaos to my peace,
Yet we're Yin & Yang
We belong together;
That glass pipe and that rock.

Whenever I pull your long skinny neck to my lips, I inhale your sweet toxicity, it's like my new liquid courage.

24 hours later,
We're still talking ingredients of how our lives entwine between the havoc and tranquility.

You've walked within my shoes,
Not understanding why,
Many questions,
And he needs answers,
His dreams are blank
Confusion,
yet dictating his love.

Fights,
Argumentative
Sadness
Guiltless
Apologies
Then repeat all over again


The nightmares are getting closer as you're waiting to find me,

Not this time..

I'm done with the pain, I'm tired of your lies.
Funny thing how you called me your daughter,
I don't know who you are, I know you and I have few resemble features, Yet the pain, the anger;

I take in another long take,
This is the hardest escape...
I want to pick up and ******* run,
Keep running as I know my past is with me,
Trying to drag me down, yes, the fear is settling near...
Not this time, It will be finished where it first began

This is the hardest escape as I see myself,
Packing up my house,
And fleeing just for my sanity but mostly for my freedom,
You don't own me...
You can no longer put me on display,
I'm not your trophy,
I'm going to end this in two ways,
Your time in Jail, Or I'll be ******* on your grave.

The hardest escape is keeping myself alive and away from you.
Now my life is rolling in and out of that Rollercoaster..
You say you loved me, yet you killed me when I was merely a child,
You stole my innocence,
That little girl trusted you the most...

And now I'm finishing up this glassware
The rock is liquidity,
Puff puff, and **** after each dancing flame
The feeling of the smokey contents deeply being inhaled,
The innocent daughter is gone, she's older
Struggling to understand why she's misunderstood, and afraid

Where the thoughts of a bullet popping through your head,
Yet it can't be done or finished with her.

It will be finished with me, you're evil,
I told you that you couldn't hurt me again,
Yet I don't know my eldest daughter.

She's here,
Yet feels so alone,
Whenever he touches her,
Always fighting back,
Emotional and afraid.

Now that glass is laying across her lap
Burning flesh,
Her eyes dilated,
Her words strong filled with hate,
Sorrowful and tearful
Trying to find the answers to questions
That you have done to her,
Constantly heading in circles
Exhaling the last of her breath

Her eyes are filled with hatre
Her heart now bitter,
You could've done,
Your daughter a favor...
And never return.

Now 30 plus years later
Many nightmares
Not one chance to be a mother
Not even being a father,
that you never was,
Only the monster,
She fights daily

The easiest escape from your evilness
Is to disappear from the grid
Yet that new rock
Brings out the passion of my mother.

This final taste that lingered on her lips and skin,
Powdery
Salty
Intense
Addictive
Yet is her final phrase
Divorcing this curse,
She's leaving you.
Goodbye....

I felt the blood falling down my arm;
I know that I've sinned,
But the suffering has ceased
Loud noises fill throughout the crowd,
Sirens and screams
Looking down over my lifeless body, where are you?
Everything is getting blurry, my eyes are heavy, Death settles here.
The cut is deep where Stitches can't touch, Aids is a slow death, This Razor Blade is quicker.

I'm trying to speak, but my throat is draining;
Tears are dried up, Rusted.
Emotions are fading, I'm free, But shall spend eternity in Hell.

He knows that he won, he laughs, he knows the pain that has been bestowed upon me, **** and ******, His evil plan to forever control, and I'm here dying alone.
The pills never took the pain away, My friend found the bottle empty beside me, he called 911, The pills were forced out, my body was pale, yet lips were blue.
Where's my husband, while I'm in this alleyway, my heartbeats are sitting still, no more breaths, rigor mortis is settling into my corpse;
This razor blade is my salvation, where thy body is still clothed, yet i was born naked.
Angrily, I threw up my hands and yelled at the world, "I give up on everything!! But mostly You gave up on me, all the fights meaningless and hurtful, I left you because I was afraid of the nightmares, I grew tired of the arguments, where you had little faith within us. I killed myself tonight to say goodbye cruel world, because Depression is here and it's not leaving my mind, the thoughts of regret and people trying to out me, I'm sorry but my heart aches every time you touch her, why her, what does she have that I don't? What can she do for you that I haven't done?"

Now the crowd is looking for the person who killed me last night, some suspects it was the husband, others think it was an affair with the best friend, they didn't realize that it was me, i took that razor blade from the store, I am tired of being treated as if A puppet, I'm done, tired of hurting.

With this letter of my defeat, this last cut, can't be survived by my torn body, Goodbye cruel world, The clouds are beautiful with glitter, i look down as I'm gliding higher, my face is pixilated, forbidden to be seen by mortals,
Yes, I have wings now, Black as Coal; Sorrowful, apologizing.
Forgiving yourself, you stop by my grave, slowly kneeling down using the cane that i carved for you, The razor blade that laid across my tombstone was dull and needy, You cried out for forgiveness, yet you couldn't see me beside you, touching your shoulder, weeping with you.
Leaning towards your old aged ears, whispering.
"Now can you see her, she's been lost without your help, you laughed and tortured her soul, and all you have left is regret." He cried blood tears into his left hand, as soon I turned around looking at the Angel of Death, the old man took that same Razor blade and dug it into his flesh, and he saw me,
My wings white; Forgiving, Survival
My Nightmare was officially over with,
Until the day he killed himself in a daydream after husband and i Divorced each other.

The thrive of money was the cause of my suffering, now not anymore. I'll continue to be me, Free.