The rustic handles… they bind me to the folded cards
The counterfeit the cryptic sky that discerns my creeded disreflections
Steal the missing pieces to the puzzle of my approving gullibility
And let the friendly ghost keep my soul of exceeding sorrows

Let my mind be released form your own created prison
Place a hand in front, so the guilt will continue to circulate
The pressure of the weight of words that couldn’t escape the lips in time
Seem to be the reason to why I’m lifted so high far above from being heard

Spoken refrains vanquish the frights that abducts what is fine
And the heart that always attempts but can never be mended
And here you were, leaving me warnings
There I was disregarding the consequences

Your idea
And my cooperation
Counts the end to the stall of faults that have been further stained
They start to catch up
And begin to taint the sanctum of all thoughts
Becoming flogged
Every movement a precise digestion  

But with a single offering you perfected the mess
Perfected the sinned humanity
Perfected everything
Leaving me behind
A broken lost mishap that shouldn’t have been brave enough to take a single breath in this world
And shouldn’t have been foolish enough to think that it could amplify the little emotions that I managed to posses
But in the end my worst mistake was thinking that I was even close to being considered

A real human

The concealed masked faces that no one sees through
Brutally attacked by unintentional words
The denseness of humans as they just laugh it all
Don’t sense any issue but it’s not like they try
Every word of pure ignored conversations
Keep the feelings caged in
No one sees
No one bothers
No one cares
I feel as if the barriers accumulate over time
And the people around don’t attempt to pull me back through
I think that loneliness just applies as an excuse to reassure myself I’m not depressed
I’ve seen the way happiness fades as soon as I make a wrong play
Allowing the droplets of sky’s tears to hide my own
Along with the shamed bitter coward that rests just beneath the mask
Just let me rot on the inside till on the surface it shows
And let the ants that were around me feel the guilt
Because by now they’ve seen the arrows that have been embedded in my heart
And the ice that have enclosed the pierced scars
No one hears
No one tries
They just turn their heads and sigh
They brush it off
While I take a pill
In order to leave a dreaded life that I don’t need
And a world in which I don’t believe
Let me spread across the horizon
Allow these blinded eyes to truly see
and let my flailing colors plague your sky

Those pointless conversations that you tried to force upon me wasn’t for my benefit
I know
Because it’s out of pity
And out of self-debt that you’ve put on yourself
I can see through it all
And I can see how you try so unbearably hard to believe in the counterfeit personality that you mentally devised
It won’t work on me
And it’s not for me

It’s never for me

Because what’s inside now… is nothing
I’m only a shell
Only a ghost
Because after all
Ghosts are only the shadows of outdated humans

Cast in a world that’s divided in two
I fall
I fade
And watch as I see your memories shatter and be forgotten in front of my eyes
Recollection of my own flash before me
And for a moment
It’s as if I’m dying
And these are my last thoughts...always of her

I feel the shadow of my past self, withering
Falling to the force of the cloaks of darkness
Just this once I am capable of crying
I’m losing feeling as I pound my fist to the tree
Lack of interaction my skin grows raw and untouchable
This is what I made myself into
This is what I'll have to live as
Into the life of her forever bonded nemesis
nothing more and nothing less

But I  knew in that frame of melted frozen timed space
in the bottom of my heart I knew that she was saying ‘Thank you ’ with all her might
But that’s not what I wanted to hear
I wanted screaming
I wanted a savor
I wanted her to give me something to hold on to for the eternity of a burden that I cast you out of and used myself as the sacrifice

Repeat those three words once and I’ll let go peacefully
But I never got them
And now a war is coming
I can’t contain the emotions as they boil above my level
Exceeding past my limitations
And prying open my inner door

I will be the sacrifice
I will take the suffering
As long as she thinks of me as long as she doesn’t forget me
Everything cannot be lost
Even if the memories are false
Even if they're formed for the exact purpose of her hatred towards me

I know I hope you’ll see past the barrier of the counterfeit memories I replaced in you
And instead of hatred I get the love that was once returned
But whatever I had devised in prison I incaged myself into I start to realize that reality of the game I have created

But I saw in your expression
As the space grew larger between
That all there was, was agony
Maybe for me
Maybe for both of us
But not the spark of what I wished for

You will be set free
I will take the burden
You can be the key
But I know you won’t remember
So I will never remember anyone
I will never be close to anyone
I will never I will never
          Get out.

I will never let them hear
I will never believe in that long lost savor

But light the candles
Cage my past
And never let anyone


know.

The mind of a black whole is one that’s continuously misunderstood
The eyes of planets, so cold and complex that they frighten those around
The soul of a demon but the conflicting true nature seeps in to stop the revolving time swarm from swallowing you in full
The overpowered burden of the depth of your past keeps the boiling revenge up on edge
The hands of Satan, cursed by fate and drenched in crimson of not yours, not mine, but all humanities.
The past on tradition has now been broken of where the flame dies and the ashes blow
But tradition is for the past, for others whom enjoyed, I’ll make our own tradition where the flame burns to ember and lives on forever
I provide the freedom to your chained personality and set it free, set you away from your own mind prison
You might be looked as a monster, a thing to be erased for existence but inside your shell is the one I need
Behind the mask that was given to you
Behind the life that you were brought into
Do not question your existence even though you’ll soon forget
Your existence is the meaning to all life around, and while I take your scarring memories and make them my own, I’ll replace them with me as your target,
Your reason for living
Your reason to fight
Your reason to learn
And your reason not to fade into an afterlife of separated thoughts
As long as you have a goal, as long as I know you’re safe I can still say to you everything that I’ve always wanted
And in a single moment I’m capable of crying
The cringing of my shattered breaths as I see the memories fade and evolve into someone that no longer knows me
No longer remembers me
No longer remembers that this curse I broke was not chosen by anyone but me
All there is now is hate
I’m such a hypocrite
I see the sadness in her eyes and express it on my face
And the lump in my throat is created by all of the many things that I have wanted to scream at that moment but sealed shut and swallowed
And in unbearable, unforgettable pain and guilt of not finding a better solution it stays there undecaying
Waiting for karma to find a punishment suitable enough for someone who was as much as a coward as me who stole his own life from himself
Turning his back on being human and suffocating the emotions that lie within him but allowed three words to escape his lips
I love you, I say as I watch your wide eyes vanish beneath the counterfeit heart I replaced in you
But it was the only way
As I ripped his love away from him but sheds the tears of the ghost of my former self
But that was before, my before self
My dead self
But it’s only a shadow as I’m taken in by darkness
Only thoughts now is how to destroy the life that once flowed in myself but still lingers
But it won’t show, because after all ghost of my past is only the outdated version of

myself

These hands that live in an unknown era, belong to an unknown boy and this, known to none, is his fairy tale…
These hands resemble those who have done unspeakable crime… that is and only is their existence alone
These hands wish use fingers interlock like a zipper with the missing link that caused the shattered life they live in, to turn into reality
But these hands alongside the bleak rhythm of their thumping heart have nothing to be sad about the life that was handed to them and worn by others too… for they’ve never known the kindness after a scolding nor the warmth after rain that had long ago ceased to exist in this place
Yet these hands are chilled to the bone… stained by the unidentified emotions of its owner
These hands grow swollen by the fears that pours itself into the stream of your down pouring consciousness and go within the veins that’s filled with such little substance
These hands are cursed with motionless fingers… forbidden to contact the outside realm in which where memories are cut out and sold
These hands will carry the burden of its own self and the shadows will forever more cascade beyond just the outer shell of its hollow being and into the ringing echo of the inside
These hands know nothing, and long for a pang of a tune that hasn’t gone mad
These hands hang low in the depths of a withered black rose with the scars etched from the inside out and make up for the lost voices that were supposed to tell this wilting tale
These hands that live in such sickening violence and endless scorn without their noticing you stood there always, forbidden to speak but never dared to stray away from the common sunlight
These hands that only pray for your safety, ponder upon the thought of you won’t stop… why won’t you stop? You know that if you’re found you’re flame will be distinguished from this warp of time
yet ‘let’s leave together ’ you led me away even though they was so self-convinced that there was nowhere I could belong  but without a chance to go against your will, you led me into the sinking sunset and allowed only me to vanish into the air
These hands that now will only know the emptiness that they have been exposed to and how the one fragment of light was stripped from their grasp
These hands long for the one thing that’s beyond anyone’s control to obtain in this supposed free world of his own
These hands want you
These hands that had once learned how to touch caringly has now forgotten that most important part of being human because their sole purpose for surviving,
for considering,
for struggling to regain what they once contained, once found and expanded within them has been
disintegrating
and has long disappeared into  their own sadness of sorrows
and now all feelings of others… of their self and  of you…
have ceased to exist
These hands that
for the last moment of life before they snapped into the will of the devil, a tear falls from the owners eyes as the words come out
“What’s your name? I love you...”
And at that moment these hands that had forever longed to link with yours and has been cursed by tainted fate, lose their self and fall into the palms of the prince of darkness…
and now drip with a crimson color that’s not mine… nor yours, but all humanities
For what?
To fill the dark void that has consumed their heart?
They don’t know…
For these hands have been struggling to revive their memories as they look at your pleading face
Your afraid… of me?
My hands tremble as those hands of yours form a shield… an ‘x’…creating a barrier between us
These hands had worked so hard to preserve our past that only contains you… ended up bring the fall to our history
‘I’m sorry’ you may say but these hands have forgotten
These once open hands are tightly shut and have realized they’re at their end and the color is now far too unreachable
And with one flick of a wrist…these hands end of your fate
These hands aren’t beating…
.
.
.
These hands know nothing… anymore

The chill of nothing washes along the shore of your fear
It comes without warning

Slowly…

Leaking…

Into the depths of your own despair
filling the nights with the chime of depression
and lighting the days crime of corruption

The Seasons hide beneath the ground
Crowned and found they may be
But
You are from the underside, the outside
Not the inside

You can’t belong along with your proven lies and empty truths

You want to find a way?
A way to break out of this innormality of yours?
Well, listen closely
For the key to the  bounds of these old surroundings will whisper the lost melodies
Can you get there?
Along with the dragging memories that have been long forgotten?
Or will you continue to think in the other direction?
To only find yourself
Reaching

inside

the labyrinth of your weaving thoughts to only find your heart still beating
How?
Why is it you won’t die?
Ha… you ask too many questions