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Lapis Solarflare Jun 2014
Hush child,
don't you know?
You're in your youth,
so you can't complain.
You can't be tired,
you shouldn't be sad.
Because there are those
who are worse off then you.
So that makes your problems VOID.

Stop whining.

...

Now my side.
I am turning 21 in a month's time.
I'm considered anything from
a child...
a teen...
a young adult...
whatever suits your tone at the time,
since I don't control my own life.
I scrape my knee,
or cut my wrist.
I stay up late,
or work too much.
I buy too much,
or I'm never out with friends.
What would you have me do?
Please tell me,
because what is "free"?

I'm tired,
I'm sore,
but if I complain in your confidence,
you just look bored.
Sorry that I trusted you.
I'm sorry to complain.
I'm so sorry that I saw you as an equal,
while you failed to do the same.

This "poem" won't always rhyme.
Mine never do.
But maybe that's just not good enough for you?

But I'm NOT sorry to say...
that it's NOT your place,
it's MINE.
It's my life, and my sadness, and my pain,
or my happiness, and my wealth,
and SOME DAY I won't let you push me around.
I'll stop treating you nicely
and you'll be offended,
because I'll defend myself,
because you AREN'T my equal,
because you never look at me that same as I look at you.

I'm not a child and I'm not a teen.
I'm not an adult.
I'm just me.
But I'm not you.
And you aren't me.
So when I choose to trust you and open my heart
and share my pains,
just nod my way and say
"I understand."

Because once upon a time, you were my age,
and you looked at the world like it would never love you
or accept you.
Like you were
a child...
a teen...
a young adult...
but never you.
Just whoever they wanted you to be at the time.

So PLEASE,
UNDERSTAND.

I'm not complaining to offend you,
I just want to share our struggles,
and meet an accord,
so we can be equals.
I don't want to fight anymore.
I'm not a child.
And you aren't an adult.
We're humans, and at some time in your life,
you were the same as me.
Just give up on my "poetry"/"prose" making sense, or whatever you'd call it... lol. I'm mostly just venting in general, so I don't care much about my writing structure. But hopefully someone'll read this and like it.
Lapis Solarflare Jan 2014
I used to be a master of masks, but now I can't even properly feign disinterest.

The moment I started giving a ****, I lost any semblance of clarity I had in my mind.

I used to know what I wanted, but now, I'm just not sure anymore.
Lapis Solarflare Aug 2013
If you're trying to keep me safe,
why do I feel like I'm dying??
Lapis Solarflare Aug 2013
You can tell me I'm okay
as much as you want,
but that won't
make it true.
Lapis Solarflare Aug 2013
That familiar burning is back again.
The moment when my tears come when not wanted,
but I can't stop.

A few small words hurt me again,
but isn't that all it takes?

I wonder often why I'm still here--
why I haven't thrown myself away...

I guess I'm scared...
but not of death,
just of people being disappointed in me.
But I guess they always are anyway.

A little love...
A little positive encouragement...
A little care and effort from the people I actually want it from.
Is that so hard?

I guess it is...
Sorry for being selfish.
If I could give up so easily, I would,
but I can't,
so I just scream and cry
in hopes to be heard and understood,
but that's crazy, huh?

At least I tried.
Lapis Solarflare Aug 2013
I am not a product.
Don't bottle me,
I'll DIE.
Found some poems I wrote one night a few months back when I was feeling down. Figured I'd post them, since I really like them~
Lapis Solarflare Aug 2013
4 years pass and I still find myself dreaming of you.
Your eyes are the sky and your chocolate brown hair is soft as the clouds.
You left me for her, a girl with mirth and shiny blonde hair.
She became your sun, her warmth something you craved to hold.
And I, the earth below, like my hazel eyes and red-brown hair.

Isn't it ironic? The earth looks up, reaching for the sky, while the sky reaches further away for the sun's warmth.

But my relationship with my sky is still connected,
as even while he reaches for the sun,
I catch his raining tears and hold them dearly,
letting his feelings wash over me.
I give him the air and colorful world to look down upon,
to cheer him up and dry his tears.

It hurts when the sky then reaches again for the sun,
seen again as his clouds move from his face,
and blesses her with pleasantries of drying his tears with her warmth.
And the earth watches sadly in vain,
catching the sun's lingering rays in hopes to borrow her warmth
and reach the sky she so dearly loves.

But when the sun sets, resting till morn,
The sky and the earth converse in a dark chatter,
Cooling and calming together.

This time we have,
a time I cherish.
The sun is gone, and I the earth, can feel the sky hug me in return, and in wait.
And even though at certain hours, the sun returns and showers her warmth,
the earth will always be below, lying in wait,
and sending the moon to light the darkness,
the hopeful friendship of a wilting flower refusing to die,
watered by the tears of a lover lost to the sun.

Time will pass and the earth will never stop hoping
for the roles to reverse,
for the sun to reach it's warmth to the sky,
while the sky reaches its expanse of blue and cool, shady clouds
back to the earth that forever loves him,
causing beautiful meadows to bloom in the process.
What am I even doing, gosh ;~;

*ahem* Anyways~ I felt like writing about my ex-boyfiend who's recently returned to my life, but I didn't want to be quite so straightforward about it, so I instead used imagery, in some sort of way.

Hope you all like it, and thanks to anyone who reads! <3 ^u^
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