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 Jan 2014 Lame Poet
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There is something about the way a feather hits the ground that sounds surprisingly similar to glass breaking and there are so many things I need to tell you but the words all dance in my head behind a mental block and they swirl with songs about broken boughs and fallen cradles and realizing this hits me harder than the day you realize that Ring Around The Rosie is about the Black Plague (I'm sorry for ever telling you that you were the childhood innocence I always wanted) but I suppose nothing can ever be as pure as a pair of turtle doves and I always imagined myself as a pigeon cooing at your feet while you sprinkle your affection like bread crumbs — always plentiful but always in your control — and I am always cooing, cooing for you, cooing even if you wrung my neck like your hands when you are nervous and you are always clipping my wings with those persuasions to keep me around and incapable of flying away or even imagining a home anywhere unless it is perched on either of your broad shoulders and I accept that; I have never been a songbird with anything lovely to croon about and while smoothing out my feathers I know why the caged birds sings and it's because all the birds that cry get their necks broken.
 Jan 2014 Lame Poet
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my throat is a forest fire,
a burning map that never leads to
'the depths of virginia'

your hands are made of water,
icy cold and haunting and
I don't know what else to say except
"please"

I sometimes think that we should have a history book
rewritten with our names, because I'll be ******* if
we are not rewarded for the way we forget about our past

I WONDER IF WHAT WE TALK ABOUT AFTER MIDNIGHT
HAS ANY IMPACT ON THE WAY YOUR HEART BEATS AND IF
IT DOES IS IT WATERED DOWN BECAUSE OF BEFORE
AND I WANT TO KNOW IF MY WORDS HAVE THE SAME
EFFECT ON YOU AS YOURS ON ME AND I WANT TO SWIM
in the James River and forget how to sway my limbs around to float

this is not a love poem
this is not an "I miss you, come back" poem
this is a confession
this is a love letter
written on the palms of my hands because I know
you'll never get over how badly they shake

maybe I'm confused or lovesick or homesick
for a home that can only be found inside of warm chests
but I needed to write this for someone, for myself

maybe my questions don't need answers,
maybe they just need to be heard.
It was in an empty hall
I heard the crack
It was like,
Glass shattering.
My smile
The picture of seventh heaven.

I heard the sound,
A child’s laughter.
The very essence of
Childhood.

A girl in ivory silk.
A bouquet of Cypress and Thistle.
Took hold of my hand,
her’s feeling like
reapers mirth.

In the graceful steps
of a dance
We waltz though the halls.
In the distance
I hear the chatter of life,
as it mourns of its
Forsaken Child.

I walk down the cold hallways
the vibrant color of light
bleeding out
like bleach to
a stained world

The hooded man
collecting it as penance
He walks behind us
his aura dark as
my ivory girl.

She leads me to a
room covered in twin
Glass walls
Bars first positioned in front
only to keep oneself
from killing the Reflection.

As she leads me
to the center of the,
Glass castle

Worlds of delirium
reach to my body.
Touching, pulling, violating
Words of the glass reflection
that stares back
and takes
my every movement.

As I stare again,
I see my ivory angel
she giggles in the reflection
sounding like chiming bells.
Her skin pure
like a porcelain doll

She cracks and shatters,
as my ears hear
The distant lament of lucidness.
The world blight,
Eroded to red.
Bittersweet mania,
flashed in my eyes.

I almost felt the kiss
of fragmented
Reflection
Scarlet,
dancing with
me in metallic glory,
As I fell through the Glass Castle
of the hooded man’s laugh.
 Jan 2014 Lame Poet
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I shook hands with the monster under my bed tonight, correction: I dragged the monster out by his ankles and I introduced myself and I shook his hand. It was cold, and it felt like you. It was cold, and I wanted to hold it forever, I really did. Maybe it would make up for lost time and all those chances I never took with your fingertips when I had the opportunity.  The truth is, I didn't meet a monster. I met a childhood fear and some dust bunnies and a little bit of my own self; the truth is, monsters don't live under your bed because they lay beside you, under your sheets, at times on top of you, maybe they are spilling lies in your mouth and whispering secrets to your teeth, maybe monsters live in your mirrors, calling you names, maybe monsters touch you in your sleep, maybe monsters have big hands that feel like home but then you remember you're a runaway.
 Jan 2014 Lame Poet
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A love like pomegranate seeds — I am condemned to a mortal marriage with Death, waiting for his hands to touch me in the winter; I am stuck inside an autumnal equinox, waiting for the spring. My mind is a brothel — filthy and thoughts floating in and out but not looking for any sort of commitment. But you say that my brain is efflorescent and something lovelier than I would believe. There are cities in the palms of my hands, once teeming with life like the Great Barrier Reef, but now moan the silent sounds of desolation within a Chernobyl wasteland; but you are roaming the ashes atop my fingertips like a lost child trying to unearth the memories of her mother beneath the rubble of a shaken faith, despite knowing she was lost forever in the wake of brutal destruction, kicking me left and right as though I were the collapsed mountain of infrastructure in the wake of early September, 2001. I say all this to confirm that I do miss your voice and its fluidity on the phone — I miss your voice even though I know you'll hang up, and I wish I felt that way about living. I only want you to hold my sticky heart like melted candy.  I want you to stop sighing and slumping in your chair like the names of every Holocaust victim is engraved on your eyelids. I want you to smile like an innocent child, for once.
 Jan 2014 Lame Poet
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I'm going to love you like the floorboards do. I'm going to touch you like your bedroom walls never could; lay your forehead against me like the shower wall and try to recount every lie you ever told laying down. Your nails will hold me against the headboard in a dark act of crucifixion; I have been dying of your sins since before I understood that they were not the kinds that I should love, and perhaps this is not the kind of love that ends well on glossy pages but it is the only love I know. I was a nearly dead stray on your doorstep and you fed me pretty words from your hands like you knew how to take care of things that had no home (despite having never had one of your own). You know too well how your name sounds when your hand is on my knee, you know too well how your name sounds when you are coaxing the life out of me, as though my trachea were the back door of your apartment, and you know how deadly you are with a look on your face that burns like the candles in a chapel but never melts - I sit vigil over your dead body but your ghost is always touching me, you are always bringing out the worst in me and stretching it out like sheets over a ****** mattress and I cannot take care of myself and I am incapable of breathing until you are watching me.
 Jan 2014 Lame Poet
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Today, it snowed and it never snows here in this state and you told me once that this place was madness and I guess that's why we can't have snow because it is quiet and so gentle in nature and maybe we are just too noisy and inconsiderate and God knows we can never have anything white for too long without scuffing it up. I haven't been able to write anything like this about you in a while and for some reason I typed out an apology, about to press SEND like you even knew that I had anything to say about you in the first place. Once, when I was very small, I had a fever and my mother told me I was mumbling in my sleep like I was crazy but she didn't know at the time that I actually was, and somehow I don't think it's sheer madness to conclude that whether you believe in spirits in a bottle that grant your wishes or spirits in a bottle that can only pacify your misery for a night, neither can grant the wishes you may have made when you were cradling  your cheek and your mom was trying to assure that Daddy always loves you. Suddenly, it isn't so insane to think that the glass slipper on the stairs could become your heels on the sidewalk at 1:30 AM and fantasy fades into reality not in a flow of water color, but in an unexpected explosion, and I realize that once upon a time I thought was a flame but I was only on fire, and now all I am is smoldering.
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