Here I am
Again
By now you should know
I return
Always
To the place
Where I can be
FREE
Without judgements
Or constraints
The place of no guilt
For my feelings
Of everything
And
The one thing
I've learned
Is
I only thrive
Where there is
Continual change
Maybe it is me
I am
The force
They call by name

LIFE

What if everything from yesterday
Was meant to bring us here now
You and me
As life's circumstances and forks in roads, choices made
Maybe sending us the wrong way

Or right?
To create who we are today

Eternity lingers in your company
Promise as you take my hand
Daily fears ignite
Burn them down to ashes again

Shouts become whispers
Whispering into only echoes
Soon blown into oblivion
This ship to which we cling
Hold in tighter when I am sinking

As we ride surface waves
In view of the setting sun
At this point we realize
There is no end to what we have begun

He stood there
Disbelief
Jaw dropped in gaping surprise
As she moved from forgiveness to ignorance
Now in bliss to the truth of his lies
Laying no claim to the tangible
Love is not sewn with such thread
As a stallion races to open acres
With bit and bridle no longer lead
Waking to a world green
From a gangrene memory
Either one does or doesn't
Exultation in the acceptance of possibilities

I am alive and living
He is in the next place
I'm not afraid to go there,
For when I do I'll see his face
Much I do because he taught me
Much I love he loved too
His footprints now are the first frost And the summer's morning dew
Going on was nearly impossible
But now see him in everything
When I lose heart
His memory brings me strength
He wasn't just my first love
He was a man of integrity
He would do anything for anyone, regardless of the cost to himself
Even laid down his life for me
So many people touched
Who may have forgotten his name
Remain in my memory
I want to live the same
It takes 80 years for some
To learn what he already knew
I still miss him so much
A truth only understood by a few.

Always seems to be pressing
The needs for someone else
What I must do or don't do
Instead of time for myself

But today is a new day
No harm will come to me
For not serving another
And choosing what I need

Such freedom under my wings
Finally breath easily
The keys to my happiness
Alone reside with me

He never believed me
My love for him always turned me back
Never listened when I said
I could handle anything except this

So many times, so many demands
Considerate in the touch
But time for others in my life
Not so much

Funny thing is I thought his music, his hands
Would be what carried my mind back again
But instead it's that
**** missing tuna can

Never understood what I meant
Or how it stole my trust
To exploit the good and bad
Anything that should have stayed between the two of us

But when the pain of staying
Exceeded the pain of loss
Then being without him became easier
Than I had first thought

Funny thing is I don't think
You could ever stop, could ya?
Always invoking enough guilt
As if I owed you that can of tuna

Of all the beauty I see in you
And the things with others never shared
I hope winning the hurting game was worth losing it all
Because I just can't take the pain
Can't take the pain
Anymore...
No matter how much I care

When people really see you
No longer does it work
Tricks and strides to get inside
Used to let you off the hook
Make up rules as you go
Based upon your needs
At this point do you realize
Nothing stolen but given free
Passes that let you feel
Strategies invisible
Expired and replaced
With responsibility of real
From here on out transparent
As you knock for weaknesses in your walls
Benefit of the doubt has moved out
You are now held accountable for all

Hear this:
I know myself;
Better than you.

Whatever you decide doesn't apply
No matter how long you thought it through

See me:
I am not blind
To how I can be

Is it your illusion or are you just trying To make an excuse why I want to be free

Hear now
God's voice
Through out spirits move

When you try to pull me from Him You'll find I push away from you

Summer still in sight
My visions through the day
Passing by a window
As sunshine floods my way
Even the stray cricket
Intends on evening song
Imagining the same echoing in me
Warmth is where I belong
Today through mourning realized
While these moments spent
Yesterday has stolen
Today longing for it