I knew
Somehow I knew
That I would love the way you smelled.
I knew that I would love the way you kissed;
Somehow I knew
That night that I first saw you.

I also knew
What I would be getting into
If I let my already broken heart get broken again.

It's faint, but I can still hear you
Telling me that we wouldn't lose this.
Somehow I knew
That it was you that I needed to talk to.

Could you hear me?
When I said that I think you fit?
I am not sure exactly
What you fit into, but you do.

I knew before I knew you.
I am not sure what I know right now.
Diamond eyes and a poisoned mind
I'd like to take your demons from you.

#281

It’s like finding a heart that beats the same as yours

When really it’s the way you smelled when you met

The eyes that you couldn’t tear away from

The hands that looked so soft and easy to hold.

Hearts don’t know the first thing about love

It’s the way our bodies meet and touch

It’s glances at things that most would not notice

It’s brushing of fingertips on soft, bitten lips.

It’s memories that cannot be recreated

No matter how hard you try.

It’s feelings that cannot be described with words

It’s words that cannot be described with actions.

It’s uncontrollable heartbeats and smiles

Pulses and breaths and a little bit of sweat.

It’s almost like you can’t breathe.

So distracted, I’ve forgotten what they call it.


#282

She is the prettiest girl
Nothing would ever change that
It was a new place
And the sun rose above the mountains.
Locals covered the eyes of children
And Christian women cursed;
Something about this girl
Cast a shadow over the world.

Down at the Lakeview Cafe
Where the tips were generous
People caressed their cups
And spoke of that girl.

The clouds hinted snowfall.
"Dead," they say.
"Probably not an accident."
A single snowflake landed.
If it could, her blood would tingle.

She was the prettiest girl.
Nothing could ever change that.

#4

I don't like the words that rhyme with 'throat.'
Mostly because I don't know anything about an oat
I think that a goat probably smells pretty bad
And I would rather swim in the ocean than to be in the boat.
There are more words, I'm sure, that rhyme with 'throat'
The words I want to use, don't.
Simply, I'd like to wrap my fingers around your throat
Hold you down with all the anger you have caused me.
More time passes and I think that I have forgotten how badly you hurt me, inside and out.
I think that I am able to bury or release these thoughts and feelings but I'm not
And some say, maybe it's for a good reason.
Bruises fade, bones heal but emotional scars are the worst.

You are the worst.

Back to your throat, though, I could never sink that low
As beautiful as it may sound, when I clench my fists and grit my teeth, bracing myself for a series of memories that have scarred me forever, I could not waste such energy on you.
I've got my pen and I've got my pad and I've got the words that I use as weapons.
Simply, that's just good enough.

Like a faint whisper,
You flickered away from this world.
My hands tremble
Like miniature earth quakes;
My heartbeat is just a tick slower.
The wetness on my pale cheeks
May dry within the hours to come
But all I can think about
Is the last I saw of your face.
Soft creases lined your eyes
Whisps of the prettiest gray hairs
Hugged the tips of your ears.
You were making him lunch
Like you always do,
Wondering where we kept butter knives.
I can't remember if I told you how much I love you
I don't think I thanked you,
For my accidental Christmas gift.
I will never forget that you were there though,
I hold every memory closer than life itself.
Years gathered on your shoulders.
Time took life from your heart
And you parted with a peaceful last breath.
In my dreams, I talked with you.
I had a chance to say goodbye...
Like a faint whisper,
Your light flickered, then burned out.

#228
(This was read at my grandmother's funeral that I could not attend, unfortunately)

It's that time of year again
the changing season blows my mind
Crisp, morning air cools my soul
I embrace this brand new day.
I is a time such as this
that we think of all the right words
Often, it is far too late
To complete all the right sentences.
Oh, how I wish I could be there.
My thoughts just don't seem like enough.
As inopportune a time it may be,
I love you, I love you, I love you.

You can't see it, but the scenery is amazing.
Snow blankets the tops of the mountains
Tree leaves are orange and gold.
The sky, it's a gorgeous light blue.
This life was just the beginning for you.
I'm sure He has a thousand plans for you.
If I could hold you now, I would.
I pray that you'll fight and make it through
If not, I will see you in another life.
We will walk together forever.

#226

You remind me of the uncomfortable silence you get after it comes to the truth
And you always smell of the lies you produce
I am lost in a labyrinth when I think of you
I am crying because you never told me anything true.

I am sick with excuses and broken promises
Each day I would hope this lie was the last of this
The end of the first broken promise
The end of your unfaithful kiss.

I fell far from the pedestal I had you on
It's been 3 years since you've been gone
And I think of you when they play our song
But here at the end you are still all wrong.

#162

Rain-drenched clothing
A smile upon your face
Our hands are laced together
Lips upon one another
Hands may go where feelings take them
Cotton sheets and sweaty palms
Love is a verb tonight
Nothing could be better tonight
Dancing together by candle-light.
Rain-soaked sidewalks
Our shuffling feet
Arms linked at the elbows
No sounds on the street
You're in my soul
I'm in your dreams


#156

Snowy rivers and forest trees
Starry skies above my eyes
And a handsome fellow by my side.
Icicles are our only witnesses
To the guilt pleasures of a snowy night.

#142

I am leaping from this spot on pure Faith that you will catch me
In just moments, I will find out if Faith is something worth believing in
Time asked me to wait, and I agreed with him.
Now, I'm done waiting and have accomplished nothing.
This is why I leaped in the first place.

Patience whispered that she is a virtue
But I haven't figured out just what she means yet.
I believe I have been patient enough
And yet I fall asleep alone, I wake up alone
And I have never felt this lonely before.

Tomorrow says, he's another day.
A chance to start Things over;
Some Golden Opportunity
But he always comes and goes
Offering all Bad News.

But I will keep Faith and Patience by my side, hoping Time will tell someday
Whether I'll be lonely like this forever
Or if you will come back to me.

#128

The words left unsaid disappear under the shattered dreams of forever. You walk briskly, slicing the icy weather with each advance towards freedom. If you knew what you were running from, you'd reconsider the options. But if it weren't for the silent moments, I might not know your eyes are green and your write with your left hand.

The thought of losing gets me lost in thought. I though once, that forever was worth it. I though that was all I had and now that you've made your point clear. I depart the cold, stubborness of your heart. My hand trembles a little while working the door handle. Just a thought, but maybe so many things should have been said.

Deep down inside, I've heard the unsaid; felt it running through my veins. If only I felt to pursue it, I might have you in closer reach. Something I haven't said since, is sorry. Take it or leave it, but it's been said.

#73

Candle wax and fairy wings,
So I promised to love you.
I've never heard the angles sing
And I've never seen the view.
The midnight-caper stole my heart
And left a hunk of coal
My waterproof world fell apart
All I have left is what's in my soul.
Thank God for rain
And Satan for sand
All that's gone is my pain
With one quick flick of your hand.
No one decides your fate but you
Unless it was decided too soon.
Say what you say, do what you do
Only fools eat lunch at noon.

#43

Controlled by the desire to fit in and be liked
We're designed to go hide, not stand up and fight
Fake money, fake hair, fake smiles, fake lives
Controlled by the pattern of wake up and die.
Dreams and goals get left far behind
When we travel outdoors to try and find
The person we think we were raised to be
When really that person is you and me.
Controlled by the media and flash photography
Told we're useless, worthless and of no need.
Wear this, say that, be here at 3:00
Controlled, and no idea who we really see
When a mirror is set up in front of your face
Your body located in an unfamiliar place
Memories and dreams vanished without a trace
Controlled and left without saving grace.
Fit in, be liked, on your own accord
Life is too short to try and afford
What he says or she says is the norm
Controlled no longer by the human storm.

#271