Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
LACS May 2011
gravity rolls you down to the feeble drop
forced was your birth, but wanted
your progress stops.
I want to move you forward
I want many others to join you, in your fall
which is beautiful and stings when I want You.

you are fixed and itchy and I feel you most of all
past the moans and clutching fists.
I am without course now that you have been absorbed
never reaching the end and tickling the soft white flesh;
never reaching fabric in colors that You wear.
passing over muffled screams that no one hears
but those without lips, and those without thumb.

I want to cry more than you, little tear.
But you are all that comes, so sha'll you do?
Perhaps.
6th.

d-2 / g-0 / b-0 / e-0h2
a-3 / d-2 / g-0 / b-0
LACS May 2014
We used to spend time together,
sitting in your old green beater,
eating ice cream in the park                                                          3 6
I remember you never understanding
my preference for bubblegum and mint flavors over chocolate.

I'd squeeze through this hole in the chain link fence
you would climb it.
I wasn't afraid of getting caught
I knew you would take charge.
And we never did.                                                             ­            3 6    
We would sit at the top of the canal
you would skip rocks.
I could never get the angle right.
I thought that you were so amazing. I loved you.

Surfing was wonderful
I remember loving the feel of the board beneath me
and the water touching my legs
and the smell of it all,                                                             ­      3 5
but I mostly remember how special I felt that you took me with you.
I loved you.

The duck pond by my grandmother's house that we would spend hours together,
feeding the ducks cheap bread and jumping from stone to stone.
You fought off the aggressive geese                                           4 6
I swung myself on the swings while you watched
sometimes you would push me and I felt like I touched the sky.
I loved you.

I remember calling you names in your parents house
insulting ones in jest, because I knew                                         3 4
if I did you would touch me, tickle me,
it made me feel like you loved me too.

But then you started working and you weren't around.
You'd call, but it wasn't the same.                                               7 15
You called me so often talking about when you'd be back around,
when I could see you. I tried to assure you that I was fine. Did I?

You met another girl, you even moved in with her,
so wrapped up that you forgot to turn the lights on and let Tiger die,
your iguana and the boa constrictor that lived in your closet died too.
I remember being sad when you told me.                                 7 8
I think It was an omen now.
Like the death to our own relationship.

This girl was nice, she smiled a lot and sounded sincere
but you stopped calling me "angel".                                          7 8
we didn't sleep together anymore.

Instead when I'd come up to visit you,                                     7 10
you were gone and I slept on the floor while you slept in her bed.
I remember finding the rubbers there underneath, so unclean.

The other girls in your house teased me
because I didn't like horror films, or thrillers
but you would always leave...
So I would sit as far from the tv as possible and cover my eyes and tell myself that you would come out soon or come back.
That you would make it go away because you didn't tease me about it.
One night I got so scared I paced the hallway                          7 8
as quietly as I could trying to calm the pounding and my body shaking.
I almost opened your door but I shouldn't have to rely on you.
I just didn't want to bother you.
I felt like I bothered everyone else there.                                  7 14

I bought candies and gave them to the girls
because I wanted them to like me.                                             7 8
Because you liked them, and I still loved you.

But I felt like you had started to forget about me.
You would say that you'd meet me at noon
and then call to say four                                                             ­ 9 12
until it was six and you said you would see me tomorrow.
I felt like I was a bore, I must be.

After you forgot me multiple times
my mom said that I can't let you dictate my day
no matter how much I wanted to see you.                               9 15  
So I started going on walks when you were late, which was always.
It happened so often that I don't remember how many times.
I felt myself letting go of who I thought you were
because you weren't that person for me anymore.                

We didn't go to the park or eat ice cream or do anything alone.
You brought her everywhere.                                                    7 22
I remember waking up and
not knowing where you were or where you might be.         13 16

And then he came along and was funny,
and liked to eat junk food with me.
We'd swim in his pool                                                             ­    8 9
I thought that I had found someone to heal the hole you left.
But he didn't, he got angry and verbally violent.                   9 12
I was so afraid but I didn't think you could save me.
I didn't tell you.

After you'd call and all
I heard was disappointment in your voice
I lacked education.
You didn't like my isolation.  
And how I needed to get out there.                                         9 16
How I can't let what other people think or do discourage me.
But I did... I let your behavior fill me with discouragement
I thought it was what I was worth.

I thought it was the last straw when I started watching his kids
and you said it wasn't my responsibility
I said that if you had helped me I wouldn't have to.          12 18
That shut you up real fast. Did you feel responsible? At all?
That maybe if you had been a man instead of a boy
you could've seen that I only wanted to be accepted by you,
to have your respect.
You were the first boy I ever knew,                                        1
and my favorite color was blue because it was yours too. 4
You had seemed so sure that my hair would turn
dark brown just like yours;                                                     6
and I would be so sure it wouldn't.

I just wanted to be important to you,
to make you proud, to feel like I was more to you,
to feel loved by you.                                                             ­     0 now

Because I should have been, Dad.
I deserved more... I deserve more from you.                       *always.
The numbers correspond to when the words held true. How old I was or am.
LACS Mar 2011
I could pick you and
pull the pretty petals of your lies
to my lips

I could have your stain

I could inhale you
and feel the alveoli burst
tissue melting away

I could have your breath

I could look at you
and believe that your eyes say 'love'
when they look back into mine

I could have you...
capo 5

(2nd) G - G - 2onE- 0

3pluck
LACS Nov 2010
He was a tall man, six-foot-three.
He was broken; a bad family.

I will fix you, I promised.
I will love you, I pledged.

                                                       ­  She was a glimmer, a light.
                                                         She would deliver me from night.

                                                         I will treat you, I promised.
                                                       ­  I will love you, I pledged.


                   But broken men don't make caring lovers,
        and she had not learned about peoples' layers or covers.


                                                       ­  Don't touch me..
                                                         Don't TOUCH ME!



He had cowered in the corner, below the bread.
Later, I wished he had hit me instead.

                                                       ­                                    
                                                         This hurt could not be        
                                                         forgiven.
                                                       ­  Her once beautiful glimmer will
                                                         now only cause my derision.

                                                      ­   Her confession of that other man,
                                                         my friend's obsession.
                                                      ­   Her crying tears, LIES;
                                                         her hands attempts to console my
                                                         fears.

I begged for forgiveness;
it had come out wrong.
I sank to the kitchen floor,
his rejection too strong.


                            But this wouldn't be the last,
             there are only so many times a heart can recast.


                        What's going on...?
                        Why is she crying?..!



An angel came.


                        My crying child.


                                                        ­ A demon came.


My angel caressed me, held me;
I shouldn't despair.


                                                      ­   A demon encompassed her, held
                                                         her;
                                                         she was impaired.


                        I had felt this coming, I should have prepared.
                        That was the last night that I had cared.


When I should have left you...


                        She should leave him.


                                                         When you left me...


I had tried to explain...
but he won't listen Momma.
He wont let me touch him...
I didn't do anything wrong.


My breaking heart took comfort in her.
The minutes becoming an angry blur.                


                        How dare you..                                                       
                        She was trying to protect you.
                        You should be mad at him!


                                                         She LIED to me!


                        She never lied to you.
                        Without him
you have no roof,
                        now you have no where
to go.


                                                         Blinded by the broken pieces in
                                                         me.
                                                         I relapsed and found that I could
                                                          n­ow see.

                                                         My glimmer had only withheld
                                                        ­ that of which I could not have
                                                         quelled.

                                                       ­  Will you forgive me?


                        I let her go and silently prayed
                        that this incident would be heavily weighed.

                        That their obvious imperfections
                        would no longer prelude the needed corrections.
                        

Hold me.


                        She outstretched her arms
                        and that was it, as if there was no need for my alarms.


                    But that is what the foolishly in love do
      they forgive the unacceptable and settle for 'I love you."
I'd love to know your thoughts.

Copyright, for use with permission only.
LACS Apr 2013
I am your product,
But not your likeness.
I borrowed from you,
You borrowed me.

There is an evenness to our bargain
As long as it stops now.

You laid the cards and instilled my empathy.
To never say no because I couldn't, you needed me.
To listen to your explanations of family,
But you stopped protecting me.

Always saying it wasn't enough.
That you worked hard,
That you worked long,
That I had no excuses,
Because It's true, I didn't.
I had facts of my reality;
Fact of otherness,
Fact of alone.
Of ostracism,
Of wondering if a crowd would bring me companionship.
Of thinking a man was the only way to happiness,
Because you seemed to think so.
Of cursing your talk of family when you left to find your missing pieces in another's bed.
You needing me to be strong because we were all we had;
Shutting my mouth,
Pressing words back into feelings.
That you used me just like they claimed you'd done to them.
Baring their children, not caring for their say, not asking for more.
But you wanted more from me
You told me often and over.
Leaving me to be the milk-less maid.
The child mother to her mothers children,
Your sweet little children;
The ones I fiercely love,
The ones I fear you'll let break,
Like you have broken me.
My sweet little sisters.

You were my first love,
My first true hate.
The woman who bore me,
The woman who cast me out.
The wisdom in my head,
And the fool before my eyes.
My mother, the bringer, the borrower.
The one person I thought would never betray my trust;
The deserter in my time of need.

You may have borrowed my childhood;
Forever unreturned.
You may have taught me kindness in your selfishness,
You may have been my hero,
I thought you were one...
Someone to aspire to be...
But it's so simple and straight who you are now,
Now that you aren't seen through the rosy cast of my child love.

I play my hand, laying them down
Forthright and coming.
To let you know that I am no longer yours,
No longer yours to borrow.
I am my own,
You can no longer claim me.
capo 2nd em - c - am bridge g c am
LACS Oct 2010
Sounding steps, furthering steps
Down the cement line
Softly pressing, urgently pressing
Closer into mine

A white sky to paint upon
A smile to mark it
A telling of how long
And their kiss to know they sought it

Keeping words, filtering words
Down the contact line
Keenly holding, genteelly holding
Closer into thine

A hot breeze to bask upon
A laugh to mark it
A calming of how long
And their flesh to know they sought it

Warming hands, conserving hands
Down the comfort line
Wanly moving, astutely moving
Farther away from mine

A soft beam to guide upon
A stare to mark it
A smile is far gone
And her tears to know they sought it
Copyrighted, for use with permission only.

Thank you.
LACS Nov 2010
I desire original thoughts
because I have the means to share them.
But every passing thread of brilliance is quickly snuffed,
it's spidery sinews retreat.

I feel a brimming in my artistic soul
to bring on feelings the way they've brought on me.
But every emotions' cause has already preceded mine, and me.

I grasp at floating inklings, attempting to coax their being.
But every one bursts in my pleading hand,
and I am left with only a lack;
there isn't anything to understand.
LACS Jun 2011
I'll fall upwards,

past the cities
and through the lonely stretches of asphalt and golden hills,
towards fancies and sleepless nights.

I'll fall past weeks,

of minutes
and through pictures stored and kept and thrown away,
towards cravings and fulfillment.

I'll fall

enveloped
and through the silence of solitude and the wanting it brings
towards curly hair and kisses filled with sweet words.

I'll fall into you and wish to never be free

So please...

Don't let me.
If you would like to see/hear this as a song go here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veUVnasVBUo

Author's note to author: 4th exclud b/e

C/A4/F(3rd)/F(1st)
LACS May 2011
If it is as they say- it will get worse
before a reprieve will reach me...
I wonder if as it ebbs and flows
if that will mean an end to it, that if then- it leaves me.
If hearts grow fonder when apart
then what happens when they fray
untouched, unmoved, left to do what all things left do- fade.
Silence and what she knows it means
he asks, and she is silent of her fears
and hopes he doesn't notice them.
The passion and desire she feels for him flares
and falls and hurts her, needles and shards ripping
into pleasantries and memories of everything they have ever had.
And "I don't know you," and "Do you know me?"
I hate when you aren't here to ease my feelings,
and I love when you're small and apologetic like a child.
It is then that I know you are true.
When you are honest, when I remember you're human.
I Love you.
3rd capo: 2pluck

G/ 2nd on E / Em / 2nd on E
LACS Nov 2010
There was a way that you spoke that telephones just couldn't convey.
Nor could images sent from far away.

Small things that would normally go unnoticed.
But I noticed your acceptance that human touch isn't all bad.
Because your hands gently acknowledged my shoulders as you walked by.
And that you let me feel your muscle and bone, your skin and the sinew beneath.

Quirks of yours that might be missed.
But I couldn't miss the desire I heard when you asked of my thoughts.
Because no one had ever asked me the way that you did; intensity in those dark eyes.
And you let me explain my most inane threads; you were always present with me.

When things were simple...

But there is something sweet that I tend to forget...
That you are real and mine.
Not were.

Wish things were simple...

But when I reach out my hand to find your tanned one
I can't find you, you aren't here
I cry inside when my skin meets covers, I wish for my lover
I wish for you

*And I wish things were simple...
Any word revisions, format suggestions, etc, are GREATLY welcomed.

Thank you!

A-2nd (3pluck)
A-3rd
D-2nd
D-0
LACS Oct 2012
Why can't I simply close my eyes and forget
Of this day and all of the rest that don't matter
Of the ones that do that I don't want to have

Why can't I simply shut out what was said
That night with hot resin and bathroom soap
Those shaking sobs against my car door

Why can't I simply forget what you used to mean
When I was younger and in adoration of you
When I thought you believed me
I recorded this into a song. If you are interested in checking it out go here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sQdIxmQK70&list;=PLD2CCC96C6F0FACDF

A2 c(no index) g(no middle)
LACS Mar 2013
Incredible naivety and everything it entails
An animal trapped in by pressing rails
Stupid, if it wasn't known better
Don't want to send a ******* letter
Screaming- it isn't real
If I'm the only one who would feel- it
Perspire the disappointment, and misery and sadness
Stay awake for the lack of here and now- repress
it all, and go mad
wearing nothing,
just to feel
to be as cold as it
to conceal
this ordeal
and all that isn't real
Capo  4

Am - G

F - Em - G -Am

Dm -Am- G
LACS Jan 2011
With your love you’ve caged me
as you would a bird

Trapped and flightless neither singing
Nor crooning any word

My body fails, I fall apart,
My feeling leaves me

My voice will not sound, my heart hardly beats
I fall to the ground the cold place where I sleep


With every whim and in any way
I pray that someday I will get away

Far away from your love
That has caged me in

And bring my back my heart
That wants to begin

Back to another time
Back to the first line my life once ran on

Far away from this love that
You’ve brought down upon me
An old song inspired by something a friend, at the time, said. They have come to influence me more than I ever would have thought.

Thank you for finding a place in my heart.

P.s any suggestions on how to make this flow better as a poem would be greatly appreciated!
LACS May 2011
I feel silly wanting a life with you
you're inaccessible at best.
I'm always left in your dreams
but you don't dream, you rest.

"I'm not ready, but I wouldn't turn you away"
you're kind and blatant- honest.
I don't know how to hear your words
but it's true that you never promised.

I am shaking and dripping,
wondering if I'm always the one broken.
Curling into myself for something
I could not fathom, nor forsee.
Written a while back, I had thought to keep it to myself.

But here it is.

— The End —