Welcome home I read
as you rub your feet on me
an extra stomp for good measure

sitting by your door
all day, any weather
still glowing my cheerful greeting

welcome home

everyday your feet hit
cleaning yourself off
on my always cheerful greeting
excited to finally see you
and tell you

welcome home

you've never washed me
brushed me off
I am completely full of your dirt and grime
completely full
I am dull

worrying if I did good enough
cleaning your shoes
if you found a prettier mat
if you still like my colors
remembering everyday
every moment
when you didn't rub your shoes on me
two Thursdays ago

welcome home

my  cheerful greeting
now so dull
from you
I am thrown out
I am replaced

welcome home

how long have I been looking out this **** window?
you're long gone
how exactly am I supposed to move
if hope is still lingering
you'll be back
just a crack in the window
I can see meeting you again
but
with a lack of your feet at my door
its hard to belive it anymore
I should leave
but yet these panes remind me
of your kind smile
of your mind
of your soul-seaching eyes
did you ever care?
could I even dare to think you did
I tear pages from my diary about your love
your **** love
it was a joke
cant be real
i mean after all... you left.

have i really found what im looking for?
ive torn so many pages
ive told myself so many times
ive said your even stronger to start over
i fake myself into thinking this is normal
you never seemed to care
maybe i just don't remember
but god all those tears i shed
all for you to leave
leave me
me
after i had given all i had
after my breathing had stopped from panicking
because you werent there
i should have seen
you were never there
i was naïve
you just needed someone
to comfort you
you.
                           -lb

talking and learning
ive got a lot to say
sometimes
but other times
i sit and watch
i guess its a matter of input
or what i can learn from
he talks like the ocean
large and small
lips plush and pink wating to speak
to tell me what ive done wrong
but cant you see?
i wont answer
im just learning