The alarm going off, but only one hour of sleep,
I kissed you on the forehead, the pain already feels deep.
We drive to the airport, the talk is low,
Trying to block out what is happening, knowing I must go.
One last kiss from your lips, one last touch,
The pain increasing in my heart, I love you so much.
We let go of each other and I wish I could stay,
I pretended to walk inside, but had to stop to wipe the tears away.
I checked in, got my coffee just the way you said,
I called you and we talked, your voice is the only thing in my head.
We talked some more then I boarded the plane,
As each minute went by away from you, I felt insane.
Flying halfway around the world, my tears never stop,
The realization of you in my life, my bubble felt like it would pop.
Back in Iraq and my heart hurts all the time,
But whenever I talk to you, everything seems to be just fine.
I've never been through this before, will the pain ever be less?
I can't function properly right now, I am a complete mess.
Stuck in my CHU, I can't make myself leave,
My chest feels like it will explode, my body just heaves.
I want this to stop, I can't take much more,
I feel as if the only thing that will help is to be away from this war.
I'm at war with myself, an emotional strain,
I hate that I lay this on you but its so much pain.
I opened up to you one night, you told me you understand,
I never knew what you went through, did I fail you as your man?
You've been helping me through this, keeping me busy,
I love that you do this, but that math made me dizzy.
I feel so weak, the first time I have no control of this,
My only hope is knowing you love me and I am missed.
I've never been so reliant on someone before, I am scared,
It took a lot to open up to you and I don't think it's fair,
To put you through this, you are having pain too,
I can never express how much this means to me, how much I appreciate you.
Please bare with me as we go through this time,
124 days in this country, once I'm with you, i'll be fine.
This was the grief and despair that I felt after having to leave my love and go back to Iraq and the struggle I went through emotionally