I used to say ‘don’t you dare.’
Now I say ‘please, please,
Don’t leave.
Just hold me, let’s pretend.’
But I could not,
The illusion's end.
You could not,
Give up your little attempt,
Your pathetic pretense
To be the man
You think you want to be.
I was not,
Weak-willed enough
To fit in with your little game
A pretty play-thing
The role I'd played.
Unexplained
It grew like a parasite.
Til one day I paralysed it
But it remains
Lodged in tunnels,
Inside my brain
When my guard is down
It eats away
You presented a mixed array
Of sincerity, lies and games,
'You're the one leaving,
I won't change.'
Lying in those sheets,
Where others lay.
It tore me apart,
That night,
That by nature
I was helplessly strong,
I was driven away
When my protector
Punctured my inflated heart.
I did not arm myself
With reasons, dignity.
Regretfully I let it
Eat away,
Always wishing,
I could lower myself,
To play that stage.