I want to ruffle my hands through your hair.

I want to feel your chest warm against mine.

and close
my eyes

And forget the earth beneath my feet
and just for a moment

believe

that all I'm really connected to is you.

Would you love me if I ruled the world

Would you love me if I killed the girl

The girl who came and stole you from me

I could cut her strings

I could set you free.

If I stained my hands all ruby red

Would you love me if she were dead?

Would you love me if I did those things?

I’m too young to be so empty
My heart should be full
and waxing,
not waning like the moon.
I poured out so much in those eight months
I gave you my heart and soul
And after it was done and said
You acted like it was just a trifle
Like I was just a silly girl
I don’t want to be some
Brief spans in your life
Where someday
You’ll forget my favorite color.
Where someday
You’ll forget my last name.
How could you
throw it away?
How can you
be sincerely okay?
I feel so broken
I don’t know who I see in the mirror

Just a shadow
Of your girl.

Quiet now, my pretty darling.
You served until the end,
There was nothing more that you could do
And there’s nothing more that I can mend,
But I’d gladly cut my hands
Upon those jagged shards
I’ll help collect that heart of ice
And thaw it to that brittle core.
And here we’ll plant the seed, my love,
And one day,
Perhaps not soon,
Some violent bloom will burst forth,
And sow that hurt on the wind.
It will drift to some far off scape,
While we drink and dream,
And I’ll kiss your neck
So soft and sweet
And whisper all my darkest secrets,
And stain your lips violet,
With the passion of my kisses.
Let me bruise you, pretty girl,
And sing your corpse to sleep.

Can I sit in your lap and whisper eternities?
Your heart is made of stone,
And my trembling fists cannot crack it.
I’ve no way of saying
How misplaced my feelings are.
If only I could be made of marble.
I call you crying all the time
All those bruised knees and scraped elbows
Of the past, were always fixed with a kiss.
And now your words are that soothing balm.
Like a knight, you’re virtuous,
Hard and unyielding as that armor you house yourself in.
But is it truly armor when that’s all there is?

Where will I find the light
Nowhere is where
I reside
Nowhere is where
I need to hide
Until I feel
What seems a dream
What’s lost and unreal…
I won’t find the light
Nowhere to hide
Gone and lost
Flame and frost
Nothing really matters to me…

A saccharine
*****
A broken home.
A cellophane
*****
A scribble-wrought tome.
Nothing left
A shadow of
Me.
Nothing left but
Leaves fallen from their tree.
This blood that flows down
Is colored violet
This blinded eye,
A sightless white orb,
Glows in this darkness
And glows in my heart.
So corroded and rusted
The life barely flows
A forgotten relic,
A left-behind rose.
A cracked-glass
Man
All bloodied and torn.
A steampunk
****
Left behind in your
Revolution.

Does anyone know?
Can they sense the break?
The hollow-cheek’d innocence
Is a facade and a joke.
The bleak world
Which consists
Of:
Battered feet;
Bleeding from wear,
Cracked skin,
Stitched lips,
And no one could care.
This painted on smile,
and the bulge of the worms
Which writhe and feed
Inside my skull,
The shiny little lights of agony
That burn in my eyes
They burn beyond reason
and I am lost
Can they sense the break?
Does anyone know?

Oh circle of lights,
With your false,
Plastic,
Warmth.
Oh circle of lights,
A firework’s ,
Bittersweet,
Farce.
Down at the bottom
Only a hint
Of your color
Remains.
Water-logged and drowned
Left to dry
In my arms.
Lips parted
And black water spills
Forth
Gathering in matted locks
Like grimed pearls.
When the screams
Go forth
So musically
Left to escape
In whimsical bubbles.
Oh circle of lights
Your false
Plastic
Warmth.
Is all that I see,
Oh circle of lights
Your colors mangled
As a drowned man’s
Farce.

The bittersweet last dregs,
Of the Kings last glass of wine,
Reflect small worlds,
And cosmoses;
Only to be seen in those,
Quiet moments,
When the sun is but a dream,
In the canvas of the sky.
When the stars become fond,
Memories of the moon.
The worlds unravel into beings
And beings become sparks of light
As the draught is swilled
And swallowed by
A man who controls fates.

Dark souls bound
by non-death to the shadows;
Wandering, wallowing,
Looming.

Fingernails like fishscales;
chipping. peeling.
tearing at my flesh.
a last soul-torn scream.

mute-silence
carved-out tongue
corrupt. filthy.
absolution comes to none
like they--

like me.
dark souls--
Good God, now me!

eyes. cataract-blind.
fingers numb.
teeth ache.
no way to cleanse
the blood.

putrid. *****. wretches.
eating marrow
from the bone!
--
Wretched me!
I'm eating marrow
from the bone.

all gone hollow inside.
no gore can ease the agony.
moldering away.
rotting.
a zombie, a zombie.

don't you wish you were
undead like me?

Inhibitor and catalyst;
A look can do either.
I always wonder what,
Goes on behind those brooding lips.
Are words locked between your teeth,
Unspoken on your tongue?
I wish I could taste and see,
And steal such words away.
But words unspoken, that greatest sin,
Rest on my tongue as well.
Oh what things, what things,
Might have been,
Between we silent obelisks.

The upward curve of your lips
Framed in a bristled haze of
Eternal stubble. Long fingered
Beautiful hands. Sure and gentle
Buttoning those stiff collared shirts
With the stripes you always wear
Except to bed. How do I say how I
Love your thick hair and your scent?
Can I express how good it feels to lay
In your arms and feel those gorgeous fingers
Splayed on my back. Or how eagerly you wake me
In the morning, when its still grey outside.
And how you make fun of me when I throw
Flat rocks. Spending all my time finding the perfect one
When you can skip any stone you pick up,
And count the skips just so you can
Say that you’ve thrown more.
Holding my hand and running through the woods
Those manhole covers
Were too heavy to take home.
And you became home. For four days.
I saw your smile
And noticed it was crooked and loved it all the more.

A town of trains
A town of trains
Rumble, rumble, through the night
Quiet
Underlying the sound of his breathing
The one who loves me
She said it wouldn’t happen if he didn’t.
But it did.
And he asked me twice.
And I knew
When he leaned over in traffic to kiss me
Over the console, eyes open and hands gripping
The steering wheel.
He wouldn’t say he loved me that night
But he did in the morning
Fogged up windows.
Our heedy breaths
The smell of *** is latex and wanton
And longing.