Panic
Is something I know all too well
It starts in the deepest part of your stomach
Then starts to grow the more you suppress it.
It flows through your veins
Like a vile poison
Spreading with every beat of your heart.
Then you realize that your heart is beating too fast
Your head starts to spin
The edges of your vision start to become dark
And the darkness begins to spread.
You try to breathe
But no matter how hard you try
You cannot take in the oxygen.
It makes you break into a cold sweat
And your chest tightens
Then you forget how to function altogether.
Yes I know what panic is
And it has the power to destroy me.

Everything is going by so fast
Too fast
I close my eyes trying to escape it
But I can still see it
It scares me
All the people around me
Getting married
Having kids
Leaving me behind.
I don’t want to be that person you call only when you need something
I don’t want to face the fact that our friendship
Was just a lie.
I was just a path you were forced to take to get what you wanted
Is that all I am?
Just a person you had to tolerate?
It must have been hard for you to endure my company
But so easy to leve me behind.
Everything is moving by so fast
Too fast
Maybe with the pull of this trigger
It will
Stop.