Our Last.


We promised,


Shook hands,


"we are done".

But with one more wish:

A last kiss.



In this moment,

the one we both knew was wrong,

something felt right.


Was is the acceptance of the end,
or the awakening of something different,
softer?

In that one moment,

the kiss,

I was swept off my feet,

with some kind of reassurance.


Was it recognizing the end,
or finding the whole reason it started?


We danced,

quietly,

in a way we never had.



There was some sort of control.




I could spend thousands of words,
trying to figure the feeling.
But i know that to you,
The kiss,
was The end.

Morning dew falls,
tears from the stars.

The coyotes call still echos.


The moment i tried to capture ,
the night before,
stained slanted on old paper,
is smeared.

Its a reminder from the night that some things should be left alone.
Secrets of the night.
                                      
The morning still feels like night.

[sometimes its too hard to decipher between wrong and right.]


When i close my eyes i cant tell the difference.
What is it about sight that feels the need to divide two things that are much the same into things so vain?

[how can two things feel the same but be different?]

Nothing changes between the dark and light.

Written with my dearest Dane Johnson


This grove of insanity, perhaps it is that you wish to get lucky?
We walk hand in hand. Luck, being so subjective we forget to define.
Ultimatums come hitherto, I'm afraid your luck has run dry.
I can't buy any more time to convince you or I that someday we may see eye to eye.
My, oh my, please don't cry.

Who's really winning when everyone's sinning?
Yet the world keeps on spinning to our wrecked hearts.

I crave the fire and yet don't like to get burned.
As we undress, we softly caress our scars.
We avoid the  pain by closing our eyes,
but it's something we both can't stop feeling.
And yet we continue invariably denying.

And the silence we share speaks more words than would be divulged had we done otherwise.

The words sent in secret go unnoticed by everything, but my heart has made it difficult to look in the mirror and see the beauty of anything we ever had.

Mirrors show nothing of the pain that pictures do, because then I have to see your shining face with your sparkling eyes, always your eyes.

But you never felt the tears that fell from them. We don't know the touch of each others pain.

Your pained words take on more than you are. And yet we find peace at lust's end. And it is with that end that we are no more.

We've known all along that all we have ever wanted to be is more than the silence that echos in the sliver of space left between our fast beating hearts. I could see it in your eyes when you forgot to guard the doors in.

And now my door opens to a new light.
Silence is golden, but what was once sliver could become silver, oh so easily.

However lighthearted pennies are,
the trouble is not worth the pain.
*She smiles quietly watching him walk away from penny lane.

My heart takes a leap my head isn't ready for.


My minds dug down deep.


Its a steep mountain I'm climbing.

Our childhoods lay out between us,
Like games we pretend to play.
Pieces lost under your bed.
Cards crafter unconsciously into makeshift chaos.
Somehow this was enough.

That was before; when goodnight wasn’t as simple as two words stung loosely together from start to star until it hung silently over our heads.
No, it used to be spelled out in whole solar systems maped out in secret between us.
Escape wasn’t the door you walked out of.
It was a door we swung open and ran into.
I used to watch you blink.
Gusts of wind sending waves
across your blue eyes.

I was convinced that somehow we were pure

I remember sitting on my mother’s lap once.
She whispered
“One say you’re going to outgrow my lap”
I quickly promised back
“We will always fit”

I thought that we were one of those promises.


I waited for you to hang the moon and wake the sun.

Time ran through your veins.
You effortlessly used it.
It echoes through the place I would never belong.

{shoot the moon}