there is love in my heart,
an ocean, tides red, deep, and strong.

but the chart to this sea, i hide.
needs must.

these waters are hard to find
in such as i.

this black burns
and drunk days find their feet
my sweet heart
full, still
but beating blood, and strong

in that burlap sack
that held a dream
the light got out
quick and fast
threads and fibers of love
spun gold, blinding bright, but brief.

sun set
momentary
and gone.

you'll always be there
a long distant pulse
pushing in white against the surface of my skin
my heart's red may never break within you
but the surf roils and roars
and the sand shore sighs

circling and rolling
red-rich in hands never held
i feel you, distant,
on that thousand-mile coast

still wishing
still knowing
another's arms wrap'd round
with you on mine
disguised
ink-white
and mistaken for a scar
like all true maps of the heart

enfolded arms
and the fool falls away
a moment of peace
autumn-warm
soft and gold and tan
and sun
the spilling trees
raining light and life
and my rich heart
heavy with loam
and the soil of a rumbling heart
seasons wide

in this blasting light
i know myself as flawed
drunk and broke
and a heart fallen to shadow

teeth bared is the smile
and raised hands?
fear or fist

and so many doors
to quietly close.

to give is all
and this world is
a beautiful torture because of it.

love's gift
found
and paid for these too-many ways
and in the knowledge that it must be given
and only given

because to hold
and to have
is to squander the gift.

love held this ground.

and just for a time
i laughed
and i died
and i rose again
because of you.