I vaguely remember meeting you
I do remember calling to Mulder that They had finally arrived
and then a large hand reaching across my face and everything going black.
I remember that as if it happened yesterday

And then I recall this little purplish pink swaddled you being held eye level as I lay on my back
Your daddy said, Meet Ezra
And you were beautiful but then everything again, went black.

I am thankful for the photos tho. Reminding me of how you peed all over my insides when they
lifted you from my belly
And the moment captured in film of our first embrace.

I still wear the boots I got the winter you were inside my gut
15 years ago

and you are still so very beautiful
And Handsome, I might add.

you are a tough crowd
thoughtful, a little bit cold but warm in opinions
you are a tough crowd

i know you from somewhere
local, okay foreign for sure and very exotic, a color I've never seen before
i know you from somewhere

i think i have pictures
a Kodak moment or maybe a Polaroid, i think you might be on VHS, i'll take a look
i think i have pictures

i do feel the feelings
the tingle down my spine, my hair on end, the butterfly in my stomach
i do feel the feelings

I smell something too
that brings it all home

I smell You and Taste our history. I am glad you are back

keep writing

My sad kicked in the other day
so my sweet sunshine rode in on dancing heels
pulled me out of my bed
and into the kitchen for a mid morning waltz

Let's get you  moving, he said, lets dance a jig
so we did
when my sad tried to step in again, my dance card was full
and the rest of the day was a breeze

(sang to the tune of Hey Jude from the Beatles)

hey you, in the other room.
how i miss you and yet you're here.
I wish you'd let me into your room, where I can sit and stare at you, at you, at you, at you.... lalalalalala....

22 inches in just 2 scars. One was opened twice.
74 others including a few that are finally fading away.
They range north to south and east to west.
Some self inflicted, some intentional and some are just by accident.
They track my history, like etchings on a wall.
Many of them are stretching wide because
I am growing.
I am comfortable
but I am not entirely convinced.

On a side note, I find that I am a very different woman when aunt Flo visits.

It's been so long that I forgot what being a women feels like in this way.

I like it.

A little loud, a bit pushy, right about everything and very empathetic.

And finally I am not bloated.

He runs out of the bathroom after a 20 minute shower
leaving puddles of warm water trailing through our home.
"Smell me!" he says as he pushes his head under my nose.
"Smell me. I smell great!" I do and he does.
"I used everything in the shower. EVERYTHING!" He is so proud.
Later that night, as I take my shower I find:
all 5 bars of soap still partially lathered,
every shampoo and conditioner bottle opened and askew,
and all of my sample envelopes ranging from Healthy HooHoo to acne cleansers,  botanical shampoos to magnetic hair rejuvenation creams,
all tore open and empty.
For this, I fall in love all over again with a 12 year old kid.
And he smells great!

I watch you, I read you
I see you and try to understand you
but you are in a different space than I am and I try to respect that

I know you, I love you
I want to always be here for you
but you are a new person in yourself and I will try to respect that.

dedicated to my son

Aries are usually more concerned with their own situations than of those around them
this doesn't mean they don't care
it means they are so intrigued with what surrounds them that they can't be bothered about anything else
i love this about you
so many words
so many thoughts that are expressed through pictures and poems and WWE smack downs in the living room
all of it is real life and so breathtaking and genuine
it makes me sit back and marvel at what a deep deep breath of fresh air you are to the world
and i love you for that.