My wrists become raw without
Any consent of mine,
Red and blistered from the chains
And rusted metal they  are trapped in.

And I can't leave the past, but I'd
be ****** if I'd be forced to come back
To such a wretched place. So I
sit in the floor and dream of anywhere else.

Oh, and they start creeping.

But my wrists have been red for far too long
So I sit still in white tile, staring at my new blade
One that bleeds out ink and words instead
Of one that destroys me further.

"Oh, but you deserved it, darling.
You brought this onto yourself. It was you,
after all, that dragged yourself down-"
Silence silence, I cry in the shower.

Words are escaping me,
Just barely leaving my
Feeble hands, grasping
At the edges of this feeble world.

"Feeble? Such an ironic thing
for such a weak creature to say.
If there's anything feeble it's you-"
I crank the volume up.

And such a thing as coherence
Is making as much sense as my own thoughts
"Wait, is it because they're not
coherent? Maybe you're just wrong-"

Silence silence silence
And I scream into my fist
"Maybe you're just wrong,
like you always are!"

And I ready the words inside of
my dry throat, only if they just become
an utter for no one to hear it.
"No one ever does anyway!"

Yet they zoom around my mind
When I make myself alone again
Go away go away go away go away
"Leave leave before you crash"

"And he told her the tale of a girl
who loved others yet never learned
how to love herse-" silence silence silence
I cover my ears and drown myself again.

And I give up on trying to make sense of the lyrics
Or of the hellish sound from within, as I
convince myself that it never made sense.
"Oh, but it all does. You're just too blind to see it."

Shut up shut up shut up shut up
"You're blind you're blind you're blind"
I clench my eyes shut
And drop to the ground.

One of my closest friends
Has a nasty habit
Of visiting by night
And leaving in the morning.

She's never told me her name,
And I've got no photos nor descriptions
Nor people to prove that is really her.
But still, I call her Insomnia.

When the night goes still
And the others go to sleep
She arises in all her glory
Captivating my attention.

She whispers stories all night
Forming pictures behind my eyelids
"Give me a minute, let me write it down"
But she stays silent when I grab a pen

She's a bumbling bundle of life
In a night full of slumber
"Be quiet I need to sleep"
Yet she talks, and I keep listening.

"Shut up, I want to rest"
I tell her again with a yawn
But not even music can drown out her words
Alarmingly loud in still nights.

Ignoring my closing eyes,
I commit her words to memory
In the morning, she won't be there
To let me live another life.

She's the reason I have
Dark bags under my eyes.
But still, I don't mind.
I need the company.

She's my closest friend,
Dead dreamer coming alive
In the dead of the night
Shimmering with the shadows.

Unlikely company
Not the best, I'm sure
Still, I let her speak
And hold me close.

After all, darling
Misery loves company
Even if it means
Another sleepless night.

I am known for my sharp tongue
For biting insults I never mean
For snide remarks I always regret
For lies and actions I can never forget.

I have a sharp, observing eye and ears
For beauty and for defects all the same
The problem with me is, I spit out flaws
Perfections always stay hidden with shame

Some people like to wear flaws on their sleeve
I like to wear them on display with a shimmer of denial
I hide them then show them without thinking twice
Making me seem half as messed up as I am.

I'd prefer to bury my imperfections
If I don't, I'll bury myself alive.
I've always hidden my odd ends and flaws.
Only to show them again in words.