I would like to say
He had me at hello
But he never actually said that
He spoke to me
For the first time
As though we had been friends for ages

There was not a second
Where I feared his newness
As I had with all my other friends

He spoke to me for a few minutes
Before the bell rang
And I was sad to see him go

Yet there he was
In my French class
And so we had more time to grow closer

I knew him for a few months
Before I realized rather suddenly
I liked him more than I liked any other

I knew him for a year
Before I told him about these feelings
And I was let down gently as possible

I have known him for two years
And I would not change a single thing
About our Moirallegiance

I do not call it a friendship
Because it isn't one
Moirallegiance means more than that

He keeps me grounded
He keeps my emotions in check
Even now when he is so far away

He says the wrong thing sometimes
He never asks how I am
After I ask how he's doing
But that's okay with me
Because I know when I need him
He’ll be right there

Wouldn't it be funny
If it were the Angels who were evil
And it were the Demons who were good?

What if God snapped
The Angels becoming a heavenly army of Light
And his word made the Demons seem the wrongdoers?

What if Lucifer wished for things
To become again as they once were
Beyond the Pearly Gates;

And his Demons were the ones
Who guarded humanity
In spite of the Angelic opposition?

Call me a heretic
But what if we have had it backwards
All along?

The lyrics float through the air
A song I have heard many times before
An impaled heart on the album cover
Warning of the pain
They will convey through their lyrics
Lyrics that at times may as well have been taken
From the deepest recesses of my head and heart

A song in which the narrator
Finds the one who gives them
Everything they asked for in life
I found not one, but two
Two men like that in my life
Who both refused my affections
And whom I hold little to no animosity toward
Though when I think of it
They're rather different

This first one, we will code him Belase
Is so unabashedly in love with the 'nerdy' things
Things he helped me get into as well
Without him I would not have found a love for the zombie shows
Or for the older classic movies which he adores
Without him I would not have found the raggedy man
Who takes me on adventures through time and space
The raggedy man who in turn helped me find
The medieval sorcerer in Camelot
And the modern-day crime-solving machine
With a doctor of his own

When I was upset I went to him
He helped everything almost immediately
When I told him of my feelings he let me down gently
Too gently, perhaps, as I retain some sliver of hope
Knowing that that hope should have died by now
He made many jokes which lightened my mood
Though sometimes they were mistimed
And only made me irrationally angrier toward him
Not the source of my first wave of sadness or anger
But I always forgave him and talked of nerdy things

His love of the nerdy things hides much of himself
Though it does speak volumes about what he is willing to convey
He hides his slightly skewed views behind these things
He hides his *******
He hides his want of being in charge
His way with words like a serpents' venom through my veins
Makes me agree with what he says
Even if in my heart I know it to be against my own views
And it terrifies me

The second, we will code Silas
The first day we met, was in school
He was alumni come to visit
We spoke very little as I was shy
And in truth I had forgotten him entirely
What is the point of remembering
Someone you only meet once?
When he left I thought I would never see him again
But our mutual friend, coded May, held a sleep-over
Long, long after that first day

This first real night, as I call it
He held me in his arms as those still up
Wound down to sleep
At about four in the morning
And we slept very little, in the two hours before the others became active once more
As summer was almost upon us
The remaining high-school students, that is
I knew at the end he would be back in his second year of college
And I would be in my last year of high school

I told him a bit of how I felt
And he said no, he didn't want the emotional attachment
Of being my first kiss, or first anything as he puts it
Doesn't want emotional attachment, ha!
If he didn't want emotional attachment
Why did he continue to hold and cuddle me
Why did he take things further and practically taunt me
By holding himself over me and brushing his face across mine
All the times we almost kissed...
Though he and everyone who knows him
Says he does this with anyone who is willing

So there we have it
The fluffy serpent with the innocent face
And the man with the visage of a teddy bear
Both have taken over my heart
And even if I could decide
Which one I want more
Neither of them want me
And perhaps that is for the best

A girl who never leaves the house
A girl who had no friends until seventh grade
A girl Belase has known for three years
A girl Silas has known for a few scant months
Who would ever want
Little
Broken
Me?

We are never free of our Demons
We learn to ignore them
We learn to drown them out
We learn to live with them
Or we get drowned by them
And don't live at all

Our Demons only want one thing
They want to see you squirm
They want to see you give up
They want to see you fail
But you must not
There comes a time you must face them

When you face them
It seems like you against an army
It seems like you against the world
It seems like you against yourself
Because you are fighting yourself
You are your own fiercest Arch-Demon

After you accept this
You can finally conquer yourself
You can finally conquer the Demons that come from without
You can finally conquer even the world itself
And make it tremble
Before your awesome might

But be forewarned
These Demons are powerful
These Demons are smart
These Demons are adaptable
They are all of these things
Because you are all of these things