"Do you think that I don't want this?!" I reply, "Yes, I think you want a relationship." He replies with a snotty attitude, "Then what is your problem?" I told him, "Yes I believe that you want a relationship, I just don't think that you want one with me..." He paused because he knew that what I was saying was true. The feeling of despair hit me, because I knew that all of these fearful thoughts were now true and there was no denying it.. he came at me almost yelling, "How could you think something like that?!" as he stuttered in his words. "Of course I want to be with you" but I could see it in his eyes, I could see the deception. He looked at me the same way that he looked at me when he told me that he loved me, and it was all lies. I couldn't speak, I shook my head at him and left.

Strange isn't it? How things change you, make you grow up, make you feel different. It could be something big, like a break up or a family member dying that completely crushes you and makes you have to rebuild yourself. Or it could be something as simple as two words, I'm sorry, that changes your whole outlook on life. People think that they are mature when they turn 18 and they're adults. But they have no idea what maturity even is. You don't truly know until you have been changed in your own way, and you know what it feels like to be hurt and fix yourself on your own without relying on anybody.

It's funny how pictures can remind you of a moment. When you look at it and it puts you back, where you can feel the blood pumping through your veins and the adrenaline rushing to your heart. And sometimes, just for a moment you can hear it. You can hear the sound of the memory and it makes you feel like that moment will never end. And then reality is flashed back and everything is different. It takes you a second to remember where you are and when you do, you want nothing more but to be in that memory again and be in that place, in that time again.