Ah! An idea! Bouncing neurons bump
frontal lob to ear canal, rushing down
veins, pulsing through arm muscles and finger
bones until the tingle erupts for a pen.

Arms scramble, books over desks
shoved onto their sides, French homework flies around
Mozart concertos swirling up towards
ceiling fans and floating down, down, down ,down
until landing gently on, of course, a pen.

A pen- the holy instrument that will
transfer innermost thoughts and emotions
into beautiful prose and poetry.

Held by fingers, the pen is power- but
wait, the pen has no ink. (Gosh-darnit-all)

Push false math theorems between slices of white bread.
Shove it down my throat.
When I choke,
refuse to perform the Heimlich.
Open up my insides.
Force the twisted logic through my intestines
like a broken machine.
Sew my mouth shut so I can't throw it up.

Carve the periodic table into my arms
with your sharpened Swiss army knife.
Smile while my skin is replaced
with ****** atomic numbers.
Saw my fingers off
so I can't use them to cover the halogens.

Glue my eyelashes to my eyebrows so my eyes can't close.
Color my irises black with permanent marker:
just like yours.
Force me to see the way you do.

Tear from my mind every original thought.
Shout at my dreams until they run away in fear.
Vacuum my favorite memories out through my ears.
Fit the remaining contents of my brain into your incorrect physics equation.

Extract my heart from my rib cage with kitchen tongs.
Watch my skin go pale.
Watch my eyes go still.

Tell my empty body it's for the best.
Tell this shadow of my soul that you love it.

When achieving your dream becomes anxiety and failure becomes guilt, remember: it is okay to leave the pressure to find the passion.

2. You cannot force yourself to love that boy, even if he is perfect. It will only break his heart.

3. When the right boy enters your life, he will be far from perfection: a beautiful blonde mess even your band teacher labels a bad idea.

4. It is easy to be seduced by a picture-perfect image of success.

5. It is impossible to stay practical and balanced when falling in love. Ignore your mother’s advice and let yourself be swept away.

6. A high school diploma represents more than hard work and passing grades: in those four years, you grew into someone you can be proud of.

7. Treasure the present instead of waiting for the future.

8. Don't forget to be yourself even when you are changing.

9. Sometimes, you explode. Do not stop yourself from experience all the ugly emotions.

10. Never rush recovery.

11. Expectations don't always understand that healing takes time.

12. Trust this: you will be okay.

Life is the hardest thing to love though it is the worthiest. Even on those days when the sickness blinds you, life is beautiful. Even on those days when the temptation of kitchen knives and the pill bottle on the second shelf of your mother’s medicine cabinet pull you to pluck your pulse in perfect pizzacto, you must let life remind you: you are worth it.