To my own mind I will deceive
To the peace I should receive
I am just another thief
I wish I would not live.

Harsh life, large strife,
stirring the wrath within me.
Red flag, hold back!
I would pull back my fist by my own decree.

Wants to have love, falling to the lust.
Goals are above, moving is a must.
Lost to the chains that holds to my heart.
Wrenching me right back into the start.

"Repent" it says.
There is really nothing I could say.
"Restrain" it says.
I secretly want to make them pay.

Darkness lurking.
Power usurping.
Should I fall behind?
Should I get in line?

My own restrains become my worst enemy.
Only I myself pity.
The violence return to stir within me.
Only I can stop me.

To my own mind I will deceive
To the peace I should receive
The innocences that I should grief.
Hoping one day I will have a relief.

How can I live without feeling all the trauma?
Abused and hurt, I feel less worthless than a victim.
Sure I will live, throughout all those drama.
For I am not even a victim. "You can just hurt him?"

No, I refuse to conform to your trickery.
I will not walk into my own tragedy.
I can hurt you as much as you hurt me.
Turning myself into a herald of misery.

Walking a path of war.
Talking with the sharpest tongue.
Leave a trail a blood and gore.
It's just that I haven't begun.

I spent too much time on my own.
I talked with myself
Debate about our actions.
Getting closer to your definition of hell.

I am still a demon in my own eyes
So much that I wish I won't survive
Hanging on to the desire to be alive
I want to die in the fight for my life.

Hope to see the world in chaos
Hope to see the world in peace
Chaining myself in a crisscross
Such dilemma really exist.

I  stay away from the outside world
as far away as I can.
The world is full of disappointments
Trust me, I am one of them.

Filling with increasing despair
Like a bomb I tick
Hoping I would just die off
without an errant twitch

Hoping that I would one day switch
transforming from a wandering recluse
to a gregarious and happy individual
who has nothing to lose

With speech I can only debate
I can only write in peace
I could never talk without a sharp tongue
hoping one day I will get a release

With each and every difference I go further and further
With each and every idea getting stronger and stronger
With each and every moment getting harder and harder
I could not fall back, I cannot die.

I  stay away from the outside world
As far away as I can.
The world is full of disappointments
and I ran away from them.

I am waiting for a day where the world conform to me.
Need I say more, corpses they shall be.
Your resistance is insufficient against me.
Help will never come, in despair you will be.