Raindrops remind me of you, of your warmth
sitting alone with you, the rain on my limbs, my heart.

Rain reminds me of you
the way you dripped into my life
dropped into my heart.

Think about it a while,
and think about me.

Rain reminds me of your arms
wrapping me, protecting me from the world
I have tried to forget the way you held me.

But rain always comes again
dripping little memories about my world

I wish I could love you
the way I do in my head.
My dreams are all around me,
filling every breath I take.

The rain taps on my window
and my mind floats back to you.
Washing everything away from me,
waving as you go.

My feet move faster,
and each step is a goal.
The finish line moves closer
as the ground moves away.

I wish I could have loved you,
the way I did in my head.
Floating away from me
taking everything as you go.

It’s that feeling,
(the one I love so much)
that keeps me away from you.

I build myself up,
tell myself that you are not the one I want
then I look at you
and forget all I’ve told myself.

You walk in and all the heads turn

stunning

the only word that fits.

The fact that you make me feel this way scares me
I know who you are, and,
I know I can’t have that.

Light
flooding into my body as I open my eyes
this long dark slumber has left its mark

I try to move my body
frozen
movement seems foreign to me

Allowing the light to flow into me
allowing it to heat me one part at a time
movement will come to me soon

Words rush into my head
if I could move,
they would paralyze me

My mouth begins to open
and I smell the fresh morning air
the light moves down on me and I can only watch

As the new words flow out of me
my shoulders begin to come alive
a dance withheld beneath my flesh

With the movement of my shoulders
comes a jolt of life
and my arms begin to awaken

Next is my *******
Remembering all that they have done for me
and words cease to work

My fingers begin a beautiful dance
shouting encouragement to the rest of me
which soon follows suit

As my gut begins to churn
I realize
I am hungry from this never ending slumber

My legs unlock
releasing a world of possibilities
aching to run again

My feet are all that are left
and I feel them awakening
each toe beginning to dance

I sit up
stand up
and move

I have never felt so alive
so ready to go
to leave this forever behind

The water wraps around my toes

fear slowly flows over me
getting closer as I slide in.

More kids start to jump in

I need encouragement from the deck

I know what comes next:
My least favorite part of the day.

The other kids look so happy,
so comfortable,
so safe.

My teacher is next to me now
and I freeze with the words I know he’ll say.
“It’s time to get a little deeper,
no floats this time.”

Knees try to give out,
but I won’t let my face go under
I try to leave,
but can’t stand the scornful eyes

The class is almost over
and I am still on the wall
I know he’ll come talk to me
but the fear won’t let me move.

Laying here on the floor
speaker in front of my face
I know I hold all the power
and can change my own little fate

Not knowing what else to do
I can only speak the truth
not for the others around me
but truly for myself

One little word can change the way I live
and not just for the here and now
I feel the weight on my back
when she asks the simple question

simple enough when you’re not in my head
I open my mouth to say it
knowing this is my chance
to finally say, “No.”

The leaves in the garden rustle as I’m hunting the snails
as we move, we both know our show will be better than anything inside.

Inside I can hear the hustle and bustle getting ready, taking seats
the beat begins and I know I’ve lost them all.

The man with the magic fingers drops another bomb in my head
too small and tired to see around the strings.

The giant cookies are just a small part of the night
starting with me in my own little world.