If you're happy and you know it
Clap your hands.
If you're happy and you don't know it,
Get some exercise, get some sun.
If you're unhappy and you know it,
Do the same.
If you're unhappy and you don't know it, please do nothing.

I don't know where all this came from.
One moment I was a hungry, eager kid
With his life before him,
And the next I was a stuffy old loser.
Cramped in by his things,
Cornered by his possessions,
Shuffling along in his manacles,
Seeing the world in slow motion
Through his blinkers.

I concede that I
Need not be happy;
I concede that I
Might just be lonely;
That might just be
How things are.
That might just be
How things will be.
But my words still stand;
I want what's due to me.

Oh quit
Your whining, you whiner, you
Poser, you think you suffer alone ?
Why, look around you, don't you
See there is suffering in the world, you
Suffering fool!
Don't you think if you wanted
To be happy, that you'd
Do it already,
Why should you get anything more
Than anyone else? Isn't
Everyone the same? Aren't all unhappy ?
You wouldn't be happily unequal so
You're unhappily equal to all,
This is what you wished for
Most clearly. If now you find
Your aims at cross-
Purposes, am I to blame? I who
Merely make all your wishes
In their glorious entirety
Come true?

It's ok, don't fret it, I ain't greedy,
I'm lonely and I gotta be that way and I know it,
But all I'm asking for, really, is a single moment,
A single moment of complete happy-ness, that I
Can stretch like jelly to wrap everything inside.
But my warning still stands, and you better heed it,
I know what's due to me and I know that you know it
Too, so don't ***** me over because I'm not gonna
Go out with a whimper if you try to *****
Me out of the bargain that we made a long time ago,
And you know and I know you do,
That a lot has happened and I've held up my half,
So you better hold up yours too ...

Hey you! Yes, you! It's me and I want
My life back. Look it's been
Ten years and I made a mistake then and
I see it now.

I don't want this life I have, please
Please can't you take this life
From me and sell me another one?

You gotta do right by me, you can't
Just cheat me like this, you think
I'm gonna put up with this ?

I can't go on with this one, look I'm
Making the best of it and all but c'mon !
You must agree this can't go on!

I want out, mister, and you better listen to me.
I've been good to you and followed your ways
And now I expect you to
Return the favor. Is this too much to ask ?
Can't I get a second chance ?

You can't hide from me behind your holiness,
You can't turn away from me now!
You better listen to me, 'cause if you don't make this right
I'm tearing this whole place down right now!