Yes, my addiction sickens me at times
But people must realize they don't see from my eyes
It's like a living hell, I feel immobilized
It feels like the sun rays bounce off my skin just right
It feels like a pheasant taking it's first flight
At this moment is when real life hits, here's a quick insight
I don't rest at night
If anything it's the time I'm most awake
I'm consumed in my own thought
I ask "why does my brain function this way"
I'm left In dismay still to today
I never stop processing and run out of things to say
Oh my god! Minds sinking deeper
Everything's spinning I'm in loops like an emotional roller coaster
Till it finally stops
I awake right now
I write this because I'm scared
Only to fall deeper
My mind is on an incline though
But not the good kind
I question who I am
Am I even "I"
To understand this one must rely
On outside sources
But when that happens I'm put on my different life courses
Not one individual is the same
So when "I" do this who is to blame