are you happy?
like truly happy
like dog peeing of excitement happy
like stomach hurts from laughter happy
like seeing your food arrive at a restaurant happy
or are you sitting with your friends feeling alone
are you dismissing your dreams
i wonder how people see me
am i worth more than this
am i worth less
am i settling

he was a second behind
she was a second ahead
the clock watched and laughed
as two lovers
never met

and after all that time
you were still there
and i still loved you

it was hazy
but i felt his touch
like trickling water down my skin
he looked at me like i was someone shiny
the faint flicker of reality
the drifting of fantasy
awake and alone

i hate the dreams of him
they remind me of
his eyes
his hair
his hands

yet they are not mine
his eyes
his hair
his hands

i wake up hollow
desiring someone i've never had
and the emptiness is tangible
it leaves me missing someone i've never had