I stood beside a boy today that
smelled the same way that you do.
It brought me back to the
summer and how we had
our faces so close. Everything
so close.

They say that scent is the strongest
trigger for memories that we have.

Well I remember your arms and
my fingers in your hair
and the way that you told me
I was beautiful, but you're
so beautiful.

I remember your face when
you were sleeping and the way
that we met. Both a little
broken and both a little too
over our heads.

I'm sorry that I'm late, Madame, but
I was in the bathroom reading
The suicide letter of the boy that
Broke his heart 4 years ago.
I remember he bought my icy-pole
On the hottest day of the year
Because I was 10¢ short and
Only in year 7. So small.
He played basketball and won
More games for our school in
Two years than it had won
In twenty.
Everyone always wondered
Why the boy that all the
Girls wanted, never dated
Until the day that they did.
I remember there being a lot
Of yelling and an ambulance
And the only bathroom stall
Roped off with crime tape.
I remember a long, white
Muscled arm dripping
Blood from a plastic stretcher.
The arm which had scored
Countless three-pointers and
Inspired the small male population
Of the school was cold,
Reaching out to me.
I tried to take his hand but
A policeman told me to back
Away. From my hero.
From my icy-pole saviour.

I don't believe in God.

I believe in dark skinned girls
That scream Leviticus at the two
Teenagers on my second bus home.

I believe in my mother heaving
Her woes while my father
Tells me to change the channel and
Stop being so bad at life, as though
Theres a syllabus I never studied which
Teaches you that the expensive apples
Are the sweetest and the 60c ones
Will leave a bitter taste in your mouth.

I believe that you can be bad at math
But good at physics because you know
That a stone thrown from x will weigh c
And therefore get to y within k amount
Of time.
Y being you and c being me, naturally.

I believe that chewing on foil is bad
For your mouth but is a stress reliever
For all the times that your work has
Been ripped up and then thrown
Back at your face, as if symbolising
Your entire eduction.

I believe that there is a light at the
End of this tunnel but you've got to
Hold my hand while we feel the walls
For a switch.

Click.

I am a mirrored twin, the nostalgic one.

And I could hand you a sermon on kindness
But you wouldn't want it because
I've seen you kick down young children and grown men
With words and clenched fists,
Holding on to the things that you've always known.

You could try to strip away the skin to find out what's inside and
I don't know what you were expecting
Since my lungs could be your lungs,
Or my liver the same as yours, even.
We bleed the same blood from the same wounds
And my heart beats at the same tempo as yours.

I suppose I should thank you for shaping me,
Giving me my leather skin,
My ******, word-worn heart.

Oh, daddy.
Oh, classmates of mine.
Oh, teachers that never cared.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I fall in love with words.

Words written by a pen
or a pencil
or by fingertips on frosted glass.

The soft curve of an 'a' is
Almost as enticing as naked hips.
The smell of ink on aged paper
Is almost as ****** as a
Hard body in my sheets.

Spoken words could never be
As alluring as the ones that
Have been whispered into a heart
By a spread of fingers on skin.

Give me your words and I'll
Give you my heart.

Write them down for me.

I see what is happening to you like a nostalgia
Because I know exactly what it's like and oh,

I wish, I wish, I wish that I could help you.

Make it stop
Throw it away as unnecessary emotion.

I've been just as mad and
Just as reclusive and
I don't want you to suffer for this anymore.

I don't know how to put all that I am into
Words for you, I only have this.

You are more than your sadness and
More than this hollowing pivotal point that
wrung me dry of all that I had.

I don't want to see that happen to you.

I had a dream about you last night.
I thought that I had forgotten you but
There you were,
Sitting on my roof
Trying to give me a book that I had
Already read.