I woke up normally
Past the time everyone else had risen
I had eaten breakfast
Lunch
Dinner
Just like everyone else
My brain had been focused on technology all day
Cell phone
Computer
Television
Like normal
My day was normal just like always
Until you told me the bad news
Then my day shattered
Broken
Irreparable
Damaged
Now I can’t stop the abnormal tears
Or the abnormal shudders that course through my body even as the heat is on full blast
This is why I like normality
But no matter how many times I build up my daily normality
It always falls apart again
And again
And again.

I'm really reconsidering the sentence 'I Hate You'
It's meaning was once very difficult and complicated to me but now it's very clear
Hate is Darkness
It is Power
Evil
Bliss
Some say it's bittersweet
I say it's a ******* warm embrace
Some say you shouldn't let it consume you
Well I say it feels really good in my heart right now

Your calls have grown more hectic
Your greetings have become more dear
Your conversations less memorable
Your stories filled with fear
Your smile less genuine
Your serious side less coarse
Your laughter less melodic
Your lies less forced
Your walks less enjoyed
Your mind less focused
Your heart beat less constant
Your voice less noticed
Your friends less caring
Your family less there
Your life less concerning
Are you really even there?
Your memories less present
Your visits less frequent
Your love less appreciated
Your whole self less independent
Your hate less weak
Your touch less  strong
Your singing less harmonious
Your opinions more wrong
Your house less tidy
Your shoulders less tense
Your mind more messy
Your life full of stress
I wish I could help you
To hold you in my arms
I wish I could provide you with an everlasting warmth
But I know you won't listen
That you'll just pull away
And go back to living
With your heart in disarray
So with this poem I say good-bye
To you and your dreams
Because I can't keep pretending
That you life isn't bursting at the seams

I don't really believe it when people say 'I love you'
Do you really?
If you do then tell me what is love
Tell me what is hate
For there isn't really any love if you don't know what hate is
Love had so many meanings
Does anyone really know what all of them are?
And if by some chance you do, would you still say
'I love you?'

Hate
It's as deep as the abyss
Yet it makes you feel so bright
So terribly bright
When you say those three words
It becomes so horribly dark that you wonder what you really just said
"I hate you"